lapband - judgement

So many people see someone overweight/obese and automatically think they know why they are that size and how to help them. Let me tell you now, that no you don't.

People put on weight for a variety of reasons. Health - both physcial and mental, over eating, wrong diet etc.

For me it was a combination of things. 20 years of steriods and other medication sure put a lot on. Lack of exercise was another. These 2 however are related. The steriods didn't help my bones, cracked discs then in my back tending to Ryan led to constant pain, which led to not exercising.

Another reason was depression. I suffered pnd after the birth of Jade, then just getting over that when Ryan was diagnosed. I had grief counselling which helped but then the guilt sets in.

It was bad enough knowing that I had to watch my son go from a toddler who could do everything to being in a wheelchair not being able to do anything to one day losing him while he was still a young man. It was having genetic tests that said I was a carrier and passed it on and that I also passed it onto my daughter and she was a carrier as well.

It was inlaws saying it was my fault. It was always having to be the strong one that kept the family together. Hubby didn't and still doesn't in a way, deal with any of it.

Food was my crutch. It wasn't that I ate a huge amount of food. It was that I ate the wrong food instead - lollies and chocolate. Most bigger people don't eat a lot. Some do, but a lot probably eat less than some thin people. I was punishing myself and I guess even in a way thinking it would be better if I went first.

I remember my doctor saying that I wouldn't see 50 due to smoking and weight and thinking, big flucking deal.

Smoking I just stopped. After 32 years and a pack or more a day I just stopped. Of course that helped with my asthma, which helped with medication.

It took the fall before help with the weight could come. Even now after the band, if I get upset I look for something sweet. Yes it is an addiction. Yes I have to fight it.

My back is still stuffed and I will take pain killers so I can exercise. Also with less weight it is easier to do it as well.

So before you judge, think about what the person might be going thru that you don't know about.