Wow what a year!!
This year has been one of many experiences and journey into finding myself again. While this time last year I had made the resolution to do things rather than say I wanted to. I never thought that so much would be accomplished. Turning 50 surely was a great year.
Holidays - So we went on a cruise, which was so magically and I can't wait to go on another. If you haven't experienced one, do yourself a favour and go. The food was divine the shows were first class and the other passengers and crew were so friendly.
That was April and May saw us go for two weeks to the Sunshine Coast. I love it here and most of all loved catching up with great friends. If I won lotto, I would buy the apartment and live there permanently. While up there, I was surprised by Jade coming for Mother's Day, which was lovely to spend time with her, even if it was just for one day. We went up to Maleny and finally got to visit the cheese factory that for years I have said I was going to.
November was our week down the coast. While it is nice to visit the Gold Coast, I certainly wouldn't want to live there. It is too busy for me.
Now when I saw the psychic, she told me there would be 3 holidays in a 6 week period. Well we had a night at the Gold Coast for Ryan's Jades 21st, then our week there and in that time I also bought Peter's Xmas present, which is 2 nights at Mt Tamborine. So I guess all that counts.
House - I have spent a lot of time this year doing gardens around the house. It has been great, designing and planting and even better when you can eat the fruits of your labour. It has given me a great place to release any tensions and overall just something different to do. When I am in the kitchen looking out at the moment, I can see the vines of melons growing what looks like wild in the garden. I look and thing 'I grew them from seed'. It gives you a great glow inside.
I have also spent a lot of time, minimizing. Apart from giving me money to do other things I want to get done, it also feels good to have a clean out of crap you don't need any more.
Cooking - Wow where to start? This year I have done classes in pasta, cannoli, crème brullee, profiteroles, Asian dishes, Easy Christmas, vegetarian and demos at the Good food and wine festival. I was chosen to cook with Jamie Oliver, which was exciting. Most things I cook now are from scratch instead of using bought sauces or dressings etc. The family is really enjoying this new style of cooking and I am enjoying it all as well. As I tell everyone, I don't do anything that is hard, but have learnt how to do everything easy that can impress guests haha.
Family - A lot has happened with family this year. Troy has moved back home, which I love having him here. He has his own business and it is thriving and he has a great reputation with it. I am so proud of the young man he has become. Ryan, while he has lost a lot of weight which is a concern, is doing really well. He is back playing sport and enjoying it. I think sometimes he worries more about us than we do about him. Jade is constantly working, but the club is benefiting with the functions it is holding and catering for. It is one thing that I am so glad of with my kids: they all have great work values. Peter has stopped his job with the newsagency after 15 years or so. No more getting up at 2.30/3 am. He now just works for someone painting his rental homes. And the saint that he is, still putting up with my moods.
Friends - I have the best friends! I know that those I call close friends, can be called any time day or night if I needed and I hope they know that the same applies if they need to call me. I was lucky enough to see so many of them this year that don't live close. I did have a couple of set backs where my judgement of people took a battering and I started to doubt how I saw people and who I could trust, but it is all good now - well I hope so. :)
As you look back on the year, the things that gave grief just seem to fade away and only the good memories remain. I am hoping that I can continue to keep pushing my boundaries and experiencing new things in the future.
I can't finish without thanking my wonderful family for their support, even though they tell everyone I am doubly crazy as I am on two anti depressants haha. While I don't like to single out people, these friends are there and have listened to my rantings and supported me so much and more than I could ever say. So to Jan, Veronica, Colleen and Kerrie, please accept my heartfelt thank you for just being there and being yourselves and for me being able to call you all my friend xxx.
I hope that all my friends get to live your dreams in 2013 and that it is one of happiness and good health for you all and I look forward to reading and hearing about what adventures you are undertaking as the year progresses.
Sunday 30 December 2012
Friday 16 November 2012
Dream renovation
Do you ever have a dream that is a continuation of another dream? I do and while it is very rare, it happened this week.
Ages ago I had a dream that we bought this house that needed a heap of renovations done to it. It was almost like an old castle. So much character to it. It had 4 levels - yes it was HUGE.
The walls were a grey stone, but the steps leading up to the front door, were more what you would find for a modern hardy plank home. They were in need of a lot of repair and very unstable. The inside of the main entry floor, was a heap of small rooms, that were really nothing rooms. A lot of walls needed to be knocked down for it to be truly liveable.
We really only used the top 3 floors. We were able to renovate them into a very regal look. Lots of burgundy carpet, with very wide sweeping staircases and heavy drapes. The kitchen was huge and old timber with a couple of walk in pantries. The inside was just magic.
Outside though was a different story. The yard was bare, the grass was dying and the driveway was pot-holed dirt. Weeds grew out from the foundations and it really gave the feeling of despair.
Now the bottom level was one we never ventured into. It was cold and damp. There were a lot of books lining it that were dusty and mouldy. A lot of the books were first edition. There was also some sort of entity in there that scared the bejeebers out of us. Going in there you got this creepy feeling of someone watching you and following you around. Your spine would tingle and hairs stand on end and butterflies would be going berserk in your stomach. I couldn't get out of there fast enough and so we decided never to go in there again.
In my second dream, it was the same house, with looks and feelings. Troy had moved home and the 3 stories with a monstrous amount of room was feeling too small haha. Then Jade said she was going to move home and we went into a panic as to where to put everyone. It didn't matter that we had about twelve bedrooms, we just wanted everyone to be happy.
We made the hard decision to convert the bottom floor into a granny flat for Jade. One part of it was not too bad and we easily installed a kitchen and bed and had it looking very much like a loft area. It had its own door out to the side of the house, so that privacy for coming and goings was available.
I was extremely happy with the way that it looked, but there was still that creepy feeling in the other part of it. I would stand looking at the loft area with the books behind me, and my spine would tingle. I knew I had to get brave and clear it all out.
I got the kids to bring in some boxes and said we would start to pack up the books. As we started on the first row, something really strange happened. Behind them was not the rows of books that had been there the first time we went down. Instead there were rows and rows of extremely high warehouse type shelving. On all the shelves were all the toys the kids had when they were younger - although in real life they weren't.
Looking at all the toys, I was flooded with memories of their childhood and the fun they had. Tears came to my eyes as I looked around and thought of the time wasted in this house because of fear of this area, when it could of brought me so much happiness.
I didn't know how they had gotten there and we thought maybe the removalists had put them in when we moved in. There was so much Thomas stuff it was unbelievable. Toys like you would find in a public park - swings, rockets, etc. It was a treasure trove of memories.
It was also the answer to us being able to sell these items off and get out of debt and finish the house on the outside. The items you could never buy now and for some reason were one of a kind.
So that is just one of my dreams that have a continuation, what are yours?
Ages ago I had a dream that we bought this house that needed a heap of renovations done to it. It was almost like an old castle. So much character to it. It had 4 levels - yes it was HUGE.
The walls were a grey stone, but the steps leading up to the front door, were more what you would find for a modern hardy plank home. They were in need of a lot of repair and very unstable. The inside of the main entry floor, was a heap of small rooms, that were really nothing rooms. A lot of walls needed to be knocked down for it to be truly liveable.
We really only used the top 3 floors. We were able to renovate them into a very regal look. Lots of burgundy carpet, with very wide sweeping staircases and heavy drapes. The kitchen was huge and old timber with a couple of walk in pantries. The inside was just magic.
Outside though was a different story. The yard was bare, the grass was dying and the driveway was pot-holed dirt. Weeds grew out from the foundations and it really gave the feeling of despair.
Now the bottom level was one we never ventured into. It was cold and damp. There were a lot of books lining it that were dusty and mouldy. A lot of the books were first edition. There was also some sort of entity in there that scared the bejeebers out of us. Going in there you got this creepy feeling of someone watching you and following you around. Your spine would tingle and hairs stand on end and butterflies would be going berserk in your stomach. I couldn't get out of there fast enough and so we decided never to go in there again.
In my second dream, it was the same house, with looks and feelings. Troy had moved home and the 3 stories with a monstrous amount of room was feeling too small haha. Then Jade said she was going to move home and we went into a panic as to where to put everyone. It didn't matter that we had about twelve bedrooms, we just wanted everyone to be happy.
We made the hard decision to convert the bottom floor into a granny flat for Jade. One part of it was not too bad and we easily installed a kitchen and bed and had it looking very much like a loft area. It had its own door out to the side of the house, so that privacy for coming and goings was available.
I was extremely happy with the way that it looked, but there was still that creepy feeling in the other part of it. I would stand looking at the loft area with the books behind me, and my spine would tingle. I knew I had to get brave and clear it all out.
I got the kids to bring in some boxes and said we would start to pack up the books. As we started on the first row, something really strange happened. Behind them was not the rows of books that had been there the first time we went down. Instead there were rows and rows of extremely high warehouse type shelving. On all the shelves were all the toys the kids had when they were younger - although in real life they weren't.
Looking at all the toys, I was flooded with memories of their childhood and the fun they had. Tears came to my eyes as I looked around and thought of the time wasted in this house because of fear of this area, when it could of brought me so much happiness.
I didn't know how they had gotten there and we thought maybe the removalists had put them in when we moved in. There was so much Thomas stuff it was unbelievable. Toys like you would find in a public park - swings, rockets, etc. It was a treasure trove of memories.
It was also the answer to us being able to sell these items off and get out of debt and finish the house on the outside. The items you could never buy now and for some reason were one of a kind.
So that is just one of my dreams that have a continuation, what are yours?
Saturday 10 November 2012
Good Food and Wine Festival
As I write this tonight I am tired, but it is a good tired from having had a great day out. I got to cross another item off of my 50 things to do list. I went to the Brisbane Good food and wine festival with Veronica.
Arriving at the show prior to it opening, we were lucky enough to be in part of a line that got to be head of the line at another door. From when we entered, we only had about 15 mins before we had to line up to the first thing we were booked into. This meant we had just a quick look around and scored some free marinades from Masterfoods and then went and lined up.
The extra show I had booked us into, was Miguel Maestre. It was a cooking demo with 3 course meal with matching wines and a goodie bag, chock full of lovely stuff to take home. He showed us how to make duck liver pate (which I had never tried before, but didn't mind this one), beetroot cured salmon and olive oil shortbread that was to die for. I decided that I am not going to buy shortbread this xmas but make this recipe. Fingers crossed it turns out, because it was one of the best I have ever tried.
Miguel was funny and informative and so glad we got into his show.
Read 50 books in the year. Doesn't matter what type but as long as its 50 and I will be able to keep track with my new kindle.
2. Do another cooking class. At least 1 but hopefully 2.
3.Go on a holiday, hopefully to Melbourne. Had a couple of holidays, didn't get to Melbourne, but there is always next year.
4. Go to a horse 'cup' day
5. Go down another 20kgs Need to have another fill, so this one is moved to next year as well
6. Get a lot more writing from my autobiography done - Been doing heaps of that
7.Have lunch or dinner at Bretts wharf or Aria Brisbane - While I didn't get to either of these, I have had some amazing meals by great chefs this year, so class it as done
8. Go through the glow worm caves at Springbrook hopefully when the glow fungi is out as well or the fireflies
9. Do a charity event - with not a lot of walking
10. Have a tarot reading
11. Go to a musical (booked for Jersey Boys in July)
12. Go to gold class movie
13. Go on a cruise - booked and leaving in April
14. Get a fish - either fighter or gold fish or two.
15. Go to a zoo
16. Go to brisbane city markets
17. Brisbane's koala and river cruise
18. Toowoomba carnival of flowers
19. Attend a dawn service
20. Go to Q1 lookout - have my ticket and going in November
21. Get my bonsai started
22. crystal castle at mullumbimby
23. finish a crocheted rug. I start them all the time, just never finish
24. have a facial
25. have a massage
26. try a new food
27. aqua aerobics classes.
28. be part of a flash mob - now where does someone find these people
29. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring.
