Well I had another fill. I had been putting it off since I am having a lot of dental work done and you need good teeth to chew, chew, chew. But as I said to my surgeon I can always blend it.
I have had to go back on nexium. The burning in my throat from burping was terrible. It is one of the side effects of the band being tight.
As you might have seen I reached one of my goals, which was to get a pair of jeans. I was so happy, esp since they were a 24 and with a BELT. No elastic in sight!!!! I also got some shorts in a 22 that fitted. When I started all this I was 32+
Because I mainly eat fish and chicken I have been doing a lot of experimenting with recipes, which I have to say I am enjoying for a change.
We are going on holidays soon and I might even be tempted to go swimming :)
Monday 15 August 2011
lapband - oct 2010
I had a fill yesterday. Needed one about 4 weeks ago, but I am having a heap of dental work done and wanted to wait. Problem is the dentist is doing one tooth at a time and I have apts until December.
Now have I said before that you need good teeth to have the lapband. One thing you have to do is chew, chew, chew your food. With painful teeth, that doesn't happen. The dr asked if I was sure I wanted a fill and I said yep even if I have to blend my food before eating. I had only lost just over 1kg since I saw him in August due to eating bigger meals.
I am now able to buy clothes at regular shops such as kmart or 1626 etc. That feels so good. The dr yesterday said that when I get to 100kgs he is sending me to the surgeon to see about getting all the excess skin cut off. While excited about this, I am also very nervous about the pain. He has said they could probably do everything I want done at the same time - arms, boobs, stomach. I was talking to someone and they had 20kgs of skin removed. :O
Even after over a year its still hard to get use to some of the things you have to do. When out with friends and esp talking you want to have a drink, but if you do while eating, I find I throw up. Funny how a lifetime of habits are hard to break.
I have been experimenting with recipes lately. Since I no longer have steak, bread etc and eat mainly chicken and fish, its becoming a challenge to cook different dishes. So far they have all gone down well here at home with the family so thats a plus lol.
I have more energy, well when not tired haha and am enjoying doing things I couldn't do before.
One of the things I am aiming for in the next month, is to practice getting on and off the floor. I know, sounds a simple thing, but something I haven't done in over 2 years. I want to do this so that when we go on holidays I can use the spa.
I can now put my socks on and do my shoes up without help. All things people take for granted except when your obese.
Anyway thats this months update. I will let you know how I get on with the spa :)
Now have I said before that you need good teeth to have the lapband. One thing you have to do is chew, chew, chew your food. With painful teeth, that doesn't happen. The dr asked if I was sure I wanted a fill and I said yep even if I have to blend my food before eating. I had only lost just over 1kg since I saw him in August due to eating bigger meals.
I am now able to buy clothes at regular shops such as kmart or 1626 etc. That feels so good. The dr yesterday said that when I get to 100kgs he is sending me to the surgeon to see about getting all the excess skin cut off. While excited about this, I am also very nervous about the pain. He has said they could probably do everything I want done at the same time - arms, boobs, stomach. I was talking to someone and they had 20kgs of skin removed. :O
Even after over a year its still hard to get use to some of the things you have to do. When out with friends and esp talking you want to have a drink, but if you do while eating, I find I throw up. Funny how a lifetime of habits are hard to break.
I have been experimenting with recipes lately. Since I no longer have steak, bread etc and eat mainly chicken and fish, its becoming a challenge to cook different dishes. So far they have all gone down well here at home with the family so thats a plus lol.
I have more energy, well when not tired haha and am enjoying doing things I couldn't do before.
One of the things I am aiming for in the next month, is to practice getting on and off the floor. I know, sounds a simple thing, but something I haven't done in over 2 years. I want to do this so that when we go on holidays I can use the spa.
I can now put my socks on and do my shoes up without help. All things people take for granted except when your obese.
Anyway thats this months update. I will let you know how I get on with the spa :)
lapband - reflux
I had the specialist today but didn't get a fill as it is still tight. I am having terrible trouble with relux atm. Unforunately this is one of the side effects of a tight band. Also stress will make the band feel tighter, which happened over the holidays and esp the day of the funeral when nothing would go down.
I also found out that the meds for my back will make the refux worse.... yah, which do I want more haha.
One of the things that is happening now is when going out its getting harder to find food to eat. When shopping most places are either sandwichs or battered/crumbed food, none of which I can eat. Even at some places to eat there is no choice. We went out for dinner on the coast and the only thing on the menu at the club we went to that I could eat was soup. I have found though that thai and chinese are great to have and thankfully I love them both.
Oh and I should mention for gena that cold rock icecream is great to when on holidays haha.
Anyway the dr was really happy with how I am going... 8kgs down since last visit. Go back in 3 months or sooner if I feel I need a fill.
Now to give you an idea of what I have with my band, here is a sample menu of a typical week.
Breakfast every day - porridge
Lunch - either wrap, omellete, or left overs
Dinner - fish and veggies, lasagne, lamb or chicken done in crockpot, chinese, thai or homemade pizza (can't eat shop ones, I think mine are ok since they are piled high with filling) or a pasta dish with the pasta cooked softer, chicken and veggies.
Sometimes I have yoghurt or if friends are over might have dessert.
I also found out that the meds for my back will make the refux worse.... yah, which do I want more haha.
One of the things that is happening now is when going out its getting harder to find food to eat. When shopping most places are either sandwichs or battered/crumbed food, none of which I can eat. Even at some places to eat there is no choice. We went out for dinner on the coast and the only thing on the menu at the club we went to that I could eat was soup. I have found though that thai and chinese are great to have and thankfully I love them both.
Oh and I should mention for gena that cold rock icecream is great to when on holidays haha.
Anyway the dr was really happy with how I am going... 8kgs down since last visit. Go back in 3 months or sooner if I feel I need a fill.
Now to give you an idea of what I have with my band, here is a sample menu of a typical week.
Breakfast every day - porridge
Lunch - either wrap, omellete, or left overs
Dinner - fish and veggies, lasagne, lamb or chicken done in crockpot, chinese, thai or homemade pizza (can't eat shop ones, I think mine are ok since they are piled high with filling) or a pasta dish with the pasta cooked softer, chicken and veggies.
Sometimes I have yoghurt or if friends are over might have dessert.
lapband - brain block
I am getting so frustrated. This getting over the 130kg mark is taking forever and is becoming a huge mound for me. So today I have started using Troy's gym set to help me overcome this block. Maybe something different to walking might help.
I am sure its my mind stopping it happening, rather than anything I am doing. I haven't put on, neither have I lost.
Another thing happening atm is my depression is playing up. The 2 probably go hand in hand. With the loss of sleep with Ryan, I get so tired that all I seem to do at times is cry. Then I start thinking of all the things that friends can just go and do eg holidays without their grown up kids, free to do what they want or to just pop to the shops when they want (even though I hate shopping). Its just everything has to be a well planned tactical manoeuver. If I want to do this on this day, who will be able to watch Ryan. What time can they do it from and to, will I fit everything in that time rah rah.
See how it goes. Then there has been the worry about money lately with the increase amounts with carers and the tv blowing up. I wouldn't have worried about the tv but we had a carer coming that night at midnight and I couldn't very well say "sit here and twiddle you thumbs." So that money came from the money that was to be for our holiday with Ryan at the end of next month. Yes we are still going and having a garage sale in a couple of weekends to repay that money.
I am not asking for help etc here, just venting and showing how all the little things are tending to build into big things atm. Saying how I wish that life could be simplified into the "normal" day to day challengers that others have. And also that I would stop farting and burping so much lately haha. Is that too much to ask???? lol.
