Let me start by saying that this is a pity me post, so if you don't want to hear a whinge, then leave now.
I find that at night when things go around and around in my head, that they won't go away until I get it down on paper. While this is not something I would normally write about, it is something that is just not going away. So here goes........it's your last chance to leave now....
I will start by saying that yes I am grateful for the help we receive from DSQ, Montrose and QMDA. If it wasn't for them, we would never get to go away during the year or have respite. So for that I am very thankful.
Now in saying that, I don't need people to throw in my face that I should be thankful that we get help and get centrelink benefits. Some act like it is coming out of their own pockets. Well guess what. We pay tax as well.
While I might do some things differently, there is not much I would change.
If we were to relinquish Ryan's care, it would cost the tax payer a minimum of $300.000 a year just for carers, not including housing, travel etc. So do we get a thank you from those that say we should be grateful for saving them that money? God no!! Something like that would never cross their minds.
Now for the things I rarely ever talk about. Looking after Ryan severely damaged my back. I have pain in it every day and on the days it is really bad, I need Peter to help me get dressed and do some simple tasks. Now because of this, I can't be Ryan's full time carer, Peter has to be. With centrelink he is allowed to work 25 hours a week. All his income is reported each fortnight and our payments are adjusted. I don't think we have ever received a full payment.
We are in our own home that we are paying off, we have no other debts apart from paying off our cruise to QMDA. So we are not getting rent assistance or staying in government housing. We have private health insurance and all our hospital admissions are private and not draining the overworked system.
We are not extravagant people, we haven't been able to. When we had our own business, it was doing fine until we had 3 big jobs in a row not pay. It is the only time we have gone to a charity for help, but that was so the kids would have food.
With doing the gardens and things around the house and cooking classes, I have been selling items to buy what I am doing. I own 5 pairs of shoes - slippers, joggers, boots, good shoes and slip ons. Our tv came from Big W and we don't have a surround sound system. I don't care that I don't have them and I don't care if you do.
You might say that all of this is no ones business. You are right, but oh so wrong. Because we get benefits, there are some that work, that think it is their business. This people can make you feel like shit. But having dealt with people like this for years, I am use to it.
What has brought a lot of this to the surface over the last couple of weeks, is that we are trying to get a new car for me. Mine is on its last legs and is too low for me and meaning that by the time I finish the grocery shopping, I am having to lift my legs into the car and in pain from just about falling in.
You would think that having over $500,000 in assets would mean that getting a small loan would not be a problem. After all, they seem to just throw money around at people these days. Well how wrong you are. Because some of our income is from centrelink, most places won't touch you. As we were told - it doesn't matter it is was $1000 or $100,000, the answer would be the same.
So all in all it just sucks. It sucks that some people think they can treat you like shit, it sucks that because we choose to look after our son and not let him be a burden on the tax payer that we get penalized.
I am not looking for pity or a hand out or hugs or anything else. I am just letting you know that it sucks. Now hopefully, I have this off my chest and can now get some sleep tonight.