30. Get family tree in order - got heaps of this done
31. Go on a retreat
32. Go to the comedy club
33. Play blackjack at the casino
34. Swim in the ocean - haven't done this for many many years
35. Go to an opera or listen or an opera singer While not done this year. As someone pointed out the Pirates of Penzance was an opera and I had been to that lol
36. Spend a night at maleny/montville
37. Hold a snake - to overcome a fear
38. Attend the good food festival
39. feed the homeless - (contacted agencies but none have gotten back to me yet)
40. do a belly dancing class
41. try a new drink tried lots of new ones now lol
42. queen mary falls walk
43. drink a cocktail done and dusted
44. host a murder mystery dinner party
45. Put $5 a day into money box -
46. Have a games night with friends
47. Put $50 on black at the casino for my first and only bet at the table. and won
48. Trike ride from Gold Coast to Mt Tambourine wineries
49. Ride on a carousel
50. Have a kick arse birthday party
Arriving at the show prior to it opening, we were lucky enough to be in part of a line that got to be head of the line at another door. From when we entered, we only had about 15 mins before we had to line up to the first thing we were booked into. This meant we had just a quick look around and scored some free marinades from Masterfoods and then went and lined up.
The extra show I had booked us into, was Miguel Maestre. It was a cooking demo with 3 course meal with matching wines and a goodie bag, chock full of lovely stuff to take home. He showed us how to make duck liver pate (which I had never tried before, but didn't mind this one), beetroot cured salmon and olive oil shortbread that was to die for. I decided that I am not going to buy shortbread this xmas but make this recipe. Fingers crossed it turns out, because it was one of the best I have ever tried.
Miguel was funny and informative and so glad we got into his show.
I guess not too many people get to drink wine at 10.30 in the morning with a 3 course meal lol. But Gaanz, you would be proud of me. I tried the red and didn't mind it lol. The wines in order of service with meal were - Peter Lehmann 2010 Art Series Shiraz Grenache, Peter Lehmann 2012 Art Series Rose and Peter Lehmann 2012 Art Series Moscato (this one we ordered later on in the day for home delivery).
After this we started to work out way up and down the isles. We came across the Cuisinart display. They had the icecream/sorbet/frozen yoghurt maker that I have been looking at buying for around $50 less than I have seen it. So I shouted myself a pretty pink one. We got them to hold it for later pickup and oh, it came with a free knife as well.
We went to Maggie Beer's stall and got her show bag, which included a free icecream. Veronica got the burnt fig, honeycomb and caramel one, I wasn't too fussed on it. I got the passionfruit, which was so yummy. Her show bag included Verjuice, barossa tomato sauce and apricot paste.
The day was spent trying different foods - some we liked and others we didn't. Trying liqueur's and liking Feeney's Creme Brulee liqueur. If you have never tried it, white chocolate rocky road. I bought some of this to bring home. At the kikkoman stand, they had samples of things they had made up using soy sauce. This sounds really weird, but boy it was good. As a filling in little tart shells or chocolate cases - melted white chocolate, thickened cream and a touch of soy sauce.
We tried yoghurts and cheeses, salami's and noodles. There was one stall that was very much a 'why would you' type of product. Super sprout. Now looking at this stall, I was thinking they had maybe found a new 'super' product. Something along the lines of olive leaf extract etc. They had all these jars of thinks like carrot extract, beetroot extract and other extracts such as apple, broccolli sprout, ginger etc. Now what this product is, is the food dehydrated into a powder form and you can then add them to yoghurt, liquids etc. Yes I know you are asking what I did.... why? Well it is because people might not eat these foods and the woman gave the example of her brother that had lapband and could only eat liquids - totally wrong of lapband proceedure, but I let her tell her story. This powder can give you all the vitamins and fibre of the real food, but without you having to eat a whole apple etc.
I asked how much you would take for daily intake and the answer was - whatever you would like, your body will just get rid of the excess. Hmmm not really something I think I would use, but I did get some samples to try. I am thinking of serving Peter up a steak with a teaspoon of each on a plate. Do you think he will like that???? haha
In the afternoon we went and saw Ainsley Harriott. What a funny, funny man. His style of cooking is very much the same as Jamie Oliver, in the 'throw everything together' type of method. He made crispy chicken thighs with savoury puy lentils ragout and a blueberry cheesecake and a goats cheese salad.
Ainsley came out, got changed on stage into a more comfy shirt and went onto entertain us. He has a very girly giggle that sent the crowd into fits of laughter. He danced while whisking and cooking and he was someone you could sit and watch all day. It was just a shame that it couldn't have been longer.
So after this it was more browsing and buying. By the time we left, my car boot was chocker block full. With so many free things that we got, I have oils, marinades, so many samples to try, cookbooks that were being handed out and so much more. I can't wait to try out some of the things I learnt today.
Out of 50, I have 19 that I haven't done yet on my list. Over November and December, I know that I will be doing at least 6 of them. So with only 13 not done, I think that will be great :)
1. 3.
5. Go down another 20kgs Need to have another fill, so this one is moved to next year as well
7.
8. Go through the glow worm caves at Springbrook hopefully when the glow fungi is out as well or the fireflies
1
15. Go to a zoo
17. Brisbane's koala and river cruise
1
20. Go to Q1 lookout - have my ticket and going in November
21. Get my bonsai started
22. crystal castle at mullumbimby
28. be part of a flash mob - now where does someone find these people
29. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring.
31. Go on a retreat
34. Swim in the ocean - haven't done this for many many years
36. Spend a night at maleny/montville
37. Hold a snake - to overcome a fear
39. feed the homeless - (contacted agencies but none have gotten back to me yet)
40. do a belly dancing class
42. queen mary falls walk
46. Have a games night with friends
48. Trike ride from Gold Coast to Mt Tambourine wineries
49. Ride on a carousel
Friday 9 November 2012
How not to buy a car.
Finally, I have a new car. It has been a process that has taken nearly 4 weeks. I am sure people think I make stuff up, but really who could make up this shit haha.
It all started about 2 months ago. My car was on its last legs and it was too low for me to get in and out of with my back. We had seen a few a car yards, but none that really grabbed me. I had been out on the Wednesday night to Brisbane and my air con decided not to work. Fed up, I spent the next morning online looking at cars. I found one at Ross Llewellyn Motors and decided to go and have a look at it.
We were served by a young 20 year old Andrew. We got to take the car for a drive and I was happy with it. The seat height was great for me and it wasn't white (I don't like white cars).
Now when you buy a car these days from a car yard, it isn't like it was the last time we did - oh about 25 years ago. You have to see the sales guy, who then gets in the woman that overseas it all, then you have to see the finance officer. The woman Chezza who oversees it all, told us about the extended warrantee that we could take out and that it also had roadside assist in it, so you wouldn't need RACQ. She said that if we wanted it, to let the finance officer know.
Next came the beginning of the headache. We saw the finance officer, who looked up the rate for the loan and told us how much it would be. We asked how much it would be to include the extra insurance and yes we could afford that, so asked her to include it. She wrote down what we needed to have the loan processed and told us she wouldn't be in the following day.
We raced home, got together pay slips from one of Peter's bosses, got the other to write a letter with what he earnt, bank statements, centrelink statements etc and dropped them back. Over the next two weeks, we played a cat and mouse came of trying to get the information in a form that was acceptable to the finance officer - and some info she gave us I found to be incorrect eg as in things Peter's other boss was doing. She said it was illegal but in fact it wasn't. Because she wasn't in a lot, it dragged things out. I would have to copy and email things to her and instead of just doing a quick 'thanks' in reply, I wouldn't know if she had it or not. I was starting to feel like I was stalking her, when I had to ring all the time to see if she got things and what was happening.
It turned out that the first company said no to finance, the second that they deal with, she had rung and said they said a conditional yes. That was on a Monday. I asked how long before we knew for sure as my rego was due on the Friday. We didn't want to pay it, as they were only giving us $500 trade in for it. She told me that we should be able to pick up the car on the Friday, all going well.
Well Friday came and still no word from her. Someone else rang us, as she was out of the office again, and told us that no it didn't go through. They asked permission to send it to the broker they used. I said yes, but had a feeling of dread. They told me that the broker would be in touch either later that day or the Saturday. I didn't hear from them.
A friend had called in who does do money lending. Normally it is on the scale of home loans but he offered to do up a loan for us. I said no to start with as he was a friend. After talking some more and with it being done not as a friendship but a business transaction, I said yes for him to think about what he could offer us. In the end, I decided not to go with him, so that the blur of friendship and business didn't cross.
Anyway on the Monday the broker rang. He was confident that he could get us the loan. He said he had a copy of our credit history and it was good with no negatives on it. He said that the second company the car yard tried and had the conditional approval on, is not one he would of even considered, as they won't touch anyone with even the slightest centrelink payment. He asked a heap of questions and emailed some forms through to sign.
By that afternoon, I was really down and fed up with the whole process. I could only see him ringing to say no to us. I ended up ringing and leaving a message on his answering machine saying we wouldn't bother wasting his time to go ahead. I then rang and left a message on the finance officers answering machine (yep she wasn't in again) and let her know that we wouldn't be going ahead. I paid my rego on my car, that had lapsed - no it hadn't been driven.
The following morning the broker rang and spoke to Peter. He was sure that we could easily get the loan through one of the companies we had dealt with in the past ( we have ever only had 2 loans, 1 of them being the house). So I rang back and left a message on the car yards answering machine to say hold on.
They rang the next morning and yes we had the loan approved. I rang the salesman and told him and said that I had paid my rego. They wouldn't give me any more for my car, so I said I would just pay the extra $500 and privately sell my car and cancel the rego to get money back.
By the time all the paperwork was done up, it was Friday morning when we met the broker at the car yard to sign all the paperwork. Looking at the paperwork, I noticed that some figures didn't seem right. I asked how much they were giving to the car yard. He told me and I said "That's not right". When the finance officer sent through the paperwork, she didn't include the extra warrantee. She then proceeded to blame others, saying she didn't know we wanted it. Both Peter and I said to her that we had told her we did.
The log books had gone missing and new ones were ordered and the original owners - of which there has only been 1 owner - gave details of the mechanic who did all the services. It is one we know, so all could be verified. Then the owners manual went missing and so we are now waiting for one ordered to arrive.
Anyway, we then went on to sort out when the car would be ready for us to pick up. They didn't want anyone in on Tuesday being Melbourne Cup, so it was decided on Wednesday. They picked me up and Peter met me there. We signed off of everything. Couldn't pay or take out the extra warrantee as the finance officer wasn't there and neither was the girl that oversees everything, or so I was told.
We were taken down to the Holden workshop, as they would be looking after my services and introduced to the manager. He got their welcome pack out, totally ignored me and started to tell Peter what was in it. I piped up with "excuse me!! It is MY car and I will be bringing it here, so please speak to me". He turned and looked at me then, no sorry or anything. Having spoken to others that go there, it is very common and one thing that most woman dealing with them hate.
When I was leaving I rang Jade and said that I would be over to her place so she could see the car. On leaving her house, the check engine light came on and wouldn't go off. I went to where Peter was working and he couldn't find anything wrong. I then rang the salesman who couldn't believe it. For the next 30 to 45 mins, he had to try and find one of their workshops that would take a look at my car. They are set up with 3 or 4 different service centres, one for Toyota, Hyundai, Holden due to the size of their dealership.
I was to go in at 2pm for them to put it on a machine and look at it. An hour later, they came into the waiting room to let me know it was an emission problem that they think occurred due to it sitting around for a month. Whatever they did, the light was out and hasn't come back on.
By the time I got home it was nearly 4 o'clock, I had left at 9am. I wasn't feeling excited or anything about having the car, like I should of.
Yesterday I had to ring to see if we could take out the warrantee, after all, we weren't not going to after Wednesday. I got a call back from the woman who oversees, arranged a time to go in and do it. Oh forgot to say we were having to pay cash for it, instead of the loan. She asked how I would be paying when I came in and I said cash. She then asked credit card? I said no, cash. I got in there, the form was done up, but a receipt couldn't be printed as all managers were busy. No one had change to be able to give it to me and so it was a mad rush looking for some.