I am sure its my mind stopping it happening, rather than anything I am doing. I haven't put on, neither have I lost.
Another thing happening atm is my depression is playing up. The 2 probably go hand in hand. With the loss of sleep with Ryan, I get so tired that all I seem to do at times is cry. Then I start thinking of all the things that friends can just go and do eg holidays without their grown up kids, free to do what they want or to just pop to the shops when they want (even though I hate shopping). Its just everything has to be a well planned tactical manoeuver. If I want to do this on this day, who will be able to watch Ryan. What time can they do it from and to, will I fit everything in that time rah rah.
See how it goes. Then there has been the worry about money lately with the increase amounts with carers and the tv blowing up. I wouldn't have worried about the tv but we had a carer coming that night at midnight and I couldn't very well say "sit here and twiddle you thumbs." So that money came from the money that was to be for our holiday with Ryan at the end of next month. Yes we are still going and having a garage sale in a couple of weekends to repay that money.
I am not asking for help etc here, just venting and showing how all the little things are tending to build into big things atm. Saying how I wish that life could be simplified into the "normal" day to day challengers that others have. And also that I would stop farting and burping so much lately haha. Is that too much to ask???? lol.
lapband - 12 months 2010
Well today its been 12 months since my lap band was put in. Wow what changes there have been!!!
I have averaged around .698 kgs lost a week, which I am happy about.
I have more energy and nanny naps are a thing of the past.
Clothes sizes have gone down, car seat has had to be moved forward and shoe size has gone down.
I have no signs of diabetes, my blood pressure is down on the low side instead of the high and my asthma has improved.
I can't eat bread, eat anything crumbed or have soft drink without something in it (which isn't a bad thing when its barcardi or lemon, lime and bitters), without it getting stuck.
I walk quicker and exercise more. As Ryan said to me last night, " Mum you don't realize how strong you are". I think he meant strength and not smell lol.
I have done things I couldn't of done 12 months ago - my trip with walking around the zoo for hours and going on the sky safari, going jet boating (although won't be in a rush to do that again) and so much more. Even small things like now tying my own shoelaces, which might not sound like a big deal but is to me.
While decluttering my body, I have also done so with my life through the house and only having people around me that make me feel good and are true friends - which is why you lot are here.
Thank you for your support and friendship, it means so much to me. :)
I have averaged around .698 kgs lost a week, which I am happy about.
I have more energy and nanny naps are a thing of the past.
Clothes sizes have gone down, car seat has had to be moved forward and shoe size has gone down.
I have no signs of diabetes, my blood pressure is down on the low side instead of the high and my asthma has improved.
I can't eat bread, eat anything crumbed or have soft drink without something in it (which isn't a bad thing when its barcardi or lemon, lime and bitters), without it getting stuck.
I walk quicker and exercise more. As Ryan said to me last night, " Mum you don't realize how strong you are". I think he meant strength and not smell lol.
I have done things I couldn't of done 12 months ago - my trip with walking around the zoo for hours and going on the sky safari, going jet boating (although won't be in a rush to do that again) and so much more. Even small things like now tying my own shoelaces, which might not sound like a big deal but is to me.
While decluttering my body, I have also done so with my life through the house and only having people around me that make me feel good and are true friends - which is why you lot are here.
Thank you for your support and friendship, it means so much to me. :)
lapband - waterfalls
lol, not that type of water falls. I forget each time when I have a fill and am on liquids that all I do is pee like I am 8 months pregnant haha. Up 3 or more times during the night and then every half hour or so during the day.
One of the other things that happens when your on liquids only, and this I find very odd, is that you get constipated. Its the only time it happens and I have to take fibre. Guess its the no roughage being eaten that does it.
Had blood tests this week and everything is perfect. My good cholestrol level - the one that takes all the crap away from the heart - is over 1 for the first time since I have been seeing my dr, and thats 20 years. At this rate I will live to 100 haha.
One of the other things that happens when your on liquids only, and this I find very odd, is that you get constipated. Its the only time it happens and I have to take fibre. Guess its the no roughage being eaten that does it.
Had blood tests this week and everything is perfect. My good cholestrol level - the one that takes all the crap away from the heart - is over 1 for the first time since I have been seeing my dr, and thats 20 years. At this rate I will live to 100 haha.
lapband - throwing up
I find that when I start getting to the lower end of a range that I seem to stay the same for a while. For example I started in the 160's so when I got to around 161 to 163 its like a giant hurdle to get to the 150's, same to get to the 140's and 130's. Now its happening to get to the 120's.
Its like I get so excited to nearly be there and my body says "nah nah we tricked you".
This one is a biggy as I can't remember the 120's. So I am hoping by the end of the month I will be there :)
The one thing I hate about the band is that you never know when your going to get something stuck. Of course some foods you know and just don't have, but other foods are ok one day and not the next.
For me this seems to be wraps and chicken. I can have chicken and salad on a wrap one day or then like today it gets stuck. I haven't thrown up for ages... actually it was the 10th feb when Leanne was over for lunch (also fil's birthday). Then it was also wraps. Yet I have wraps nearly every day for lunch.
I am starting to think that maybe stress makes the band tighter as well. Today I had to go and say farewell to a lovely friend who is dying. I spent a few hours with her this morning before coming home for a late lunch.
Anyway thats my update for now lol
Its like I get so excited to nearly be there and my body says "nah nah we tricked you".
This one is a biggy as I can't remember the 120's. So I am hoping by the end of the month I will be there :)
The one thing I hate about the band is that you never know when your going to get something stuck. Of course some foods you know and just don't have, but other foods are ok one day and not the next.
For me this seems to be wraps and chicken. I can have chicken and salad on a wrap one day or then like today it gets stuck. I haven't thrown up for ages... actually it was the 10th feb when Leanne was over for lunch (also fil's birthday). Then it was also wraps. Yet I have wraps nearly every day for lunch.
I am starting to think that maybe stress makes the band tighter as well. Today I had to go and say farewell to a lovely friend who is dying. I spent a few hours with her this morning before coming home for a late lunch.
Anyway thats my update for now lol
lapband - judgement
So many people see someone overweight/obese and automatically think they know why they are that size and how to help them. Let me tell you now, that no you don't.
People put on weight for a variety of reasons. Health - both physcial and mental, over eating, wrong diet etc.
For me it was a combination of things. 20 years of steriods and other medication sure put a lot on. Lack of exercise was another. These 2 however are related. The steriods didn't help my bones, cracked discs then in my back tending to Ryan led to constant pain, which led to not exercising.
Another reason was depression. I suffered pnd after the birth of Jade, then just getting over that when Ryan was diagnosed. I had grief counselling which helped but then the guilt sets in.
It was bad enough knowing that I had to watch my son go from a toddler who could do everything to being in a wheelchair not being able to do anything to one day losing him while he was still a young man. It was having genetic tests that said I was a carrier and passed it on and that I also passed it onto my daughter and she was a carrier as well.
It was inlaws saying it was my fault. It was always having to be the strong one that kept the family together. Hubby didn't and still doesn't in a way, deal with any of it.
Food was my crutch. It wasn't that I ate a huge amount of food. It was that I ate the wrong food instead - lollies and chocolate. Most bigger people don't eat a lot. Some do, but a lot probably eat less than some thin people. I was punishing myself and I guess even in a way thinking it would be better if I went first.
I remember my doctor saying that I wouldn't see 50 due to smoking and weight and thinking, big flucking deal.
Smoking I just stopped. After 32 years and a pack or more a day I just stopped. Of course that helped with my asthma, which helped with medication.
