Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Losing weight, giving up smoking and more.

I have now decided I need a waterproof notebook in the shower so when ideas come into my head to write about I can jot them down lol.

How often have you or others you know said "I need to stop smoking" or "I want to lose weight" or "I am going to start my diet"? Heaps I am sure. I know because I was one of these people. And while you say these words, it will not happen.

Now I can hear you thinking to yourself, that plenty of people have said this and its happened. Have they really? Have they really used THOSE words?

I smoked for 32 years. For years I said "I need to stop smoking". I also did the 'setting a date to stop'. I tried the patches, gum, hypnosis etc. And it didn't work.

For years my weight kept going up and I kept saying I had to do something about it. I tried Jenny Craig, Gloria Marshall, dietitians, fad diets, quick start diet (can never eat soup with celery again after this one) and set dates to start and none of it worked.

Now its not just diets or smoking that this applies to, its doing exercise, cleaning cupboards, gardening etc. Anything in life.

You will not achieve these things until you change how you say things and mean it.

For smoking, I woke up one day and said 'I don't want to smoke any more and am not going to'. Now I am not saying it was easy, and even now, nearly 6 years later, I still can get the craving for it. But I made the decision of 'I am not going to do this' and that made it easier.

For losing weight, yes I got the lap band, but it was 'that I am going to lose weight and this is the tool I am going to use'. I knew that it meant that I would have to stop having bread, cake, steak, soft drink  etc but again it was the 'I do not want to have them' thinking that I used.

Now to get to this way of thinking is not as easy as it might appear. Normally there is a reason why the change happens.

For smoking, it was knowing that if I kept smoking I wouldn't be around to share my kids lives with them. I wanted to see them grow older, get married and have kids. I was sick of being sick with chest infections, asthma and everything else going around. So I said I am not going to smoke any more and didn't.

With losing weight, it was embarrassment/shame and forgiving. I was embarrassed about my size and having to get clothes made. When I had the fall, I was embarrassed thinking of how they would have to get the fire brigade in to lift me (well they probably wouldn't have had to do that, but at the time that's how I was thinking). For the forgiving, it was that I could forgive myself for Ryan having DMD. That it wasn't my fault and that if the order of parent passing before child didn't happen, then that was okay and it is how our life is meant to be. I was able to get to this thinking with the help of a psychologist. I wasn't seeing her for weight management, but for grief counselling.

When you see professionals for help with these things, you are normally seeing someone who has never smoked or been overweight. They will give you plans to follow to break the addiction. How many though deal with what is behind why this is a hold on you. If you deal with that, then you are able to finally say 'I am not going to do this' and until you can say this, you will not make it happen.

You have to deal with things in order. You wouldn't get dressed then have a shower, would you? So deal with the underlying problem first, then the rest will fall into place for you. It won't be easy but if it is truly what you want, it is worth it.