I wanted to get a car from a car yard so that we had warrantee and peace of mind. So lesson has been learnt. They do follow up and get you to give feedback and a rating and ask if you would recommend them to your friends. Sorry, but hell no. I won't be telling anyone to go there.
On a good note, yesterday and today I have been able to enjoy the car. I went for a massage and instead of coming out relaxed then having to undo all the good work by falling into a low car seat, I was able to keep the feeling. I did push the wrong button last night and set off the 'find my car' alarm haha.
It all started about 2 months ago. My car was on its last legs and it was too low for me to get in and out of with my back. We had seen a few a car yards, but none that really grabbed me. I had been out on the Wednesday night to Brisbane and my air con decided not to work. Fed up, I spent the next morning online looking at cars. I found one at Ross Llewellyn Motors and decided to go and have a look at it.
We were served by a young 20 year old Andrew. We got to take the car for a drive and I was happy with it. The seat height was great for me and it wasn't white (I don't like white cars).
Now when you buy a car these days from a car yard, it isn't like it was the last time we did - oh about 25 years ago. You have to see the sales guy, who then gets in the woman that overseas it all, then you have to see the finance officer. The woman Chezza who oversees it all, told us about the extended warrantee that we could take out and that it also had roadside assist in it, so you wouldn't need RACQ. She said that if we wanted it, to let the finance officer know.
Next came the beginning of the headache. We saw the finance officer, who looked up the rate for the loan and told us how much it would be. We asked how much it would be to include the extra insurance and yes we could afford that, so asked her to include it. She wrote down what we needed to have the loan processed and told us she wouldn't be in the following day.
We raced home, got together pay slips from one of Peter's bosses, got the other to write a letter with what he earnt, bank statements, centrelink statements etc and dropped them back. Over the next two weeks, we played a cat and mouse came of trying to get the information in a form that was acceptable to the finance officer - and some info she gave us I found to be incorrect eg as in things Peter's other boss was doing. She said it was illegal but in fact it wasn't. Because she wasn't in a lot, it dragged things out. I would have to copy and email things to her and instead of just doing a quick 'thanks' in reply, I wouldn't know if she had it or not. I was starting to feel like I was stalking her, when I had to ring all the time to see if she got things and what was happening.
It turned out that the first company said no to finance, the second that they deal with, she had rung and said they said a conditional yes. That was on a Monday. I asked how long before we knew for sure as my rego was due on the Friday. We didn't want to pay it, as they were only giving us $500 trade in for it. She told me that we should be able to pick up the car on the Friday, all going well.
Well Friday came and still no word from her. Someone else rang us, as she was out of the office again, and told us that no it didn't go through. They asked permission to send it to the broker they used. I said yes, but had a feeling of dread. They told me that the broker would be in touch either later that day or the Saturday. I didn't hear from them.
A friend had called in who does do money lending. Normally it is on the scale of home loans but he offered to do up a loan for us. I said no to start with as he was a friend. After talking some more and with it being done not as a friendship but a business transaction, I said yes for him to think about what he could offer us. In the end, I decided not to go with him, so that the blur of friendship and business didn't cross.
Anyway on the Monday the broker rang. He was confident that he could get us the loan. He said he had a copy of our credit history and it was good with no negatives on it. He said that the second company the car yard tried and had the conditional approval on, is not one he would of even considered, as they won't touch anyone with even the slightest centrelink payment. He asked a heap of questions and emailed some forms through to sign.
By that afternoon, I was really down and fed up with the whole process. I could only see him ringing to say no to us. I ended up ringing and leaving a message on his answering machine saying we wouldn't bother wasting his time to go ahead. I then rang and left a message on the finance officers answering machine (yep she wasn't in again) and let her know that we wouldn't be going ahead. I paid my rego on my car, that had lapsed - no it hadn't been driven.
The following morning the broker rang and spoke to Peter. He was sure that we could easily get the loan through one of the companies we had dealt with in the past ( we have ever only had 2 loans, 1 of them being the house). So I rang back and left a message on the car yards answering machine to say hold on.
They rang the next morning and yes we had the loan approved. I rang the salesman and told him and said that I had paid my rego. They wouldn't give me any more for my car, so I said I would just pay the extra $500 and privately sell my car and cancel the rego to get money back.
By the time all the paperwork was done up, it was Friday morning when we met the broker at the car yard to sign all the paperwork. Looking at the paperwork, I noticed that some figures didn't seem right. I asked how much they were giving to the car yard. He told me and I said "That's not right". When the finance officer sent through the paperwork, she didn't include the extra warrantee. She then proceeded to blame others, saying she didn't know we wanted it. Both Peter and I said to her that we had told her we did.
The log books had gone missing and new ones were ordered and the original owners - of which there has only been 1 owner - gave details of the mechanic who did all the services. It is one we know, so all could be verified. Then the owners manual went missing and so we are now waiting for one ordered to arrive.
Anyway, we then went on to sort out when the car would be ready for us to pick up. They didn't want anyone in on Tuesday being Melbourne Cup, so it was decided on Wednesday. They picked me up and Peter met me there. We signed off of everything. Couldn't pay or take out the extra warrantee as the finance officer wasn't there and neither was the girl that oversees everything, or so I was told.
We were taken down to the Holden workshop, as they would be looking after my services and introduced to the manager. He got their welcome pack out, totally ignored me and started to tell Peter what was in it. I piped up with "excuse me!! It is MY car and I will be bringing it here, so please speak to me". He turned and looked at me then, no sorry or anything. Having spoken to others that go there, it is very common and one thing that most woman dealing with them hate.
When I was leaving I rang Jade and said that I would be over to her place so she could see the car. On leaving her house, the check engine light came on and wouldn't go off. I went to where Peter was working and he couldn't find anything wrong. I then rang the salesman who couldn't believe it. For the next 30 to 45 mins, he had to try and find one of their workshops that would take a look at my car. They are set up with 3 or 4 different service centres, one for Toyota, Hyundai, Holden due to the size of their dealership.
I was to go in at 2pm for them to put it on a machine and look at it. An hour later, they came into the waiting room to let me know it was an emission problem that they think occurred due to it sitting around for a month. Whatever they did, the light was out and hasn't come back on.
By the time I got home it was nearly 4 o'clock, I had left at 9am. I wasn't feeling excited or anything about having the car, like I should of.
Yesterday I had to ring to see if we could take out the warrantee, after all, we weren't not going to after Wednesday. I got a call back from the woman who oversees, arranged a time to go in and do it. Oh forgot to say we were having to pay cash for it, instead of the loan. She asked how I would be paying when I came in and I said cash. She then asked credit card? I said no, cash. I got in there, the form was done up, but a receipt couldn't be printed as all managers were busy. No one had change to be able to give it to me and so it was a mad rush looking for some.
I wanted to get a car from a car yard so that we had warrantee and peace of mind. So lesson has been learnt. They do follow up and get you to give feedback and a rating and ask if you would recommend them to your friends. Sorry, but hell no. I won't be telling anyone to go there.
On a good note, yesterday and today I have been able to enjoy the car. I went for a massage and instead of coming out relaxed then having to undo all the good work by falling into a low car seat, I was able to keep the feeling. I did push the wrong button last night and set off the 'find my car' alarm haha.
Tuesday 30 October 2012
Whinge, whinge
Let me start by saying that this is a pity me post, so if you don't want to hear a whinge, then leave now.
I find that at night when things go around and around in my head, that they won't go away until I get it down on paper. While this is not something I would normally write about, it is something that is just not going away. So here goes........it's your last chance to leave now....
I will start by saying that yes I am grateful for the help we receive from DSQ, Montrose and QMDA. If it wasn't for them, we would never get to go away during the year or have respite. So for that I am very thankful.
Now in saying that, I don't need people to throw in my face that I should be thankful that we get help and get centrelink benefits. Some act like it is coming out of their own pockets. Well guess what. We pay tax as well.
While I might do some things differently, there is not much I would change.
If we were to relinquish Ryan's care, it would cost the tax payer a minimum of $300.000 a year just for carers, not including housing, travel etc. So do we get a thank you from those that say we should be grateful for saving them that money? God no!! Something like that would never cross their minds.
Now for the things I rarely ever talk about. Looking after Ryan severely damaged my back. I have pain in it every day and on the days it is really bad, I need Peter to help me get dressed and do some simple tasks. Now because of this, I can't be Ryan's full time carer, Peter has to be. With centrelink he is allowed to work 25 hours a week. All his income is reported each fortnight and our payments are adjusted. I don't think we have ever received a full payment.
We are in our own home that we are paying off, we have no other debts apart from paying off our cruise to QMDA. So we are not getting rent assistance or staying in government housing. We have private health insurance and all our hospital admissions are private and not draining the overworked system.
We are not extravagant people, we haven't been able to. When we had our own business, it was doing fine until we had 3 big jobs in a row not pay. It is the only time we have gone to a charity for help, but that was so the kids would have food.
With doing the gardens and things around the house and cooking classes, I have been selling items to buy what I am doing. I own 5 pairs of shoes - slippers, joggers, boots, good shoes and slip ons. Our tv came from Big W and we don't have a surround sound system. I don't care that I don't have them and I don't care if you do.
You might say that all of this is no ones business. You are right, but oh so wrong. Because we get benefits, there are some that work, that think it is their business. This people can make you feel like shit. But having dealt with people like this for years, I am use to it.
What has brought a lot of this to the surface over the last couple of weeks, is that we are trying to get a new car for me. Mine is on its last legs and is too low for me and meaning that by the time I finish the grocery shopping, I am having to lift my legs into the car and in pain from just about falling in.
You would think that having over $500,000 in assets would mean that getting a small loan would not be a problem. After all, they seem to just throw money around at people these days. Well how wrong you are. Because some of our income is from centrelink, most places won't touch you. As we were told - it doesn't matter it is was $1000 or $100,000, the answer would be the same.
So all in all it just sucks. It sucks that some people think they can treat you like shit, it sucks that because we choose to look after our son and not let him be a burden on the tax payer that we get penalized.
I am not looking for pity or a hand out or hugs or anything else. I am just letting you know that it sucks. Now hopefully, I have this off my chest and can now get some sleep tonight.
I find that at night when things go around and around in my head, that they won't go away until I get it down on paper. While this is not something I would normally write about, it is something that is just not going away. So here goes........it's your last chance to leave now....
I will start by saying that yes I am grateful for the help we receive from DSQ, Montrose and QMDA. If it wasn't for them, we would never get to go away during the year or have respite. So for that I am very thankful.
Now in saying that, I don't need people to throw in my face that I should be thankful that we get help and get centrelink benefits. Some act like it is coming out of their own pockets. Well guess what. We pay tax as well.
While I might do some things differently, there is not much I would change.
If we were to relinquish Ryan's care, it would cost the tax payer a minimum of $300.000 a year just for carers, not including housing, travel etc. So do we get a thank you from those that say we should be grateful for saving them that money? God no!! Something like that would never cross their minds.
Now for the things I rarely ever talk about. Looking after Ryan severely damaged my back. I have pain in it every day and on the days it is really bad, I need Peter to help me get dressed and do some simple tasks. Now because of this, I can't be Ryan's full time carer, Peter has to be. With centrelink he is allowed to work 25 hours a week. All his income is reported each fortnight and our payments are adjusted. I don't think we have ever received a full payment.
We are in our own home that we are paying off, we have no other debts apart from paying off our cruise to QMDA. So we are not getting rent assistance or staying in government housing. We have private health insurance and all our hospital admissions are private and not draining the overworked system.
We are not extravagant people, we haven't been able to. When we had our own business, it was doing fine until we had 3 big jobs in a row not pay. It is the only time we have gone to a charity for help, but that was so the kids would have food.
With doing the gardens and things around the house and cooking classes, I have been selling items to buy what I am doing. I own 5 pairs of shoes - slippers, joggers, boots, good shoes and slip ons. Our tv came from Big W and we don't have a surround sound system. I don't care that I don't have them and I don't care if you do.
You might say that all of this is no ones business. You are right, but oh so wrong. Because we get benefits, there are some that work, that think it is their business. This people can make you feel like shit. But having dealt with people like this for years, I am use to it.