It took the fall before help with the weight could come. Even now after the band, if I get upset I look for something sweet. Yes it is an addiction. Yes I have to fight it.
My back is still stuffed and I will take pain killers so I can exercise. Also with less weight it is easier to do it as well.
So before you judge, think about what the person might be going thru that you don't know about.
People put on weight for a variety of reasons. Health - both physcial and mental, over eating, wrong diet etc.
For me it was a combination of things. 20 years of steriods and other medication sure put a lot on. Lack of exercise was another. These 2 however are related. The steriods didn't help my bones, cracked discs then in my back tending to Ryan led to constant pain, which led to not exercising.
Another reason was depression. I suffered pnd after the birth of Jade, then just getting over that when Ryan was diagnosed. I had grief counselling which helped but then the guilt sets in.
It was bad enough knowing that I had to watch my son go from a toddler who could do everything to being in a wheelchair not being able to do anything to one day losing him while he was still a young man. It was having genetic tests that said I was a carrier and passed it on and that I also passed it onto my daughter and she was a carrier as well.
It was inlaws saying it was my fault. It was always having to be the strong one that kept the family together. Hubby didn't and still doesn't in a way, deal with any of it.
Food was my crutch. It wasn't that I ate a huge amount of food. It was that I ate the wrong food instead - lollies and chocolate. Most bigger people don't eat a lot. Some do, but a lot probably eat less than some thin people. I was punishing myself and I guess even in a way thinking it would be better if I went first.
I remember my doctor saying that I wouldn't see 50 due to smoking and weight and thinking, big flucking deal.
Smoking I just stopped. After 32 years and a pack or more a day I just stopped. Of course that helped with my asthma, which helped with medication.
It took the fall before help with the weight could come. Even now after the band, if I get upset I look for something sweet. Yes it is an addiction. Yes I have to fight it.
My back is still stuffed and I will take pain killers so I can exercise. Also with less weight it is easier to do it as well.
So before you judge, think about what the person might be going thru that you don't know about.
lapband - health changes
I had to do a follow up survey for the psychologist that I saw prior to having the ban done. It reminded me of a few health changes to share.
Hypertension - I have been on medication for high blood pressure for a while now. In December I had to have my medication reduced due to BP lowering. It has also got to the stage where I might be able to come off it altogether soon ..woohooo.
Diabetes - While mine has always been diet controlled, the doctor is now saying that I may not be classed as diabetic any more. Can't say if he does this, that I will miss the 3 monthly pee in a jar and go for blood tests that I do haha.
Sleeping - I use to have a daily nana nap in the afternoon. Now I very rarely have one. Also not sleeping in like I use to on the days that someone is here for Ryan.
General Health - I have a lot more energy. A good example was while away and going to Taronga Park Zoo. We spend 5 to 6 hours there and I only stopped for 2 shows (the bird and seal) and for lunch and one other rest. I would never have been able to walk around there like I did. Also when shopping I can now have a brisk walk without the need of grabbing the first trolley I see to help me with walking along.
Back problems - I can't say there has been any change in this, but as my gp said "its fked" haha.
Asthma, arthritis and depression - no changes with any of these.
Overall I feel better in myself, although I do know I still have a long way to go with my mindset on it all.
Hypertension - I have been on medication for high blood pressure for a while now. In December I had to have my medication reduced due to BP lowering. It has also got to the stage where I might be able to come off it altogether soon ..woohooo.
Diabetes - While mine has always been diet controlled, the doctor is now saying that I may not be classed as diabetic any more. Can't say if he does this, that I will miss the 3 monthly pee in a jar and go for blood tests that I do haha.
Sleeping - I use to have a daily nana nap in the afternoon. Now I very rarely have one. Also not sleeping in like I use to on the days that someone is here for Ryan.
General Health - I have a lot more energy. A good example was while away and going to Taronga Park Zoo. We spend 5 to 6 hours there and I only stopped for 2 shows (the bird and seal) and for lunch and one other rest. I would never have been able to walk around there like I did. Also when shopping I can now have a brisk walk without the need of grabbing the first trolley I see to help me with walking along.
Back problems - I can't say there has been any change in this, but as my gp said "its fked" haha.
Asthma, arthritis and depression - no changes with any of these.
Overall I feel better in myself, although I do know I still have a long way to go with my mindset on it all.
Lapband and why it started
The start of the journey
May 29 2009 05:25 pm
I had looked at lap band briefly and the end of last year. The costs were what put me off initially. So I got stuck into doing some more research - what drs had good reps, who had been done and had problems and what were they, what food was involved etc.
I spoke to a couple of people that I knew of that had gotten done. One had major problems with hers and had to have it removed, the other had no problems.
I joined Yahoo lapbanders site and lurked and read what peoplethere had to say. I decided I would go and speak to a specialist and see what they said about me having it done. I was just going to take my time with it all.
The first specialist I saw was lovely. He put me at my ease as I had been panicking that they would say no you can't be done. He explained everything in detail to me,
He was more than willing to do my surgery but the hospital he operated out of had a bmi restriction and I was over that limit. Yeah stupid hey!! You're going to have an operation to lose weight but your too heavy. So he referred me to another specialist.
I came home and rang to make an appointment with the new one and was expecting to have to wait for a couple of weeks or so, but no, I was in the very next Monday!!!
I asked hubby to come with me so that he knew what it was all about as well and to catch anything I missed or ask any questions he might want to know.
When we saw Dr Adib we found him to be extremely friendly and positive person. He went thru things again about the surgery and then said he could do it on the 22 May, (It was the 20th April when I saw him). Hubby was straight away, "book it in for then". I was sitting there like a fish with my mouth opening and closing. I said "but we don't have the money yet". Hubby had already said he would sell one of his cars to pay for it, but as of that date we still hadn't sold it. Dr Adib said that he would do payment plan to help us out until the car sold.
While I was excited about having it done, I was also feeling guilty, that hubby finally after years of trying, had a car that he could show. But he insisted it was okay.
The dr had me starting optifast on May 1st, 3 weeks prior to my operation. The optifast stage is to shrink your liver. The dr during the op hangs up the liver so he can get to your stomach. If it is still fatty it can be damaged very easily, so getting rid of all fats from it, makes it safer to work on.
I had to see his dietician who gave me the eating plan for the first 3 weeks. I also had to make an appointment with a psychologist to make sure I was ready for the op.
With it being so close to not being able to have food, I had some friends come over for lunch for what we called the "Last Supper". Good food and good company.
I was nervous, excited but feeling positive that this was the start of something good.
I spoke to a couple of people that I knew of that had gotten done. One had major problems with hers and had to have it removed, the other had no problems.
I joined Yahoo lapbanders site and lurked and read what peoplethere had to say. I decided I would go and speak to a specialist and see what they said about me having it done. I was just going to take my time with it all.
The first specialist I saw was lovely. He put me at my ease as I had been panicking that they would say no you can't be done. He explained everything in detail to me,
He was more than willing to do my surgery but the hospital he operated out of had a bmi restriction and I was over that limit. Yeah stupid hey!! You're going to have an operation to lose weight but your too heavy. So he referred me to another specialist.
I came home and rang to make an appointment with the new one and was expecting to have to wait for a couple of weeks or so, but no, I was in the very next Monday!!!
I asked hubby to come with me so that he knew what it was all about as well and to catch anything I missed or ask any questions he might want to know.
