Laying in bed last night in a world of pain from my back, I as usual had thoughts of what I should write running through my head. I figured that perhaps before I drop dead, I should write about my kids and tell you about how amazing they are.
Ryan.
As much as I can sometimes complain about Ryan, he is a very remarkable young man. Ryan survives through life by setting goals. There are things he wants to achieve and makes sure he is getting to do them.
Ryan hates to lose control. I guess it comes from having to rely on people for so many things. If you don't do it the way that makes him feel safe, he will soon let you know. But then, when it comes to things that terrify me - Brisbane's wheel for example - he has no fear in doing that.
His carers are often amazed at the wide range of topics that Ryan knows about. He is very social and sees the good in people.
Ryan is very much like his father. I guess that is why they clash so much. But for all their fighting, Ryan really cares about his dad. He will voice to others, the worry that he has over the strain of us caring for him.
Ryan knows what medical intervention he wants in his life, and no one will change his mind, if he doesn't want to.
He loves his family and ends every day when going to sleep by saying "Night mum, love you'.
Jade.
As much as Jade will hate to hear this, she is the most like me.
Jade loves to organize. It doesn't matter if it is work or home, she will be there. Instead of delegating, she finds it easier to 'just do it herself' so it is done right. This in turn leads to her burning out but never admitting it and needing to soldier on.
Jade will tend to go into 'mother-mode', if she thinks you need looking after. She also tries hard to make everyone happy, sometimes to her own detriment. Jade needs to feel needed, but hates feeling needy.
She is scared of what life may hold with loved ones and will find it better to ignore what is happening until confronted face on with it.
Jade will tell you that she doesn't like kids. The truth is, that she was at her happiest when teaching young children to dance. She would come home with tales of how cute this one was, or funny stories that happened in class. Her whole being would light up, as would she when she was performing.
Learning to take time for herself and to stop and smell the roses before life passes her by, would be a good goal for Jade.
Troy.
While Ryan is my outgoing take to everyone child, Jade is my I'm here one, Troy is my quiet sensitive one.
Troy has always hated any attention on him. I think with two big personalities for a brother and sister, he has shied away from that side of things.
Troy was always the adventurer. He was my climber, the one to jump his bike, ride a motorbike and always confident he could do anything.
He will never show his feelings, which has led to me worrying about him the most. If he is upset or hurt, he will retreat to his room and that is the only sign you have.
It also works for how Troy feels about you. His feelings are shown more by his actions. He will do without something he really wants, if you need an item. This he has done with family and friends.
To give an example of the depth of Troy's feelings is to tell stories of him and Ryan. Ryan gave Troy a silver ingot for one of his birthdays - I think it was his 13th. Troy is never without it around his neck. Plus how many brothers would get the others portrait tattooed on them, so they are always with you.
We have often joked over the years about Troy's bubble. In this bubble is Troy and whatever is important to him at the time and the rest of the world goes on outside of it without impacting on him.
My kids have grown up to be wonderful young adults. Many that have had to live through what they have, are not so well adjusted. Jade and Troy have wonderful work ethics and will step in to help, if ever we needed them to.
I am so very proud of them and glad to call them mine.