What has brought a lot of this to the surface over the last couple of weeks, is that we are trying to get a new car for me. Mine is on its last legs and is too low for me and meaning that by the time I finish the grocery shopping, I am having to lift my legs into the car and in pain from just about falling in.
You would think that having over $500,000 in assets would mean that getting a small loan would not be a problem. After all, they seem to just throw money around at people these days. Well how wrong you are. Because some of our income is from centrelink, most places won't touch you. As we were told - it doesn't matter it is was $1000 or $100,000, the answer would be the same.
So all in all it just sucks. It sucks that some people think they can treat you like shit, it sucks that because we choose to look after our son and not let him be a burden on the tax payer that we get penalized.
I am not looking for pity or a hand out or hugs or anything else. I am just letting you know that it sucks. Now hopefully, I have this off my chest and can now get some sleep tonight.
Thursday 4 October 2012
Psychic reading
Well today I got to cross off another thing on my list. I went for a reading with a woman named Lorraine Manly. Even though I had heard she was good, I was still a bit sceptical. After coming out though, I was a firm believer.
Prior to going in, I rang a friend while I was sitting in the car, since I got there early and was telling her what I was doing. I made a comment that I was only having a reading and not the mediumship as well, as there was no one I wanted to talk to haha.
I finished the call and went inside. Lorraine took me into the room in the back of CJ's store that she uses and I sat down. The first thing she said to me was that a woman had come in with me. An older woman who had passed. She told me things that this person was saying and doing and I knew who it was. To protect privacy I won't say who it was, but that they had a message for me. That someone had or was going to try and commit suicide and there was a note and I had to watch out for this person. I had no idea who the hell this could be, but afterwards I rang this person's child to tell them about what had happened and what was said. It turns out that it was them a couple of days ago. I also got this person to read my blog from yesterday and all of it seems to tie together.
The other thing that happened with this person that had passed, was that Lorraine said to me "Who is Jan?" I told her my friend and she commented more than asked, that I had seen Jan yesterday. I said yes that I had and she told me that this person was with me at Jan's. Oh and she had also wanted to say Happy Birthday to me.
The readings were divided into four parts. There was things that either have happened or going to happen in an 8 week period either side of today. There were things that came up that no one would know. Things that I had discussed with Troy in the last 2 days. Then there were things that are going to happen in 3, 6 and 9 months. Some things I could relate to, others I will have to wait and see.
At the end, there is a question time. I got to ask 3 different questions and the answers to them were very accurate. I asked questions about my kids and things said were spot on and so specific that they could not have been guessed or generalized about.
The whole thing is recorded so I could take home a copy of it and listen to it again. Three holidays in the 8 week period came up. On the way home I was thinking that while I was thinking holidays as in a week away, it could be the three I am doing within the next couple of months. I am going for a night or two to Bryon Bay, a night on the Gold coast for Ryan's girlfriends 21st and we have a week booked on the coast later in November.
I can't wait to see if the things I couldn't relate to, happen. It certainly wasn't one of those readings where everything might or might not mean this or that. It was more this will happen. It came up in the 8 week part that there would be a reunion that I would be involved in. Well this Saturday I am meeting up with girls that I worked with at MBF that I haven't seen for over 20 years.
I came out of there, feeling like OMG. Can't wait to see what Peter thinks. I had the friend whose parent came through listen to it with their partner and both had the same reaction as me and were totally amazed at not only the things pertaining to them, but at how accurate the stuff about my family were.
Prior to going in, I rang a friend while I was sitting in the car, since I got there early and was telling her what I was doing. I made a comment that I was only having a reading and not the mediumship as well, as there was no one I wanted to talk to haha.
I finished the call and went inside. Lorraine took me into the room in the back of CJ's store that she uses and I sat down. The first thing she said to me was that a woman had come in with me. An older woman who had passed. She told me things that this person was saying and doing and I knew who it was. To protect privacy I won't say who it was, but that they had a message for me. That someone had or was going to try and commit suicide and there was a note and I had to watch out for this person. I had no idea who the hell this could be, but afterwards I rang this person's child to tell them about what had happened and what was said. It turns out that it was them a couple of days ago. I also got this person to read my blog from yesterday and all of it seems to tie together.
The other thing that happened with this person that had passed, was that Lorraine said to me "Who is Jan?" I told her my friend and she commented more than asked, that I had seen Jan yesterday. I said yes that I had and she told me that this person was with me at Jan's. Oh and she had also wanted to say Happy Birthday to me.
The readings were divided into four parts. There was things that either have happened or going to happen in an 8 week period either side of today. There were things that came up that no one would know. Things that I had discussed with Troy in the last 2 days. Then there were things that are going to happen in 3, 6 and 9 months. Some things I could relate to, others I will have to wait and see.
At the end, there is a question time. I got to ask 3 different questions and the answers to them were very accurate. I asked questions about my kids and things said were spot on and so specific that they could not have been guessed or generalized about.
The whole thing is recorded so I could take home a copy of it and listen to it again. Three holidays in the 8 week period came up. On the way home I was thinking that while I was thinking holidays as in a week away, it could be the three I am doing within the next couple of months. I am going for a night or two to Bryon Bay, a night on the Gold coast for Ryan's girlfriends 21st and we have a week booked on the coast later in November.
I can't wait to see if the things I couldn't relate to, happen. It certainly wasn't one of those readings where everything might or might not mean this or that. It was more this will happen. It came up in the 8 week part that there would be a reunion that I would be involved in. Well this Saturday I am meeting up with girls that I worked with at MBF that I haven't seen for over 20 years.
I came out of there, feeling like OMG. Can't wait to see what Peter thinks. I had the friend whose parent came through listen to it with their partner and both had the same reaction as me and were totally amazed at not only the things pertaining to them, but at how accurate the stuff about my family were.
Wednesday 3 October 2012
Mischievous Adventures
This weekend I am going to be catching up with some girls - well women now - that I use to work with 30 odd years ago. So again laying in bed, I started thinking back to that time in my life.
Linda may remember our times on the Gold Coast. We would see a car with some good looking guys in it and follow them. Distance was no barrier, as once we ended up in Pottsville haha.
Then there was the time that I picked up Linda and Kim to take them to the coast for the day and Kim worrying because there was dope on my car floor. This was due to taking a friend to pick up his stash and some of it spilling in the car. Most of it was gone, but I remember Linda and I saying we were going to dust bust it up to keep haha. It was also the weekend that my grandmother died when we were at the beach.
Another friend of mine, Joanne, use to work at Maroochydore police station. We had many adventures together. One weekend I took Karen, a work colleague from MBF up to Cotton Tree for a weekend with Joanne. Jo was telling us that a flasher had been spotted in the area. We were warned by Bob one of the coppers not to go looking. As if we would!!
Well of course we would. Karen, Jo and I sat in the area for ages waiting for the person to turn up. After getting bored, we got up to leave, only to have the guy fishing near us, turn and flash us. Jo screams out, 'bring out the police dogs' and the three of us start running after this guy. Poor thing probably didn't know what had happened. We were running in amongst caravans and cars, calling out to him and laughing so much, we were nearly wetting ourselves. Needless to say he got away, but we sure did have fun for a while.
Holidays and weekends back then, were always a time of adventure. I use to holiday on the Gold Coast with family friends. It was on one such holiday that I went to the beach and came home with a date with an Elvis impersonator. What the hell was I thinking!!
Jo and I decided to go on a mini driving holiday to visit relatives. Our first stop was Munduberra to stay with my auntie. Now anyone who has ever been here, knows that it is a one main street town. We did a pub crawl and by the time we got back home, my auntie knew where we had been and who we had spoken to. From there we went to Biloela to Jo's aunty. On the way there I went to sleep in the car. Jo while driving came across a semi, towing a semi backwards. She thought it would be absolutely hilarious to get up really close behind it and then started to scream waking me up. I just about shit myself, when waking up and seeing what looked like a semi coming straight at us.
One thing was that we never hurt anyone, but just had some good fun and wonderful memories were created. I remember a lot of good times, but too many to write down at this point in time.
Linda may remember our times on the Gold Coast. We would see a car with some good looking guys in it and follow them. Distance was no barrier, as once we ended up in Pottsville haha.
Then there was the time that I picked up Linda and Kim to take them to the coast for the day and Kim worrying because there was dope on my car floor. This was due to taking a friend to pick up his stash and some of it spilling in the car. Most of it was gone, but I remember Linda and I saying we were going to dust bust it up to keep haha. It was also the weekend that my grandmother died when we were at the beach.
Another friend of mine, Joanne, use to work at Maroochydore police station. We had many adventures together. One weekend I took Karen, a work colleague from MBF up to Cotton Tree for a weekend with Joanne. Jo was telling us that a flasher had been spotted in the area. We were warned by Bob one of the coppers not to go looking. As if we would!!
Well of course we would. Karen, Jo and I sat in the area for ages waiting for the person to turn up. After getting bored, we got up to leave, only to have the guy fishing near us, turn and flash us. Jo screams out, 'bring out the police dogs' and the three of us start running after this guy. Poor thing probably didn't know what had happened. We were running in amongst caravans and cars, calling out to him and laughing so much, we were nearly wetting ourselves. Needless to say he got away, but we sure did have fun for a while.
Holidays and weekends back then, were always a time of adventure. I use to holiday on the Gold Coast with family friends. It was on one such holiday that I went to the beach and came home with a date with an Elvis impersonator. What the hell was I thinking!!
Jo and I decided to go on a mini driving holiday to visit relatives. Our first stop was Munduberra to stay with my auntie. Now anyone who has ever been here, knows that it is a one main street town. We did a pub crawl and by the time we got back home, my auntie knew where we had been and who we had spoken to. From there we went to Biloela to Jo's aunty. On the way there I went to sleep in the car. Jo while driving came across a semi, towing a semi backwards. She thought it would be absolutely hilarious to get up really close behind it and then started to scream waking me up. I just about shit myself, when waking up and seeing what looked like a semi coming straight at us.
One thing was that we never hurt anyone, but just had some good fun and wonderful memories were created. I remember a lot of good times, but too many to write down at this point in time.
Surfing the waves
A lot of people, especially carers, suffer from depression. It is something that unless you have really experienced it, you can't fully understand what it is like. It isn't just feeling sad or down. Thinking in bed last night - yeah I know, surprise, surprise at me doing this lol. I was trying to thing of a way to describe what it is like. This is what I came up with ....
Imagine you are a surfer. You paddle out to sit on your board and wait for that perfect wave to come along. As you are sitting there, you are bobbing up and down - this is most peoples life of gentle up and down days.
You see a swell coming and swim madly to catch it. If you are skilled enough, you can ride it to shore, if not you will wipe out. Most people when wiping out, can pick themselves up and swim back out waiting for the next wave and they are fine.
Now someone with depression, when they wipe out, they are trapped under the water and wave after wave keeps crashing down on you and keeping you under the water no matter how hard you are trying to escape. If you are lucky a lifesaver (antidepressant or counselling) will rescue you and help you go back out to the back of the waves.
Over time, the lifesaver just can't help by themselves. They might need to get another swimmer or lifesaver to help them. For some people, after time they won't bother to even get the lifesavers attention and just let the waves take them.
Everyone on the beach watching, will all have different opinions on what you should do instead of surfing over and over. There will be those that tell you to 'just keep going, you can do it, you're strong'. 'It isn't as bad a wipe out as your making it, get over it' will be another.
The thing about all those people on the beach is, that they weren't the ones trapped under the waves. They hadn't run out of breathe or swallowed a mouthful of water and still trapped. It is a lot easier to see from a distance, than to experience.
So after a while of this happening and people giving you their opinions on what you should of done, you learn to leave the surf, pretending it was like water off a ducks back. You carry your board to your car. It doesn't matter if your board feeling like a ton of bricks, you are going to make it look at light as a feather. You pack all your gear away and drive off. Anyone watching would think you had a great time and got over your wipe outs.