When we saw Dr Adib we found him to be extremely friendly and positive person. He went thru things again about the surgery and then said he could do it on the 22 May, (It was the 20th April when I saw him). Hubby was straight away, "book it in for then". I was sitting there like a fish with my mouth opening and closing. I said "but we don't have the money yet". Hubby had already said he would sell one of his cars to pay for it, but as of that date we still hadn't sold it. Dr Adib said that he would do payment plan to help us out until the car sold.
While I was excited about having it done, I was also feeling guilty, that hubby finally after years of trying, had a car that he could show. But he insisted it was okay.
The dr had me starting optifast on May 1st, 3 weeks prior to my operation. The optifast stage is to shrink your liver. The dr during the op hangs up the liver so he can get to your stomach. If it is still fatty it can be damaged very easily, so getting rid of all fats from it, makes it safer to work on.
I had to see his dietician who gave me the eating plan for the first 3 weeks. I also had to make an appointment with a psychologist to make sure I was ready for the op.
With it being so close to not being able to have food, I had some friends come over for lunch for what we called the "Last Supper". Good food and good company.
I was nervous, excited but feeling positive that this was the start of something good.
For years I have battled with my weight. 20 years of stertoid medication didn't help, along with bad eating habits.
I had stopped smoking in September 2006 cold turkey. The determination that I had then, finally came to me in 2009. It was the right time for me to do something about my situation. I hadn't had any steroid medication for over 12 months, so no more excuses.
Now if you asked if there was one thing that motivated me more than anything else, then the answer is yes.
At the beginning of the year I had a bad fall in our ensuite. I was on the toilet and got up and took a step towards our bedroom. My left foot started to slide on the tiles (they had residue of Ajax on them from the cleaner). I ended up doing the splits, falling onto one knee, then onto my back.
I laid on the floor and sobbed. My husband came in to help me up but I couldn't sit properly due to pain and weight. There was no way that I could get my 167kg blob back onto my feet. As I laid there visions of firemen and ambulance officers coming to try and get me up had me sobbing harder.
I cried for humiliation, shame and disgust. It was the lowest of lows for me.
My husband was able to get my son's hoist and lift me that way and take me to the bed before releasing me. It didn't help that our son's overnight carer arrived during this time, so there was no hiding what had happened.
Right there and then I vowed that this would not continue. I wanted to live, I wanted to see my kids grow, get married and have children.
For me this is probably the kick start I needed.
I had stopped smoking in September 2006 cold turkey. The determination that I had then, finally came to me in 2009. It was the right time for me to do something about my situation. I hadn't had any steroid medication for over 12 months, so no more excuses.
Now if you asked if there was one thing that motivated me more than anything else, then the answer is yes.
At the beginning of the year I had a bad fall in our ensuite. I was on the toilet and got up and took a step towards our bedroom. My left foot started to slide on the tiles (they had residue of Ajax on them from the cleaner). I ended up doing the splits, falling onto one knee, then onto my back.
I laid on the floor and sobbed. My husband came in to help me up but I couldn't sit properly due to pain and weight. There was no way that I could get my 167kg blob back onto my feet. As I laid there visions of firemen and ambulance officers coming to try and get me up had me sobbing harder.
I cried for humiliation, shame and disgust. It was the lowest of lows for me.
My husband was able to get my son's hoist and lift me that way and take me to the bed before releasing me. It didn't help that our son's overnight carer arrived during this time, so there was no hiding what had happened.
Right there and then I vowed that this would not continue. I wanted to live, I wanted to see my kids grow, get married and have children.
For me this is probably the kick start I needed.
Lapband 1
Had my post op visit with the surgeon today. He was extremely pleased with the way I am going. Said it was obvious that I am following everything to the letter. He said that my op had gone well and that I had done a good job cleaning my liver.
I am getting my first fill in 3 weeks time. I will have 5ml of saline injected into the band to tighten it. Then have to go on 2 days of liquids again, and then back to what food I am on then.
The dr was running over 2 hours late. He told me when I went in that he was doing a band on someone that morning and when he got in found a hernia the size of a very large rockmelon. It was so big it had pushed their stomach up in behind their heart. So the op ended up taking 2 hours extra with removal of hernia then having to reposition stomach. OMG can you imagine that!!
Oh and another way to tell I am losing weight. Not only are clothes getting looser, sleeves getting longer but I also had to move the car seat forward to be able to reach the pedals properly. No fat to push me forward haha
Have to say the scales gave me a boost this morning.
Every time I have been on a diet in the past that 150 mark was always like a brick wall that I couldn’t break through. For some reason when I put on weight and went over that 150kg, it was like my body saying “well that’s it, your never going back”.
Well today I did!! 149.85kgs!!!
So body, take that! I am never going back over it again!
And yes I have been taking my medication every night, still not back on even keel but it will come J
Well yesterday and today it all caught up with me. Tears have been flowing and not just in trickles but Noah’s ark flood mode.
I think being bought on by a few things – today being daughters birthday and they always get to pick what they have for a meal, so not being able to have that or cake it just felt like I wasn’t a part of it. Daughter and boyfriend went out last night and came home and not knowing also ate the food I had made up for today (although it wasn’t mushed yet), I went to get it and it wasn’t there.
Also because of crushing tablets to have them and they taste foul, I have been only having them every second night… yeah yeah I know, shouldn’t do that, but I did. Hence anti depressants have seemed to cut out.
Then add to it all family that get shitty because they weren’t told I was going in, doesn’t matter that they never tell us anything and it was a pretty horrible couple of days.
But good thing is that I got on the treadmill to stop myself crying which worked, bad thing I started again writing this lol.
Yesterday I had my first bout of wind up under my right hand side rib area. Boy what pain that causes!! Think I ate the yoghurt too fast.
Speaking of yoghurt I have the best friends around. A friend of mine Jan came over yesterday and knowing what type of foods I am allowed and not allowed, she brought over some gourmet yoghurt. OMG this stuff is yum!!! Made in Qld in comes in flavours such as Mango (which I had), coffee and walnut, rhubarb, and others. As a treat it is a great way to go and better still made in Qld and sold at IGA. Be warned though, ½ cup of it is too much as it is very rich.
The wounds are in such an awkward place. My bra is rubbing on one which isn’t good, so another friend suggested a man’s hanky between bra and wound to stop it happening. Am getting some today. All the others seem to be healing up nicely.
Exercise isn’t going so great, but am going to try and get an exercise buddy to make things easier. Will let you know how that goes.
Family has been so supportive and telling me how well I am doing and how proud they are. Clothes are getting looser and I can actually touch parts of my body that I haven’t been able to for a while eg shoulder blades.
Last night having just sat at the dining room table to have dinner, my youngest decided that me sitting there with my rice bowl and princess fork was just too much temptation. He picked up my fork and in his best daddy voice said “ Here comes the train. Open up, toot toot”. Well that’s when my best batman impression came in lol – wham, bam, pow!!
Tried rissoles and veggies with gravy for dinner last night. Store bought rissoles but never again. Its either none or I make my own. They were a bit too compact to blend so needed more gravy than I would of liked to use.
And did you see more weight loss!!! Now I am only .7kg off of being in the 140’s… wooooohoooooo!!!
Yes you read right, I am a princess!!!
Sent son out today to buy me some small bowls that would hold about ½ cup, so it made it look like I had a big meal and a small fork to have small mouthfuls.
He came home with 5 rice bowls – these are excellent for the mushie stage and hold just the right amount.
He also brought home, a baby fork and spoon. He said he got the one with princesses on them as that is what I am…awwww….think he might be after something lol.
I am really enjoying the different flavors now. It was the thing I have missed the most, especially over the liquid stage.
Last night for supper I had some yoghurt with some apple that I had stewed before my op. just the right amount of tang.
Today a wonderful friend of mine (pozzie) came to visit. With her she brought have the supermarket of food I could eat and also some seafood mornay that she made me – it even had lobster in it!!!
I normally take about 20 mins to eat the ½ cup serve; this took me 40 mins as I was savoring each mouthful. Thank you so much pozz.
Today is our 24th wedding anniversary and we are having curried chicken and rice for dinner and mashed banana and custard for supper. I had been worried I would still be on liquids at the moment and wouldn’t be able to share a dinner with my husband.
I am hoping to add my 1-month photos either later tonight or tomorrow. I am feeling very positive within myself, proud of myself for being able to follow the dietician to the letter and grateful to having wonderful, supportive and caring friends.
I woke this morning very apprehensive about getting to eat food and how I would feel.
For breakfast I made some porridge, it was ok but by the end of 20mins (the length of time I have to take to eat my half cups worth) it was a bit gluggy.
So roll on lunchtime and I had to come and tell you what an explosion I have just had in my mouth. I can tell you that the first mouthful was orgasmic haha. I cooked some veggies - potato, pumpkin and broccoli, and then mashed them with a little milk and to that added a tin of lite tuna tempters that had lemon and cracked pepper in it. Run the hand blender thru it all and omg to die for.
It made 1 and a half cups so 3 meals all toll. I will be freezing it as I am going to build up my choices of just grabbing things out the freezer.
Tonight for dinner I have the crockpot on making a beef stew of - beef, potato, carrot, celery, turnip with tomato puree, water, salt, pepper and instead of sugar I put 1/2 teaspoon of equal. Its finally great to be able to eat with the family and we all have the same thing. Of course theirs won't be blended lol
For breakfast I made some porridge, it was ok but by the end of 20mins (the length of time I have to take to eat my half cups worth) it was a bit gluggy.
So roll on lunchtime and I had to come and tell you what an explosion I have just had in my mouth. I can tell you that the first mouthful was orgasmic haha. I cooked some veggies - potato, pumpkin and broccoli, and then mashed them with a little milk and to that added a tin of lite tuna tempters that had lemon and cracked pepper in it. Run the hand blender thru it all and omg to die for.
It made 1 and a half cups so 3 meals all toll. I will be freezing it as I am going to build up my choices of just grabbing things out the freezer.
Tonight for dinner I have the crockpot on making a beef stew of - beef, potato, carrot, celery, turnip with tomato puree, water, salt, pepper and instead of sugar I put 1/2 teaspoon of equal. Its finally great to be able to eat with the family and we all have the same thing. Of course theirs won't be blended lol
The liquid stage!! I am sure this has to be the hardest part. You have to build from having a sip of liquid every 5 mins to around 125mls every 20 mins at day 4 and then cup every half hour around day 7.
This stage I was allowed -
This stage I was allowed -
- 3 optifast shakes
- tea or coffee with milk
- thin soups
- drinking yoghurt
- vegetable and fruit juices strained
I have to say that first cup of coffee I had on the Sunday was heaven. nearly 4 weeks with no coffee and I didn't care that it took half an hour to drink it. Nectar of the Gods haha.
I was allowed to change what flavour optifast I had now and could have any. I got hubby to buy me the strawberry, which he couldn't get until the Wednesday. By this time I was at the stage of thinking, " I can't cope with making another bloody chocolate shake". That first strawberry was magic!!!
Because I was use to making thick soups I found it easier to buy some chicken and noodle soup and strain it. Every day was shake for breakfast, soup for mid break, shake for lunch, orange juice for mid break then shake for dinner.
Not knowing much about drinking yoghurt I thought it was yukult, so got hubby to get some of this. Revolting stuff. I gave the bottles away to a neighbour haha.
So that brings me to today. I had thedietician this morning and he has said that I can go on mushies starting Sunday. Wooooo hoooooo.
Mushies as my dietician explained is food. So if you make something and then dip a fork in, if it stays if it runs through the prongs it is liquid.
This consists of 6 half cup serves per day eg
I was allowed to change what flavour optifast I had now and could have any. I got hubby to buy me the strawberry, which he couldn't get until the Wednesday. By this time I was at the stage of thinking, " I can't cope with making another bloody chocolate shake". That first strawberry was magic!!!
Because I was use to making thick soups I found it easier to buy some chicken and noodle soup and strain it. Every day was shake for breakfast, soup for mid break, shake for lunch, orange juice for mid break then shake for dinner.
Not knowing much about drinking yoghurt I thought it was yukult, so got hubby to get some of this. Revolting stuff. I gave the bottles away to a neighbour haha.
So that brings me to today. I had thedietician this morning and he has said that I can go on mushies starting Sunday. Wooooo hoooooo.
Mushies as my dietician explained is food. So if you make something and then dip a fork in, if it stays if it runs through the prongs it is liquid.
This consists of 6 half cup serves per day eg
- Breakfast 1 weetbix or a sachet of plain porridge on the fork it is food,
- mid morning, yoghurt with blended fruit (no passionfruit)
- Lunch, sandwich tuna and ricotta or casserole.
- mid afternoon, more fruit
- Dinner, curry, spag bols, etc
- supper, 1/2 mashed banana and custard.
- 2litres of fluid (no fruit juices)
The reason for the amounts is that my new little stomach is only about the size of an egg and if I have more to eat than 1/2 cup I can damage it. I also have to have a drink no more than 10 mins prior to eating and then not until 30 mins afterwards so that my meal isn't washed away.
I have to say my dietician is excellent although all my "visits" with him, have been done by phone. He really explains everything and why you need to do things at certain stages. He works in conjunction with the people at Foodtalk, developing the guidelines for banders around Australia.
Can't wait for this stage to start. It's our wedding anniversary on Monday so we are having a romantic dinner of curry and rice with banana and custard later. It is one busy week with daughter and her boyfriend also having their birthdays on Thursday and Saturday.
Until next mushies update..... bye.
I have to say my dietician is excellent although all my "visits" with him, have been done by phone. He really explains everything and why you need to do things at certain stages. He works in conjunction with the people at Foodtalk, developing the guidelines for banders around Australia.
Can't wait for this stage to start. It's our wedding anniversary on Monday so we are having a romantic dinner of curry and rice with banana and custard later. It is one busy week with daughter and her boyfriend also having their birthdays on Thursday and Saturday.
Until next mushies update..... bye.
4.30am and my alarm goes off. Time to get out of bed, have a shower with the surgery wash and get ready for my daughter to take me to the hospital. We didn't have to be there until 7am but it was a 40 minute drive plus Ipswich motorway into Brisbane is known for accidents and hold ups plus heavy workers traffic.
There had been a concern that I might not have even gotten to the hospital with floods we had the couple of days beforehand. But all was good and we ended up getting there 45 mins early.
We went to admissions where I had to pay the excess - I wonder if they get the money first in case something happens lol. Then someone came to take me to the pre operation section. She said that daughter wasn't allowed to come up even though I had been told she could stay with me until my op time at 10am.
This upset me a little bit and even had me thinking "was it too late to call it off". To make it worse the woman came back a few minutes later to say they had changed the rules and my daughter could stay, but by then it was too late as she had left. A lot of others in the area had people with them.
I sat there for 2 hours before seeing the anesthetist who came to take my history and explain what he would do. He was a really lovely guy. Really putting me at ease.
It was another half an hour before seeing the nurse to take all my details and take me thru to get changed. For some reason this section had thought I was getting done later so as I came out from getting changed they said I was next. Then they realized they hadn't had some blood work done that they were suppose to get done and I ended up having to wait around for that.