What they don't see as you drive out of sight, are the tears that are running down your face. They don't realize that the next day, week or month, you will be back to do it all over again. Yes there will be days that when you go out surfing, you to, will ride the waves to the beach and they will be the memories that make up for the days you totally wipe out.
________________________________________________________________________
Please feel free to share any of the things I write. While some things could be worded better, I tend to put things down on paper and not go back and read them. This is a way to get my thoughts out.
Imagine you are a surfer. You paddle out to sit on your board and wait for that perfect wave to come along. As you are sitting there, you are bobbing up and down - this is most peoples life of gentle up and down days.
You see a swell coming and swim madly to catch it. If you are skilled enough, you can ride it to shore, if not you will wipe out. Most people when wiping out, can pick themselves up and swim back out waiting for the next wave and they are fine.
Now someone with depression, when they wipe out, they are trapped under the water and wave after wave keeps crashing down on you and keeping you under the water no matter how hard you are trying to escape. If you are lucky a lifesaver (antidepressant or counselling) will rescue you and help you go back out to the back of the waves.
Over time, the lifesaver just can't help by themselves. They might need to get another swimmer or lifesaver to help them. For some people, after time they won't bother to even get the lifesavers attention and just let the waves take them.
Everyone on the beach watching, will all have different opinions on what you should do instead of surfing over and over. There will be those that tell you to 'just keep going, you can do it, you're strong'. 'It isn't as bad a wipe out as your making it, get over it' will be another.
The thing about all those people on the beach is, that they weren't the ones trapped under the waves. They hadn't run out of breathe or swallowed a mouthful of water and still trapped. It is a lot easier to see from a distance, than to experience.
So after a while of this happening and people giving you their opinions on what you should of done, you learn to leave the surf, pretending it was like water off a ducks back. You carry your board to your car. It doesn't matter if your board feeling like a ton of bricks, you are going to make it look at light as a feather. You pack all your gear away and drive off. Anyone watching would think you had a great time and got over your wipe outs.
What they don't see as you drive out of sight, are the tears that are running down your face. They don't realize that the next day, week or month, you will be back to do it all over again. Yes there will be days that when you go out surfing, you to, will ride the waves to the beach and they will be the memories that make up for the days you totally wipe out.
________________________________________________________________________
Please feel free to share any of the things I write. While some things could be worded better, I tend to put things down on paper and not go back and read them. This is a way to get my thoughts out.
Monday 24 September 2012
How my 50 things is going
Wow am getting through a lot of these. I didn't expect to get through half of them, so this is fantastic!
1. Read
3. Go on a holiday, hopefully to Melbourne. I was last there in 1984, so just a few years ago lol
5. Go down another 20kgs (gotten a bit stuck at the moment)
7. Have lunch or dinner at Bretts wharf or Aria Brisbane - Will have to be Aria now as I missed Brett's Wharf
8. Go through the glow worm caves at Springbrook hopefully when the glow fungi is out as well or the fireflies
10. Have a tarot reading - having this done on October 4th
1
15. Go to a zoo
17. Brisbane's koala and river cruise
1
20. Go to Q1 lookout - have my ticket and going in November
21. Get my bonsai started
22. crystal castle at mullumbimby
28. be part of a flash mob - now where does someone find these people
29. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring.
31. Go on a retreat
34. Swim in the ocean - haven't done this for many many years
36. Spend a night at maleny/montville
37. Hold a snake - to overcome a fear
38. Attend the good food festival
39. feed the homeless - (contacted agencies but none have gotten back to me yet)
40. do a belly dancing class - doing this on October 9th
42. queen mary falls walk
44. host a murder mystery dinner party - this is booked and happening on October 13th
46. Have a games night with friends
48. Trike ride from Gold Coast to Mt Tambourine wineries
49. Ride on a carousel
Wednesday 12 September 2012
My young adults
Laying in bed last night in a world of pain from my back, I as usual had thoughts of what I should write running through my head. I figured that perhaps before I drop dead, I should write about my kids and tell you about how amazing they are.
Ryan.
As much as I can sometimes complain about Ryan, he is a very remarkable young man. Ryan survives through life by setting goals. There are things he wants to achieve and makes sure he is getting to do them.
Ryan hates to lose control. I guess it comes from having to rely on people for so many things. If you don't do it the way that makes him feel safe, he will soon let you know. But then, when it comes to things that terrify me - Brisbane's wheel for example - he has no fear in doing that.
His carers are often amazed at the wide range of topics that Ryan knows about. He is very social and sees the good in people.
Ryan is very much like his father. I guess that is why they clash so much. But for all their fighting, Ryan really cares about his dad. He will voice to others, the worry that he has over the strain of us caring for him.
Ryan knows what medical intervention he wants in his life, and no one will change his mind, if he doesn't want to.
He loves his family and ends every day when going to sleep by saying "Night mum, love you'.
Jade.
As much as Jade will hate to hear this, she is the most like me.
Jade loves to organize. It doesn't matter if it is work or home, she will be there. Instead of delegating, she finds it easier to 'just do it herself' so it is done right. This in turn leads to her burning out but never admitting it and needing to soldier on.
Jade will tend to go into 'mother-mode', if she thinks you need looking after. She also tries hard to make everyone happy, sometimes to her own detriment. Jade needs to feel needed, but hates feeling needy.
She is scared of what life may hold with loved ones and will find it better to ignore what is happening until confronted face on with it.
Jade will tell you that she doesn't like kids. The truth is, that she was at her happiest when teaching young children to dance. She would come home with tales of how cute this one was, or funny stories that happened in class. Her whole being would light up, as would she when she was performing.
Learning to take time for herself and to stop and smell the roses before life passes her by, would be a good goal for Jade.
Troy.
While Ryan is my outgoing take to everyone child, Jade is my I'm here one, Troy is my quiet sensitive one.
Troy has always hated any attention on him. I think with two big personalities for a brother and sister, he has shied away from that side of things.
Troy was always the adventurer. He was my climber, the one to jump his bike, ride a motorbike and always confident he could do anything.
He will never show his feelings, which has led to me worrying about him the most. If he is upset or hurt, he will retreat to his room and that is the only sign you have.
It also works for how Troy feels about you. His feelings are shown more by his actions. He will do without something he really wants, if you need an item. This he has done with family and friends.
To give an example of the depth of Troy's feelings is to tell stories of him and Ryan. Ryan gave Troy a silver ingot for one of his birthdays - I think it was his 13th. Troy is never without it around his neck. Plus how many brothers would get the others portrait tattooed on them, so they are always with you.
We have often joked over the years about Troy's bubble. In this bubble is Troy and whatever is important to him at the time and the rest of the world goes on outside of it without impacting on him.
My kids have grown up to be wonderful young adults. Many that have had to live through what they have, are not so well adjusted. Jade and Troy have wonderful work ethics and will step in to help, if ever we needed them to.
I am so very proud of them and glad to call them mine.
Ryan.
As much as I can sometimes complain about Ryan, he is a very remarkable young man. Ryan survives through life by setting goals. There are things he wants to achieve and makes sure he is getting to do them.
Ryan hates to lose control. I guess it comes from having to rely on people for so many things. If you don't do it the way that makes him feel safe, he will soon let you know. But then, when it comes to things that terrify me - Brisbane's wheel for example - he has no fear in doing that.
His carers are often amazed at the wide range of topics that Ryan knows about. He is very social and sees the good in people.
Ryan is very much like his father. I guess that is why they clash so much. But for all their fighting, Ryan really cares about his dad. He will voice to others, the worry that he has over the strain of us caring for him.
Ryan knows what medical intervention he wants in his life, and no one will change his mind, if he doesn't want to.
He loves his family and ends every day when going to sleep by saying "Night mum, love you'.
Jade.
As much as Jade will hate to hear this, she is the most like me.
Jade loves to organize. It doesn't matter if it is work or home, she will be there. Instead of delegating, she finds it easier to 'just do it herself' so it is done right. This in turn leads to her burning out but never admitting it and needing to soldier on.
Jade will tend to go into 'mother-mode', if she thinks you need looking after. She also tries hard to make everyone happy, sometimes to her own detriment. Jade needs to feel needed, but hates feeling needy.
She is scared of what life may hold with loved ones and will find it better to ignore what is happening until confronted face on with it.
Jade will tell you that she doesn't like kids. The truth is, that she was at her happiest when teaching young children to dance. She would come home with tales of how cute this one was, or funny stories that happened in class. Her whole being would light up, as would she when she was performing.
Learning to take time for herself and to stop and smell the roses before life passes her by, would be a good goal for Jade.
Troy.
While Ryan is my outgoing take to everyone child, Jade is my I'm here one, Troy is my quiet sensitive one.
Troy has always hated any attention on him. I think with two big personalities for a brother and sister, he has shied away from that side of things.
Troy was always the adventurer. He was my climber, the one to jump his bike, ride a motorbike and always confident he could do anything.
He will never show his feelings, which has led to me worrying about him the most. If he is upset or hurt, he will retreat to his room and that is the only sign you have.
It also works for how Troy feels about you. His feelings are shown more by his actions. He will do without something he really wants, if you need an item. This he has done with family and friends.
To give an example of the depth of Troy's feelings is to tell stories of him and Ryan. Ryan gave Troy a silver ingot for one of his birthdays - I think it was his 13th. Troy is never without it around his neck. Plus how many brothers would get the others portrait tattooed on them, so they are always with you.
We have often joked over the years about Troy's bubble. In this bubble is Troy and whatever is important to him at the time and the rest of the world goes on outside of it without impacting on him.
My kids have grown up to be wonderful young adults. Many that have had to live through what they have, are not so well adjusted. Jade and Troy have wonderful work ethics and will step in to help, if ever we needed them to.
I am so very proud of them and glad to call them mine.
Sunday 2 September 2012
August
Well what a month!
Started with going to a High Tea for Montrose Access with the two Jades, Colleen, and Jane. Lucky for me that I had let the kids watch TV when they were younger. It meant I could answer a question that no one else knew about Judith McGrath (who was guest speaker), that no one else knew. For that I won a sitting and portrait at Porfyri Photography Annerley. While I could of had the photos done with the family, I decided to be selfish and just have them done of myself. They turned out great and are the only pics of myself that I have seen that I truly like. I got a set of 3 black and white framed, which now proudly hang on the dining room wall.
Peter and I went and saw Jon English in concert at Ipswich Civic Centre. Have loved his music since I was about 12 and have seen him in numerous things over the years, including musicals, plays, concerts and on tv in shows. I think he is one of Australia's most diverse talents, who goes largely unrecognised.
The following week and day prior to my birthday, I went to a play called Ladies Night with Jan, Nicci, Jeanette, Wendy and her friend. We left with our jaws sore from laughing so much and commenting on what may have been accidental late 'light-dimming' moment at the end. We certainly got an eye full haha.
On the day I turned 50, we had Nicci, Brian and Gaanz staying. The kids were all home and we had a bbq dinner. While it was great to have them all there celebrating with me, I was hurt by the fact that my parents, who were travelling from Blackbutt to Port Macquarie for a holiday that day, couldn't take the time to drop in and say happy birthday as they went pass. Instead I got a phone call mid morning to say happy birthday and did I get their card. I told them no and got the reply 'oh well it will turn up in the mail some time'. I got the card with the $30 enclosed - which is better than the clothes I have gotten in the past that are 10 sizes too small and told 'for when you lose weight or you could give it to Jade'.
Saturday I met Chris at Brisbane airport for him to stay the weekend, always great to catch up with how his life is going. We all got to dress up in our best 60's gear and head off to North's for my party.
The only downfall with parties is that you don't get to spend as much time as you want to talk to everyone. Jade had done a great job decorating the place and while there was no cake by orders of me, I got to thank everyone who has helped us over the years.
We did a lot of dancing, which in turn reminded me later that night that I am not 18 and heat packs were used on back and hips and lots of water drunk to help with leg cramps haha. I had a great time and hope that everyone else did as well.
Unfortunately everyone had to leave Sunday and I didn't get to spend enough time with my dear friends. Maybe next time I can lock them all up, so they can't go home lol.
Its my friends that make me feel extremely special and the ones that I can count on. Thank you all so much for your friendships and love.