As soon as my blood work was done I was taken to the "holding" area in theatre. They checked who I was and what I was having done. The anesthetist came out to see me again and so did my surgeon. He asked if my hubby was there but I explained no he was at home and he said he would ring him after to tell him how it all went.
Into theatre we all went. Me with my beautiful white knee length stockings and ultra sexy hospital gown. Everyone else covered up with masks on - think I must of had bad breath lol.
I was connected to a few wires on my body, also a monitor on my forehead to say how under I was (have never had this with all the other ops I have had done), then iv in and off to sleep.
Next I woke up with the anesthetist calling my name and asking how much pain I was in from 1 to 10. I vaguely remember saying 8 and him giving me some pethadine. He also gave me a heparin injection to help with clotting. The nurses asked a few more times and gave more pethadine until I was down to under 5.
It was then a case of waiting until I had woken fully and I was taken to the ward. I had some splint type of things on my legs as well that pumped up and down with air to also stop clots. I dozed on and off for a while until a nurse came in with hubby on the phone. The doctor hadn't rung him and he and the kids were sitting at home worried as to what was happening.
The worse thing at this time is that your mouth is dry and all you want to do is wash it all out. Your not allowed anything for so long after the op but as soon as I could the nurses got me a damp washer and some ice..... Heaven!!!
When hubby arrived at the hospital at 7pm I was a lot more alert. I asked the nurse if I could sit up - from previous ops, I have found I cope a lot better sitting rather than lying. She was concerned about this and went and asked the nurse in charge who said it was fine. So between her and hubby I got up and sat in the chair. Oh did I mention I was also on oxygen all this time as well to get my stats up.
That night wasn't too bad. With the help of the nurse I was able to relieve pressure on my bum by half laying on my side with a pillow behind me. Although around 4am I did get and sit in the chair again and dozed a bit there.
The next day - Saturday - I was taken off the iv, oxygen and my lovely splints and taken off for a barium xray. This is to make sure the band is in the correct position and liquid can flow through it properly.
Until this test was done I wasn't allowed any fluids apart from water. My dietician had told me to take an optifast sachet in with me to have after this if I felt like something. He had also explained that often they will bring you food or even jelly to have but to refuse it all, as it's not allowed.
With the test done I could head home. Hubby came to pick me up. I can honestly say the most discomfort I was in, was that it felt like a bad stitch in your side. I was one of the lucky ones without all the shoulder tip pain, although I did get it slightly about 3 days later.
All toll I had 3 heparin injections and also came home with coloxyl to keep movements lose and no straining.
There had been a concern that I might not have even gotten to the hospital with floods we had the couple of days beforehand. But all was good and we ended up getting there 45 mins early.
We went to admissions where I had to pay the excess - I wonder if they get the money first in case something happens lol. Then someone came to take me to the pre operation section. She said that daughter wasn't allowed to come up even though I had been told she could stay with me until my op time at 10am.
This upset me a little bit and even had me thinking "was it too late to call it off". To make it worse the woman came back a few minutes later to say they had changed the rules and my daughter could stay, but by then it was too late as she had left. A lot of others in the area had people with them.
I sat there for 2 hours before seeing the anesthetist who came to take my history and explain what he would do. He was a really lovely guy. Really putting me at ease.
It was another half an hour before seeing the nurse to take all my details and take me thru to get changed. For some reason this section had thought I was getting done later so as I came out from getting changed they said I was next. Then they realized they hadn't had some blood work done that they were suppose to get done and I ended up having to wait around for that.
As soon as my blood work was done I was taken to the "holding" area in theatre. They checked who I was and what I was having done. The anesthetist came out to see me again and so did my surgeon. He asked if my hubby was there but I explained no he was at home and he said he would ring him after to tell him how it all went.
Into theatre we all went. Me with my beautiful white knee length stockings and ultra sexy hospital gown. Everyone else covered up with masks on - think I must of had bad breath lol.
I was connected to a few wires on my body, also a monitor on my forehead to say how under I was (have never had this with all the other ops I have had done), then iv in and off to sleep.
Next I woke up with the anesthetist calling my name and asking how much pain I was in from 1 to 10. I vaguely remember saying 8 and him giving me some pethadine. He also gave me a heparin injection to help with clotting. The nurses asked a few more times and gave more pethadine until I was down to under 5.
It was then a case of waiting until I had woken fully and I was taken to the ward. I had some splint type of things on my legs as well that pumped up and down with air to also stop clots. I dozed on and off for a while until a nurse came in with hubby on the phone. The doctor hadn't rung him and he and the kids were sitting at home worried as to what was happening.
The worse thing at this time is that your mouth is dry and all you want to do is wash it all out. Your not allowed anything for so long after the op but as soon as I could the nurses got me a damp washer and some ice..... Heaven!!!
When hubby arrived at the hospital at 7pm I was a lot more alert. I asked the nurse if I could sit up - from previous ops, I have found I cope a lot better sitting rather than lying. She was concerned about this and went and asked the nurse in charge who said it was fine. So between her and hubby I got up and sat in the chair. Oh did I mention I was also on oxygen all this time as well to get my stats up.
That night wasn't too bad. With the help of the nurse I was able to relieve pressure on my bum by half laying on my side with a pillow behind me. Although around 4am I did get and sit in the chair again and dozed a bit there.
The next day - Saturday - I was taken off the iv, oxygen and my lovely splints and taken off for a barium xray. This is to make sure the band is in the correct position and liquid can flow through it properly.
Until this test was done I wasn't allowed any fluids apart from water. My dietician had told me to take an optifast sachet in with me to have after this if I felt like something. He had also explained that often they will bring you food or even jelly to have but to refuse it all, as it's not allowed.
With the test done I could head home. Hubby came to pick me up. I can honestly say the most discomfort I was in, was that it felt like a bad stitch in your side. I was one of the lucky ones without all the shoulder tip pain, although I did get it slightly about 3 days later.
All toll I had 3 heparin injections and also came home with coloxyl to keep movements lose and no straining.
May 1st and I was all ready to go. I had bought my optifast, sugarless gum to chew, benefibre to have in shake.
I was allowed to have -
I was allowed to have -
- 3 optifast shakes a day - I was only allowed chocolate, vanilla or chicken soup
- 1 cup of berries no other fruit
- salad or vegetables from a restricted list
- jelly
- no milk, protein, carbs.
- diet cordial, diet drinks, plain mineral water
I stuck to the chocolate shakes as I had heard heaps of people say the vanilla was horrible and from previous experience with powered soups I wasn't game to try the soup.
I would have things like salad for lunch with a dressing of lemon and garlic on it, or my favourite salad of spinach leaves, bean sprouts, capsicum, mushroom and tomato with a dressing of soy, lime juice, garlic and chilli.
Dinner along with my shake I would have some soup that I had made up. I had to learn to like black tea so just had it and water for fluids of which I had to have 3 litres a day. It wasn't too bad just trying to keep the variety was the main thing.
I did have chicken a couple of times in that 3 weeks. My dietican had said if I was stuck out somewhere then to have protein.
I did vary the choc shakes from cold to warmed up as a hot chocolate. Someone sent me a chicken soup to try and boy can I tell you it was the most vial thing I have every tried lol. By the end of the 3 weeks I was very sick of chocolate though.
I had an appointment with the dietician again and he told me what to have after surgery. Best news I heard was that I could have any flavour shake by then wooo hoooo!!!
The day prior to surgery I didn't really eat much at all, as I was too nervous. I did however go and have my hair done and coloured just to feel good about myself and bring on the new me.