Now to pull my finger out and get some more items crossed off my list. After all, I only have 4 months to do it in lol.
1. Read50 10 books in the year. Doesn't matter what type but as long as its 50 and I will be able to keep track with my new kindle.
2. Do another cooking class. At least 1 but hopefully 2. So far done 6, one of which was with Jamie Oliver and one on the ship
3. Go on a holiday, hopefully to Melbourne. I was last there in 1984, so just a few years ago lol
4. Go to a horse 'cup' day
5. Go down another 20kgs (gotten a bit stuck at the moment)
6. Get a lot more writing from my autobiography done - Been doing heaps of that
7. Have lunch or dinner at Bretts wharf or Aria Brisbane - Peter's boss said he is taking me for my birthday
8. Go through the glow worm caves at Springbrook hopefully when the glow fungi is out as well or the fireflies
9. Do a charity event - with not a lot of walking done today MDAQ walk
10. Have a tarot reading - have the name of someone really good in Fernvale
11. Go to a musical (booked for Jersey Boys in July)
12. Go to gold class movie
13. Go on a cruise - booked and leaving in April
14. Get a fish - either fighter or gold fish or two. Now have Elvis my blue suede fighting fish
15. Go to a zoo
16. Go to brisbane city markets - doing this with voucher from birthday
17. Brisbane's koala and river cruise
18. Toowoomba carnival of flowers
19. Attend a dawn service
20. Go to Q1 lookout - got a voucher for this for my birthday
21. Get my bonsai started
22. crystal castle at mullumbimby
23. finish a crocheted rug. I start them all the time, just never finish
24. have a facial Have had a couple now
25. have a massage
26. try a new food Tried dragon fruit and poppadoms and some vegetarian dishes so far and now macaroons
27. aqua aerobics classes. Done and going to do more
28. be part of a flash mob - now where does someone find these people
29. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring.
30. Get family tree in order - got heaps of this done
31. Go on a retreat
32. Go to the comedy club
33. Play blackjack at the casino - done and won
34. Swim in the ocean - haven't done this for many many years
35. Go to an opera or listen or an opera singer - realized I had already done this
36. Spend a night at maleny/montville
37. Hold a snake - to overcome a fear (Went on the Brisbane wheel to overcome fear of heights but had to get off, so only went around once. Never again lol )
38. Attend the good food festival
39. feed the homeless - was looking into this a couple of months ago but didn't do anything about it. (contacted agencies but none have gotten back to me yet)
40. do a belly dancing class - well I have enough belly to wobble haha
41. try a new drink tried lots of new ones now lol
42. queen mary falls walk
43. drink a cocktail done and dusted
44. host a murder mystery dinner party - have the game here, now to organize
45. Put $5 a day into money box - use it for something special at the end of the year. - been doing this
46. Have a games night with friends
47. Put $50 on black at the casino for my first and only bet at the table. and won
48. Trike ride from Gold Coast to Mt Tambourine wineries
49. Ride on a carousel
50. Have a kick arse birthday party (venue, dj, food sorted. Decorations started)
Started with going to a High Tea for Montrose Access with the two Jades, Colleen, and Jane. Lucky for me that I had let the kids watch TV when they were younger. It meant I could answer a question that no one else knew about Judith McGrath (who was guest speaker), that no one else knew. For that I won a sitting and portrait at Porfyri Photography Annerley. While I could of had the photos done with the family, I decided to be selfish and just have them done of myself. They turned out great and are the only pics of myself that I have seen that I truly like. I got a set of 3 black and white framed, which now proudly hang on the dining room wall.
Peter and I went and saw Jon English in concert at Ipswich Civic Centre. Have loved his music since I was about 12 and have seen him in numerous things over the years, including musicals, plays, concerts and on tv in shows. I think he is one of Australia's most diverse talents, who goes largely unrecognised.
The following week and day prior to my birthday, I went to a play called Ladies Night with Jan, Nicci, Jeanette, Wendy and her friend. We left with our jaws sore from laughing so much and commenting on what may have been accidental late 'light-dimming' moment at the end. We certainly got an eye full haha.
On the day I turned 50, we had Nicci, Brian and Gaanz staying. The kids were all home and we had a bbq dinner. While it was great to have them all there celebrating with me, I was hurt by the fact that my parents, who were travelling from Blackbutt to Port Macquarie for a holiday that day, couldn't take the time to drop in and say happy birthday as they went pass. Instead I got a phone call mid morning to say happy birthday and did I get their card. I told them no and got the reply 'oh well it will turn up in the mail some time'. I got the card with the $30 enclosed - which is better than the clothes I have gotten in the past that are 10 sizes too small and told 'for when you lose weight or you could give it to Jade'.
Saturday I met Chris at Brisbane airport for him to stay the weekend, always great to catch up with how his life is going. We all got to dress up in our best 60's gear and head off to North's for my party.
The only downfall with parties is that you don't get to spend as much time as you want to talk to everyone. Jade had done a great job decorating the place and while there was no cake by orders of me, I got to thank everyone who has helped us over the years.
We did a lot of dancing, which in turn reminded me later that night that I am not 18 and heat packs were used on back and hips and lots of water drunk to help with leg cramps haha. I had a great time and hope that everyone else did as well.
Unfortunately everyone had to leave Sunday and I didn't get to spend enough time with my dear friends. Maybe next time I can lock them all up, so they can't go home lol.
Its my friends that make me feel extremely special and the ones that I can count on. Thank you all so much for your friendships and love.
Now to pull my finger out and get some more items crossed off my list. After all, I only have 4 months to do it in lol.
1. Read
3. Go on a holiday, hopefully to Melbourne. I was last there in 1984, so just a few years ago lol
5. Go down another 20kgs (gotten a bit stuck at the moment)
7. Have lunch or dinner at Bretts wharf or Aria Brisbane - Peter's boss said he is taking me for my birthday
8. Go through the glow worm caves at Springbrook hopefully when the glow fungi is out as well or the fireflies
10. Have a tarot reading - have the name of someone really good in Fernvale
1
15. Go to a zoo
16. Go to brisbane city markets - doing this with voucher from birthday
17. Brisbane's koala and river cruise
18. Toowoomba carnival of flowers
1
20. Go to Q1 lookout - got a voucher for this for my birthday
21. Get my bonsai started
22. crystal castle at mullumbimby
28. be part of a flash mob - now where does someone find these people
29. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring.
31. Go on a retreat
34. Swim in the ocean - haven't done this for many many years
36. Spend a night at maleny/montville
37. Hold a snake - to overcome a fear (Went on the Brisbane wheel to overcome fear of heights but had to get off, so only went around once. Never again lol )
38. Attend the good food festival
39. feed the homeless - was looking into this a couple of months ago but didn't do anything about it. (contacted agencies but none have gotten back to me yet)
40. do a belly dancing class - well I have enough belly to wobble haha
42. queen mary falls walk
44. host a murder mystery dinner party - have the game here, now to organize
46. Have a games night with friends
48. Trike ride from Gold Coast to Mt Tambourine wineries
49. Ride on a carousel
Monday 20 August 2012
End of a decade
Don't you just hate those early mornings, when for whatever reason you wake and your mind starts racing? This morning was one of those for me. No matter how much I tried to turn off my brain and go back to sleep, it was equally determined to keep going.
I don't even know why these thoughts were in my head, maybe it was triggered by a dream or a subconscious memory. Whatever the cause, it was not going to go until I got up to put it on paper.... well on computer screen.
So what is it that makes sleep evasive? I guess you would call it a reflection of the past 10 years. Yes, as I am about to enter my fifties, I was remembering the last decade.
While my 20's were mainly full of happiness and my 30's a blur, my 40's have been full of some of my highest highs and lowest lows and greatest achievements (apart from my kids).
Ten years ago I joined an online forum with the name of emailcash (emc). This forum was later going to give me some of my greatest support and dearest of friends to enter my life.
At the age of 42 and Ryan being nearly 16, he had to have rods inserted in his back. We were told that there was a 2% chance that he would lose any movement that he had. Pfffft what is 2%, nothing really but yet more than you can ever imagine.
Ryan was able to feed himself, move his arms - not with full movement, but enough to do the things he wanted to do. He had head control and could be transferred easily. He could be laying on his side and roll onto his back. This is what 2% looks like! But I am getting ahead of myself.
Ryan was booked in to have the op. My plan was to stay with him until he went into theatre, then come home, to return when the op was finished 7 hours later. But the doctors told me that I wasn't going to be allowed to leave and had to stay at the hospital, just in case.
So to the rescue the faceless people of EMC. A lovely woman with the online name of tauruschild, came and sat with me the whole time that Ryan was in theatre. Another by the name of pozzie, took updates to inform those online. They kept my nerves in check and me sane.
Two weeks after coming out, Ryan was back in. His back had opened up and it needed to be opened right up and cleaned out. This is when I first got to meet Floyd face to face. He took Peter and I to dinner near the hospital while Ryan was in theatre. Another stint in icu and on the ward and then Ryan was home again.
Once recovery was over, then we found he had none of the previous movement that he was capable of.
This, then led to a spiral of me punishing myself. While as a mother of a DMD boy, you can have genetic tests that say your not a carer, but that it was a mutant egg that cause it. You still have the guilt that you had the mutant egg. Yes I know that doesn't make sense, but no one said things had to be rational. So each set back for him, you feel guilt, then punish yourself.
So this led me at around 44, by my doctor telling me, that if I didn't do something soon, that I wouldn't see 50. So after 32 years of smoking, I gave up - cold turkey. I was quite proud of myself. Not long after, I had the worse asthma attack of my life. See what healthy living does for you lol.
I ended up in the Wesley for around 10 days. Afterwards the specialist told me, that when I was admitted, he had thought I would never leave alive. Again the people of emc were there to visit and ring with offers of help.
Now it was also around this time (or maybe a year or so before) that I took over secret santa on emc. In September each year, people would sign up to send a gift or card to another person. A co-ordinator would give you a name and address of someone to send to. I did this for 5 years and it gave me a great senses of achievement. By the time I stopped, there were over 300 people participating and thousands of cards being sent around the country.
Doing this, meant that I got to know people even better than I would of. I haven't been on the forum for years, but still have those that I got close to, in my life.
Anyway, back to my hospital stint. After getting out I had to go for a sleep study which showed I had sleep apnoea. I started to punish myself in a new way - eating. My weight went up to 167kg. Then one day I had chest pains and ended up going by ambulance to Ipswich hospital, who then sent me by ambulance to ccu at the Wesley.
Again a specialist there said to lose weight or die. So that led me to having lapband and losing 60kgs so far.
Doing that has meant that I have been able to get off the steroids for my asthma, my blood pressure medication and my diabetes is constantly in a normal range.
3 years ago I was able to go on a road trip with Jade and meet some of those from EMC that supported me through those times. I could do so much more than ever before.
Last year I did a charity walk and this year is full of doing all those things that you keep saying 'I should do that one day'.
While my 40's may have started and possibly ended early, through determination and life changes, I am getting to see it through to my 50's. From writing a lot of my thoughts and feelings down, I am finding new ways to deal with life.
I have so many people in my life that I am grateful for - Jan, Colleen, Veronica, Kerrie who are the family I choose and who have been there for me. The emc crowd, who are no longer faceless to me, but another source of strength. I am blessed to have you all in my life. These people have been through the good and the bad, they don't judge me, or expect me to behave in certain way. They accept me for who I am - warts and all.
So now I embark onto my journey of the nifty fifties. I am sure it will have its ups and downs, but I also know that I will come out fighting and enjoying it as much as possible.
I don't even know why these thoughts were in my head, maybe it was triggered by a dream or a subconscious memory. Whatever the cause, it was not going to go until I got up to put it on paper.... well on computer screen.
So what is it that makes sleep evasive? I guess you would call it a reflection of the past 10 years. Yes, as I am about to enter my fifties, I was remembering the last decade.
While my 20's were mainly full of happiness and my 30's a blur, my 40's have been full of some of my highest highs and lowest lows and greatest achievements (apart from my kids).
Ten years ago I joined an online forum with the name of emailcash (emc). This forum was later going to give me some of my greatest support and dearest of friends to enter my life.
At the age of 42 and Ryan being nearly 16, he had to have rods inserted in his back. We were told that there was a 2% chance that he would lose any movement that he had. Pfffft what is 2%, nothing really but yet more than you can ever imagine.
Ryan was able to feed himself, move his arms - not with full movement, but enough to do the things he wanted to do. He had head control and could be transferred easily. He could be laying on his side and roll onto his back. This is what 2% looks like! But I am getting ahead of myself.
Ryan was booked in to have the op. My plan was to stay with him until he went into theatre, then come home, to return when the op was finished 7 hours later. But the doctors told me that I wasn't going to be allowed to leave and had to stay at the hospital, just in case.
So to the rescue the faceless people of EMC. A lovely woman with the online name of tauruschild, came and sat with me the whole time that Ryan was in theatre. Another by the name of pozzie, took updates to inform those online. They kept my nerves in check and me sane.
Two weeks after coming out, Ryan was back in. His back had opened up and it needed to be opened right up and cleaned out. This is when I first got to meet Floyd face to face. He took Peter and I to dinner near the hospital while Ryan was in theatre. Another stint in icu and on the ward and then Ryan was home again.
Once recovery was over, then we found he had none of the previous movement that he was capable of.
This, then led to a spiral of me punishing myself. While as a mother of a DMD boy, you can have genetic tests that say your not a carer, but that it was a mutant egg that cause it. You still have the guilt that you had the mutant egg. Yes I know that doesn't make sense, but no one said things had to be rational. So each set back for him, you feel guilt, then punish yourself.
So this led me at around 44, by my doctor telling me, that if I didn't do something soon, that I wouldn't see 50. So after 32 years of smoking, I gave up - cold turkey. I was quite proud of myself. Not long after, I had the worse asthma attack of my life. See what healthy living does for you lol.
I ended up in the Wesley for around 10 days. Afterwards the specialist told me, that when I was admitted, he had thought I would never leave alive. Again the people of emc were there to visit and ring with offers of help.
Now it was also around this time (or maybe a year or so before) that I took over secret santa on emc. In September each year, people would sign up to send a gift or card to another person. A co-ordinator would give you a name and address of someone to send to. I did this for 5 years and it gave me a great senses of achievement. By the time I stopped, there were over 300 people participating and thousands of cards being sent around the country.
Doing this, meant that I got to know people even better than I would of. I haven't been on the forum for years, but still have those that I got close to, in my life.
Anyway, back to my hospital stint. After getting out I had to go for a sleep study which showed I had sleep apnoea. I started to punish myself in a new way - eating. My weight went up to 167kg. Then one day I had chest pains and ended up going by ambulance to Ipswich hospital, who then sent me by ambulance to ccu at the Wesley.
Again a specialist there said to lose weight or die. So that led me to having lapband and losing 60kgs so far.
Doing that has meant that I have been able to get off the steroids for my asthma, my blood pressure medication and my diabetes is constantly in a normal range.
3 years ago I was able to go on a road trip with Jade and meet some of those from EMC that supported me through those times. I could do so much more than ever before.
Last year I did a charity walk and this year is full of doing all those things that you keep saying 'I should do that one day'.
While my 40's may have started and possibly ended early, through determination and life changes, I am getting to see it through to my 50's. From writing a lot of my thoughts and feelings down, I am finding new ways to deal with life.
I have so many people in my life that I am grateful for - Jan, Colleen, Veronica, Kerrie who are the family I choose and who have been there for me. The emc crowd, who are no longer faceless to me, but another source of strength. I am blessed to have you all in my life. These people have been through the good and the bad, they don't judge me, or expect me to behave in certain way. They accept me for who I am - warts and all.
So now I embark onto my journey of the nifty fifties. I am sure it will have its ups and downs, but I also know that I will come out fighting and enjoying it as much as possible.
Saturday 28 July 2012
List update
Just a quick update. Went and saw Jersey Boys and it was great. Need to pull my finger out and get some more done over the next couple of months.
1. Read
3. Go on a holiday, hopefully to Melbourne. I was last there in 1984, so just a few years ago lol
5. Go down another 20kgs (gotten a bit stuck at the moment)
6. Get a lot more writing from my autobiography done - Been doing heaps of that
7. Have lunch or dinner at Bretts wharf or Aria Brisbane - Peter's boss said he is taking me for my birthday
8. Go through the glow worm caves at Springbrook hopefully when the glow fungi is out as well or the fireflies
10. Have a tarot reading - have the name of someone really good in Fernvale
1
15. Go to a zoo
16. Go to brisbane city markets
17. Brisbane's koala and river cruise
18. Toowoomba carnival of flowers
1
20. Go to Q1 lookout
21. Get my bonsai started
22. crystal castle at mullumbimby
28. be part of a flash mob - now where does someone find these people
29. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring.
31. Go on a retreat
34. Swim in the ocean - haven't done this for many many years
35. Go to an opera or listen or an opera singer - don't know if I could sit through a whole opera.
36. Spend a night at maleny/montville
37. Hold a snake - to overcome a fear (Went on the Brisbane wheel to overcome fear of heights but had to get off, so only went around once. Never again lol )
38. Attend the good food festival
39. feed the homeless - was looking into this a couple of months ago but didn't do anything about it. (contacted agencies but none have gotten back to me yet)
40. do a belly dancing class - well I have enough belly to wobble haha
42. queen mary falls walk
44. host a murder mystery dinner party - have the game here, now to organize
45. Put $5 a day into money box - use it for something special at the end of the year. - been doing this
46. Have a games night with friends
48. Trike ride from Gold Coast to Mt Tambourine wineries
49. Ride on a carousel
50. Have a kick arse birthday party (venue, dj, food sorted. Decorations started)
Tuesday 10 July 2012
Books
Everything evokes a memory within you. Today it was talking about Puberty Blues the book. It had me returning to a journey of years past.
Mills and Boon. I (and any of my friends from school also will) remember a friend Belinda, who use to sit in class pretending to read a text book, all the while a Mills and Boon was hidden inside it. She was always getting into trouble for reading them in class. My thoughts were always that I would never read that dribble. Hmmm, well I think Belinda might of been ahead of her time, as here I am some 30 odd years later and yes, I read Mills and Boon. I must say though, that they are a lot more racy now than back then.
When Puberty Blues came out, it was THE book to read. A story that told of how things really were with a lot of young girls at the time. Also a book that had my mother asking 'why I was reading that rot'.
The books that I was reading that I didn't let my mother know about - she was a mills and boon reader - were Valley of the Dolls, and Jackie Collins books. These books were all about the things that you couldn't, or rather were not allowed to talk about: drugs and sex.
These days, when you compare the once tame Mills and Boons to them, they are getting pretty much on par of content.
Its funny when you start to think about the time when you read those books. You get a happy warmth through your body and a smile on your face. Whether it was the content or that it was a time of freedom and fun, it brings on a great feeling. One of being relaxed and carefree.
Another book from that era and one that I wish to get and read again - Sunshine by Norma Klein. Based on the true story of Jacquelyn Helton and her battle with a terminal condition while raising her young child. One that whether reading the book or watching the movie, you needed tissues.
As a young girl, I always use to take The Diary of Anne Frank, out of the library. The library use to be on the corner of Nicholas and Limestone streets in Ipswich. The Diary of Anne Frank was in the adult section upstairs from the children's books. The librarian use to say 'you're taking it out again!!' Must be where my love of autobiographies started.
Way back in 1997 I think it was. I met a woman on the net called Constance Foland. I can't even remember how I met her to start with, but she asked me to help her with a book she was writing. It was about a young girl with a friend with muscular dystrophy. She wanted my imput as to what would and wouldn't be possible for this boy to do.
When the book was published she sent me a copy of the book. It was really interesting to read the things I had said to put in and the changes I had said needed to happen. It made me feel a real part of it.
And although I have enjoyed all the books above, you can't beat a good biography. I tend to go more for those that aren't of famous people. Broken - the story of a survivor of child abuse, so bad that most others would not have come out of it as strong as Shy Keenan.
Don't tell mum I work on the oil rigs:she thinks I am a piano player in a whore house - a story by and about Paul Carter. This one had me laughing so much at times that I was crying. It tells of his travels around the world working on oil rigs and what they get up to off work hours.
Mills and Boon. I (and any of my friends from school also will) remember a friend Belinda, who use to sit in class pretending to read a text book, all the while a Mills and Boon was hidden inside it. She was always getting into trouble for reading them in class. My thoughts were always that I would never read that dribble. Hmmm, well I think Belinda might of been ahead of her time, as here I am some 30 odd years later and yes, I read Mills and Boon. I must say though, that they are a lot more racy now than back then.
When Puberty Blues came out, it was THE book to read. A story that told of how things really were with a lot of young girls at the time. Also a book that had my mother asking 'why I was reading that rot'.
The books that I was reading that I didn't let my mother know about - she was a mills and boon reader - were Valley of the Dolls, and Jackie Collins books. These books were all about the things that you couldn't, or rather were not allowed to talk about: drugs and sex.
These days, when you compare the once tame Mills and Boons to them, they are getting pretty much on par of content.
Its funny when you start to think about the time when you read those books. You get a happy warmth through your body and a smile on your face. Whether it was the content or that it was a time of freedom and fun, it brings on a great feeling. One of being relaxed and carefree.
Another book from that era and one that I wish to get and read again - Sunshine by Norma Klein. Based on the true story of Jacquelyn Helton and her battle with a terminal condition while raising her young child. One that whether reading the book or watching the movie, you needed tissues.
As a young girl, I always use to take The Diary of Anne Frank, out of the library. The library use to be on the corner of Nicholas and Limestone streets in Ipswich. The Diary of Anne Frank was in the adult section upstairs from the children's books. The librarian use to say 'you're taking it out again!!' Must be where my love of autobiographies started.
Way back in 1997 I think it was. I met a woman on the net called Constance Foland. I can't even remember how I met her to start with, but she asked me to help her with a book she was writing. It was about a young girl with a friend with muscular dystrophy. She wanted my imput as to what would and wouldn't be possible for this boy to do.
When the book was published she sent me a copy of the book. It was really interesting to read the things I had said to put in and the changes I had said needed to happen. It made me feel a real part of it.
And although I have enjoyed all the books above, you can't beat a good biography. I tend to go more for those that aren't of famous people. Broken - the story of a survivor of child abuse, so bad that most others would not have come out of it as strong as Shy Keenan.
Don't tell mum I work on the oil rigs:she thinks I am a piano player in a whore house - a story by and about Paul Carter. This one had me laughing so much at times that I was crying. It tells of his travels around the world working on oil rigs and what they get up to off work hours.
Reading can teach you, transfer your mind to fantasy worlds, make you happy, sad, angry and every emotion in between. It can let you remember times now gone and keep your memories alive.
Its also one of the biggest gifts that you can give to your child.
Friday 29 June 2012
Dreams
Do you ever have a dream that just seems to stay with you? I had one a couple of nights ago. I wonder what the dream readers would make of this one.
I was on a cruise and I think with Peter, but that is a bit hazy. It seemed to be an around this world type of cruise.
Anyway, we had docked in an African country. The reason for being here, was that we were going to see the world's greatest wonder... although none of us knew what it was. The crew had told us that the reason we were in this port, was that we had to wait for the tide to come in, so that the ship could be manoeuvred to the area we were going and that the ships that were there would get out.
For whatever reason, the tide was very detailed. Where the other ships were, would have high tide while we were still low. Then they would sail out and we would all pass at a point where the high/low tide met. Once in this area, we had to wait until the next tide change to do what we had to and get out.
The other thing we were told, was to not go too far. If the ship left dock before we got back on, there was no way to join back up until everything was over.
With nothing really to look at in this village. I decided to go for a walk. As I walked along, some African children joined me. The more that joined the quicker I walked, until finally I was doing a slow jog.... and loving it.