I would have things like salad for lunch with a dressing of lemon and garlic on it, or my favourite salad of spinach leaves, bean sprouts, capsicum, mushroom and tomato with a dressing of soy, lime juice, garlic and chilli.
Dinner along with my shake I would have some soup that I had made up. I had to learn to like black tea so just had it and water for fluids of which I had to have 3 litres a day. It wasn't too bad just trying to keep the variety was the main thing.
I did have chicken a couple of times in that 3 weeks. My dietican had said if I was stuck out somewhere then to have protein.
I did vary the choc shakes from cold to warmed up as a hot chocolate. Someone sent me a chicken soup to try and boy can I tell you it was the most vial thing I have every tried lol. By the end of the 3 weeks I was very sick of chocolate though.
I had an appointment with the dietician again and he told me what to have after surgery. Best news I heard was that I could have any flavour shake by then wooo hoooo!!!
The day prior to surgery I didn't really eat much at all, as I was too nervous. I did however go and have my hair done and coloured just to feel good about myself and bring on the new me.
Lapband 2
Just home from fill. Now you all know with me if something is going to go wrong it will haha.
Had appointment for 1.30 to have the fill done by x-ray. Go in and the Dr was held up coming from Gatton so was going to be 40 mins late. No big deal.
Anyway time comes and in I go. They put this metal disc on my stomach to get it over the center of the port. They couldn’t find their normal marker so just used a whiteboard one. She then gives a local to the area to numb it. See all is good so far.
She then puts the needle in and using x-ray make sure it is center of port, no worries. Then presses to put needle in. Stubborn thing didn’t want to go in and was bending over the port. After trying a few different things they finally get it in and insert the 5ml that the specialist wanted in. So far, so good.
They then stand me up with the machine and get me to take a mouthful of water, then another. Well it decided it wasn’t going anywhere. They then thought to give me some aniseed stuff to drink that would show up on the x-ray to see if it was going thru.
So here I am, standing on this tiny platform that when the table is flat makes up the bed end, with a cup of gunk in one hand and a sick bag that folds out in the other because that water couldn’t decide if it was going up or down.
I had a mouthful of the gunk and everyone (there was 3 in the room apart from me) stood watching it going up and down my esophagus. All were quite amazed, well that was all except for me who was standing there wanting to just let it all come up and over them. Every 30 seconds or so on the screen you would see this little squirt go thru the band. Looked a bit like an octopus expelling its ink.
After consultation between them all, they thought they would ring the specialist and see what he wanted to do. Well stupid man hadn’t written the instructions or explained things to me very well. Apparently from the operation there was 2ml in the band and he wanted it made up to 5ml.
He gave them 2 options, taking it out and starting again, or inserting the needle back in, while it was in stand me up to have a drink and withdraw fluid until whatever I was drinking was going thru properly. No one was comfortable with number 2 option so it was number 1. Only problem was the white board marker had rubbed off so having to start from scratch and while they withdrew all the fluid in the band it has all turned out a bit weird. They took all the fluid out and you would expect there to be 7 mls – the original 2 and the 5 today, but nooooooooo there was 9mls. So 5mls went back in and now I will just have to wait and see how I go. Lol.
Oh and because of standing up after the first go, the port moved to a different area so have 2 holes and Band-Aids on me haha.
Tomorrow at 1.30 I get my band tightened. Am getting very nervous about it. It will be the start of another new journey of discovery.
I have to go on a couple of days of liquid food, so back to optifast. Then it will be trial and error as to what foods I can eat. I can tell you that I will be very careful about what goes in my mouth as I hate throwing up.... yeah I know, too much info.
So stay turned to how I go when I finally have some fill in this band. lol.
I have to go on a couple of days of liquid food, so back to optifast. Then it will be trial and error as to what foods I can eat. I can tell you that I will be very careful about what goes in my mouth as I hate throwing up.... yeah I know, too much info.
So stay turned to how I go when I finally have some fill in this band. lol.
Well I was warned this would happen just before getting the band tightened and being able to eat more.... I have stayed the same.
Can't wait until Monday and getting the band tightened.
Now Peter went deep sea fishing yesterday and I have heaps of fish in the freezer now. I worked out one of the fish cooked up would do me for a whole week of meals twice a day haha.
Have I told you about wind before? Just can't remember. When you have the band you get more wind. You also get lots of intesional noises because your not eating as much, but the wind is the main thing. Now I am not talking about little sneaky farts or burps. NOOOOOOOOOO everyone within a 10 mile radius knows when you have expelled wind. I am sure I have seen the roof lift off the house at times lol.
Ok too much info, but this is my life haha.
Can't wait until Monday and getting the band tightened.
Now Peter went deep sea fishing yesterday and I have heaps of fish in the freezer now. I worked out one of the fish cooked up would do me for a whole week of meals twice a day haha.
Have I told you about wind before? Just can't remember. When you have the band you get more wind. You also get lots of intesional noises because your not eating as much, but the wind is the main thing. Now I am not talking about little sneaky farts or burps. NOOOOOOOOOO everyone within a 10 mile radius knows when you have expelled wind. I am sure I have seen the roof lift off the house at times lol.
Ok too much info, but this is my life haha.
I had the dietician this morning. Now that my band has had time to cement itself in place I can change my eating habits.
I now don’t have to just have ½ cup of food. I can have around a cup. I am to have the following: -
4 serves bread/cereals
1 serve starchy veggies (2 cups others)
3 fruit serves
1 ½ dairy
1 protein
1 other.
The other is things like butter, margarine, 3 hot chips, 3 squares chocolate, etc a day. Or I can have it as 7 serves on 1 day a week.
He is happy with my weight loss. I have been a bit ho hum about it the last few days, as its stopped atm and I just want it moving down lol.
He has given me a list of problem food: - fresh bread, skin on fruit, carrots and corn, steak, el dente pasta etc that I might not be able to tolerate. Its all trial and error as to what goes down and what doesn’t.
After my fill he said the hole the food goes thru is around 5mm so that is how fine food must be chewed.
This year I did a course in mindfulness. One part of that was doing Shibashi, which I really enjoyed. I haven’t been able to get a DVD of it at the moment so got a Tai Chi one instead.
Now anyone that tells you this is a gentle, easy exercise is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO wrong. Haha. 18 minutes of it (that’s how long the exercises on it goes for) is much more physically demanding that 30 or 40 minutes on the treadmill.
To be honest, they aren’t hard to do and are gentle on your body since there are no jumping or fast movements. But doing things slow and controlled is a lot harder. I do enjoy it though but have to remember with both it and the treadmill to warm up properly. My back is giving me grief of a morning now.
On the food side, I can say I think the swelling on my band has gone down as when I have my ½ cup of food for a meal I am hungry again not long after. Have the dietician on Tuesday and only a week tomorrow until my fill. Woohooo.
I am also thinking of changing surgeons for the fills. With mine I just haven’t been happy with him since the op. He told me he would ring Peter to let him know how the op went and didn’t, he was suppose to come and see me the day after the op in hospital for discharge and didn’t, just rang and said to them to send me home. When I had my post op appointment he was 2 ½ hours late – I don’t have a problem with that – but everyone was then just given around 5 minutes to see him. It was rush in, felt my stomach, didn’t even look at my scars until I said could he look at one that I was concerned about. Weighed me and gave me the form to go to the x-ray place to get my fill in 3 weeks and come back in 3 months. We had no chance to really ask any questions and in fact were asking some as we were being escorted to the door. I think I will give him one more chance and if I am not happy with it change. Others that I know that have been to him haven’t had this problem.
Well finding out what things just don't seem to agree and plonk themselves in my stomach.
Store bought lasagne. Not enough meat sauce and it just sat like a lead balloon.
Chicken skin. One way to make sure you take the skin off haha.
Otherwise things aren't going too bad. Struggling with doing the exercise. Think I need an exercise buddy or buddies to do it with me so I have to do it. Am going to do some tai chi today though. I really enjoy it.
Oh and looky ^^^^ 17 kgs since May 1st, not too shabby hey. :)
Store bought lasagne. Not enough meat sauce and it just sat like a lead balloon.
Chicken skin. One way to make sure you take the skin off haha.
Otherwise things aren't going too bad. Struggling with doing the exercise. Think I need an exercise buddy or buddies to do it with me so I have to do it. Am going to do some tai chi today though. I really enjoy it.
Oh and looky ^^^^ 17 kgs since May 1st, not too shabby hey. :)
Guilt is a very powerful emotion.
For years I have had guilt over Ryan having DMD. The mother passes it on and even though I never knew I was a carrier, it doesn’t stop the guilt.
So you end up punishing yourself in a way that others would find hard to understand. No one wants to bury his or her child, so you almost sabotage your own life so that you go first.
I did this in so many ways – not looking after my health, which in turn kept me on steroids for 20 years, which didn’t help weight issues and of course emotional eating.
To start this journey I had to forgive myself, as much as I could. I had to accept that, no it wasn’t my fault but a cruel twist of nature that gave us this life. I had to acknowledge that I wanted to be here for my other 2 children to see them grow, get married and have children – if that is where their life takes them.
And while doing all that, I then have to try and learn to be selfish.
Our van broke yet again this week. It is an ex taxi and we have had it for 10 years, so its done over a million kms. We have always been able to coax it back to working again. Buying a new van isn’t an option with hubby only working casually due to needing to help with Ryan. We would never be able to get a loan.
Well yesterday, again saw me in tears. Guilt that we had spent this money on me to have this surgery, when we so desperately need a new van and the money could of gone towards that. I know that no one else would ever say they blame me for that, but its how I feel.
Luckily enough an auto electrician friend was able to find the problem and get it going, but with the news that all the wiring has had it and needs replacing. Thank God he found it and was able to get it going.
So this is something else for me to work through. I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster at the moment. Its not just different eating habits you have to deal with, it’s all this other crap as well.
Anyone that tells you that this is an easy way out is lying. You eat 1-½ cups of food a day. So you try and make them as interesting as you can with so little, all the while trying to get all the nutrients your body needs. Well really its only a cup a day you try to make interesting, the other ½ cup is porridge which is never interesting haha. Throw on some emotional issues and wow, what a journey!!
I think the scales were trying to trick me the other day. I weighed myself yesterday and today and I am at 148.3kg so have lost a lot more than it was trying to have me think lol. Maybe it was to get me on the treadmill more lol.
Speaking of the treadmill, I had thought in the year that I have had it that grade 4 was the steepest hill it went up. Noooooooooo it goes up to grade 12 hill. OMG talk about burning legs and heart rate going up haha. In 2 mins at it going 2kms an hour - yep I only have short legs - I went from 124 to 148 pulse rate. Then 1 mins rest and then 2 mins at 3 kms an hour - nearly a jog for me haha. Kept that up for half an hour alternating.
Still have a couple of stitches still to go. Annoying things as they keep catching on my bra. But the good thing is that I have to keep pulling up the pants I have on atm. Bad thing is that about Feb/March I had decided not to keep any clothes I didn't fit in as it was a waste of space in the cupboard and threw them all out. I now have no warm clothes and refuse to go and buy any.
Food wise I am having a bit more chunks in it. It just takes ages to eat the 1/2 cup. Fish or chicken and veggies have me taking about 45 mins to an hour with all the chewing I have to do.
But its all worthwhile in the long run. :)
Speaking of the treadmill, I had thought in the year that I have had it that grade 4 was the steepest hill it went up. Noooooooooo it goes up to grade 12 hill. OMG talk about burning legs and heart rate going up haha. In 2 mins at it going 2kms an hour - yep I only have short legs - I went from 124 to 148 pulse rate. Then 1 mins rest and then 2 mins at 3 kms an hour - nearly a jog for me haha. Kept that up for half an hour alternating.
Still have a couple of stitches still to go. Annoying things as they keep catching on my bra. But the good thing is that I have to keep pulling up the pants I have on atm. Bad thing is that about Feb/March I had decided not to keep any clothes I didn't fit in as it was a waste of space in the cupboard and threw them all out. I now have no warm clothes and refuse to go and buy any.
Food wise I am having a bit more chunks in it. It just takes ages to eat the 1/2 cup. Fish or chicken and veggies have me taking about 45 mins to an hour with all the chewing I have to do.
But its all worthwhile in the long run. :)
Well weight loss has slowed but then thats to be expected. In 5 days I have lost .8 kg. Its still heading south so thats good.
My date for my first fill has changed to 29th June so 2 weeks Monday.
I had cruskits yesterday and they were yum, with some tuna tempters and riccotta cheese.
I have updated photos to a new page. Please click on the link above to view them and Please rate my site as well.
Thanks :)
My date for my first fill has changed to 29th June so 2 weeks Monday.
I had cruskits yesterday and they were yum, with some tuna tempters and riccotta cheese.
I have updated photos to a new page. Please click on the link above to view them and Please rate my site as well.
Thanks :)
Been really good doing the exercise. Have only missed one day since last Saturday. Am mixing it up a bit on the treadmill e.g. doing 2 mins at grade 4 hill, 1 min at just walk, 2 mins at fast walk, 1 min at slow walk. It makes the time go a lot quicker. Not starting on my hand weights and stretchy band yet.
Have 2 dissolvable stitches still in. Wish they would bloody go as they are in bad spots and really annoying since they sort of catch on clothing.
Had a small piece of grilled fish for dinner tonight. Think I have to remember to have some sort of sauce with it. It was chew 32 times, then another 32 then some more. Took me an hour to eat it haha. Imagine being out with friends and taking that long lol.
Tomorrow I start on cruskits so slowly going to move towards more normal food.
Ops you have to hold on, as I am off to get a coffee.
Ahhhhh that’s better!!!
Don't know if I mentioned this before or not but when I eat I am to have a drink prior, then take 1/2 hr to eat then wait 1/2 hour before having a drink so as not to wash the food thru. Well taking so long to eat tonight I was hanging out for a drink.
Am on decaf at home atm but the other day while waiting for the dr I had a cappuccino. OMG to die for. So will now have to get in touch with people I have promised to meet up with for coffee haha.
And I really want to thank everyone for their support while I go thru this journey :)
Have 2 dissolvable stitches still in. Wish they would bloody go as they are in bad spots and really annoying since they sort of catch on clothing.
Had a small piece of grilled fish for dinner tonight. Think I have to remember to have some sort of sauce with it. It was chew 32 times, then another 32 then some more. Took me an hour to eat it haha. Imagine being out with friends and taking that long lol.
Tomorrow I start on cruskits so slowly going to move towards more normal food.
Ops you have to hold on, as I am off to get a coffee.
Ahhhhh that’s better!!!
Don't know if I mentioned this before or not but when I eat I am to have a drink prior, then take 1/2 hr to eat then wait 1/2 hour before having a drink so as not to wash the food thru. Well taking so long to eat tonight I was hanging out for a drink.
Am on decaf at home atm but the other day while waiting for the dr I had a cappuccino. OMG to die for. So will now have to get in touch with people I have promised to meet up with for coffee haha.
And I really want to thank everyone for their support while I go thru this journey :)
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