I was heading up a dusty, dirt road. It was quiet steep, but the further up I got the faster I ran. As I reached the top, I was suddenly on a cliff edge. I was waving my arms around in a circle trying to get my balance without falling. My heart was racing and my breathing stopped. But more than that, my body was feeling joyous. A huge, amazing wondrous sight was before me.
My body stabilized, but that didn't matter. I was too busy taking in what was before me. In the distance was a line of cruise ships. They were waiting for the tide to rise. When a wave came in, a ship would ride it and rise higher and higher into the air. No one was on the decks, as it was too dangerous to be out, due to the swaying of the ship from side to side. You could see everyone inside, glued to the windows, with what I imagine was the same look on my face.
Before them and me, was an amazing gold and stone lost Inca temple. I could only see the roof and part of the back as I looked down on it, but those on the ship, rose up to be level and see it in all its glory.
As that ship went out with the wave, another came in and so on until they all got to see it. I had a nervous excitement run through my body. I knew that I would be hurt from the throwing around on the ship, but did I want to miss this once in a lifetime opportunity.
I started to run as fast as I could down the hill and back towards the dock. I wanted to ring Peter or the ship and tell them I was coming and I wanted to do this. But I had forgotten my phone. I ran faster and faster and was amazed that my asthma didn't play up and happy that it didn't since I also had left the ship without my inhaler.
As I ran into the village I couldn't find the ship. In fact I couldn't even find any water. There was a compound with armed military guards around it. I tried to ask them where the ship was. They didn't speak English but just kept pushing me out of the area with their guns.
I had stopped and searched the skyline for any sign of a ship above the buildings but nothing........then my alarm woke me.
I was on a cruise and I think with Peter, but that is a bit hazy. It seemed to be an around this world type of cruise.
Anyway, we had docked in an African country. The reason for being here, was that we were going to see the world's greatest wonder... although none of us knew what it was. The crew had told us that the reason we were in this port, was that we had to wait for the tide to come in, so that the ship could be manoeuvred to the area we were going and that the ships that were there would get out.
For whatever reason, the tide was very detailed. Where the other ships were, would have high tide while we were still low. Then they would sail out and we would all pass at a point where the high/low tide met. Once in this area, we had to wait until the next tide change to do what we had to and get out.
The other thing we were told, was to not go too far. If the ship left dock before we got back on, there was no way to join back up until everything was over.
With nothing really to look at in this village. I decided to go for a walk. As I walked along, some African children joined me. The more that joined the quicker I walked, until finally I was doing a slow jog.... and loving it.
I was heading up a dusty, dirt road. It was quiet steep, but the further up I got the faster I ran. As I reached the top, I was suddenly on a cliff edge. I was waving my arms around in a circle trying to get my balance without falling. My heart was racing and my breathing stopped. But more than that, my body was feeling joyous. A huge, amazing wondrous sight was before me.
My body stabilized, but that didn't matter. I was too busy taking in what was before me. In the distance was a line of cruise ships. They were waiting for the tide to rise. When a wave came in, a ship would ride it and rise higher and higher into the air. No one was on the decks, as it was too dangerous to be out, due to the swaying of the ship from side to side. You could see everyone inside, glued to the windows, with what I imagine was the same look on my face.
Before them and me, was an amazing gold and stone lost Inca temple. I could only see the roof and part of the back as I looked down on it, but those on the ship, rose up to be level and see it in all its glory.
As that ship went out with the wave, another came in and so on until they all got to see it. I had a nervous excitement run through my body. I knew that I would be hurt from the throwing around on the ship, but did I want to miss this once in a lifetime opportunity.
I started to run as fast as I could down the hill and back towards the dock. I wanted to ring Peter or the ship and tell them I was coming and I wanted to do this. But I had forgotten my phone. I ran faster and faster and was amazed that my asthma didn't play up and happy that it didn't since I also had left the ship without my inhaler.
As I ran into the village I couldn't find the ship. In fact I couldn't even find any water. There was a compound with armed military guards around it. I tried to ask them where the ship was. They didn't speak English but just kept pushing me out of the area with their guns.
I had stopped and searched the skyline for any sign of a ship above the buildings but nothing........then my alarm woke me.
Sunday 17 June 2012
Cup Day
Thank you to my friend Veronica for making it possible for me to cross off number 4 on my list of attending a Cup Day.
Last month, Veronica a friend of mine or as I say with much fondness 'that we put up with each other', asked if I wanted to go to Ipswich Cup. After some thought I said yes and so the build up to the day began.
I can't remember if I told you that I had bought a dress for my party while on holidays at the Sunshine Coast. A lovely electric blue dress with black beads. It was originally $110 but I got it for $25 on sale. Bargain!! So I decided to wear this to the Ipswich Cup.
As I am not a big shoe person, I already had my standard sandals to wear and I had a bag to match. So that only left a hat. I dragged Peter around and we found that since it wasn't Melbourne Cup time, hats were not to be found. In the end I found a hat at Target on sale. The flower on it was the wrong colour, so I bought another, some feathers, blue diamantes and walla!, a hat was born. Earring to match - yes on sale and my whole outfit cost me under $40.
On the day Peter drove Veronica, her husband Doug, Joel her daughters boyfriend, her friends Maree and Michelle and myself to the cup. We met Veronica's brother Brendan, or as he is affectantly known 'cranky pants'. I must say, we were a very smart looking bunch.
After a short trek down the street, over grass and across the track, we arrived at the Breezers Marquee. It was easy to find a table for us to sit at, scoop out the surroundings of all the important areas - betting area, check, bar area check.
We had tips from a friend of Veronica's (Warren if you are reading this, Doug and I thought your tips stunk lol). I thought instead of going back and forth I would put the whole days worth of bets on all at the beginning. Probably a wise idea as I knew then how much I had spent and didn't get carried away like some of the guys I saw there, when going back and forth to place bets.
One thing I had thought of doing was to have a big breakfast, since I knew I would be drinking. This I think saved me any embarrassment. You have heard me say I don't drink very much, with 2 or 3 drinks in a session my limit. Yesterday was my once in a blue moon exception to this. I started with a bottle of wine (was equal to 2 standard drinks in the bottles), 2 bottles of champagne by which time my throat was starting to burn from the acid in the drinks.
When I was younger I use to drink Barcardi a lot, but in the last probably 30 years, have only had it once or twice. Since I am not a barcardi and lolly water type of person, I opted for the cans of Barcardi and Cola. It was like saying hello to an old friend. I think I had about 5 of those by the end of the day.
Drinks were included in the price of the ticket for 6 hours and finger foods included for 4 hours. Finger food consisted of pies, sausage rolls, sushi, wraps cut into inch rounds with ham, roast beef, cheese and lettuce. There were spring rolls, money bags, prawn twists and probably other things I have forgotten.
The porta loos were an experience and goes to show I don't get out much. I figured out how to get the water to wash my hands after a while, but had to ask how to flush the toilet as I couldn't figure it out and didn't want to push anything that might have the toilet falling through the floor.
Veronica and I went for a wander around, found the beauty tent where they wanted to fix our hair and make-up. I asked them if we looked that bad and she didn't reply, just gave me vouchers for their salon haha. I got to put a bet on with a bookie, which didn't win.
Doug who had been MIA returned but really just to go to sleep at the table. A group of guys seated near us were entertaining when they got on their chairs to belt out Sweet Caroline.
All in all it was a fantastic day and one that I will repeat again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Again I have updated my list. One of the things that isn't on here but I achieved recently is crocheting a knee rug. Every year I buy wool and start a rug and don't even get through one ball of wool before I stop. This year I got some lovely chenille wool and for a week set a task of 2 balls a day, and am very pleased to say I finished it.
So now for this winter I have a lovely warm blanket to keep my legs warm.
1. Read50 34 books in the year. Doesn't matter what type but as long as its 50 and I will be able to keep track with my new kindle.
2. Do another cooking class. At least 1 but hopefully 2. So far done 5, one of which was with Jamie Oliver and one on the ship
3. Go on a holiday, hopefully to Melbourne. I was last there in 1984, so just a few years ago lol
4. Go to a horse 'cup' day
5. Go down another 20kgs (gotten a bit stuck at the moment)
6. Get a lot more writing from my autobiography done - Been doing heaps of that
7. Have lunch or dinner at Bretts wharf or Aria Brisbane - Peter's boss said he is taking me for my birthday
8. Go through the glow worm caves at Springbrook hopefully when the glow fungi is out as well or the fireflies
9. Do a charity event - with not a lot of walking done today MDAQ walk
10. Have a tarot reading - have the name of someone really good in Fernvale
11. Go to a musical (booked for Jersey Boys in July)
12. Go to gold class movie
13. Go on a cruise - booked and leaving in April
14. Get a fish - either fighter or gold fish or two. Now have Elvis my blue suede fighting fish
15. Go to a zoo
16. Go to brisbane city markets
17. Brisbane's koala and river cruise
18. Toowoomba carnival of flowers
19. Attend a dawn service
20. Go to Q1 lookout
21. Have a flying lesson - can't do stimulation due to weight restrictions so will have to think of something else for this one.
22. crystal castle at mullumbimby
23. do a cross stitch
24. have a facial Have had a couple now
25. have a massage
26. try a new food Tried dragon fruit and poppadoms and some vegetarian dishes so far and now macaroons
27. aqua aerobics classes. Done and going to do more
28. be part of a flash mob - now where does someone find these people
29. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring.
30. Get family tree in order - got heaps of this done
31. Go on a retreat
32. Go to the comedy club
33. Play blackjack at the casino - done and won
34. Swim in the ocean - haven't done this for many many years
35. Go to an opera or listen or an opera singer - don't know if I could sit through a whole opera.
36. Spend a night at maleny/montville
37. Hold a snake - to overcome a fear (Went on the Brisbane wheel to overcome fear of heights but had to get off, so only went around once. Never again lol )
38. Attend the good food festival
39. feed the homeless - was looking into this a couple of months ago but didn't do anything about it. (contacted agencies but none have gotten back to me yet)
40. do a belly dancing class - well I have enough belly to wobble haha
41. try a new drink tried lots of new ones now lol
42. queen mary falls walk
43. drink a cocktail done and dusted
44. host a murder mystery dinner party - have the game here, now to organize
45. Put $5 a day into money box - use it for something special at the end of the year. - been doing this
46. Have a games night with friends
47. Put $50 on black at the casino for my first and only bet at the table. and won
48. Trike ride from Gold Coast to Mt Tambourine wineries
49. Ride on a carousel
50. Have a kick arse birthday party (venue, dj, food sorted. Decorations started)
Last month, Veronica a friend of mine or as I say with much fondness 'that we put up with each other', asked if I wanted to go to Ipswich Cup. After some thought I said yes and so the build up to the day began.
I can't remember if I told you that I had bought a dress for my party while on holidays at the Sunshine Coast. A lovely electric blue dress with black beads. It was originally $110 but I got it for $25 on sale. Bargain!! So I decided to wear this to the Ipswich Cup.
As I am not a big shoe person, I already had my standard sandals to wear and I had a bag to match. So that only left a hat. I dragged Peter around and we found that since it wasn't Melbourne Cup time, hats were not to be found. In the end I found a hat at Target on sale. The flower on it was the wrong colour, so I bought another, some feathers, blue diamantes and walla!, a hat was born. Earring to match - yes on sale and my whole outfit cost me under $40.
On the day Peter drove Veronica, her husband Doug, Joel her daughters boyfriend, her friends Maree and Michelle and myself to the cup. We met Veronica's brother Brendan, or as he is affectantly known 'cranky pants'. I must say, we were a very smart looking bunch.
After a short trek down the street, over grass and across the track, we arrived at the Breezers Marquee. It was easy to find a table for us to sit at, scoop out the surroundings of all the important areas - betting area, check, bar area check.
We had tips from a friend of Veronica's (Warren if you are reading this, Doug and I thought your tips stunk lol). I thought instead of going back and forth I would put the whole days worth of bets on all at the beginning. Probably a wise idea as I knew then how much I had spent and didn't get carried away like some of the guys I saw there, when going back and forth to place bets.
One thing I had thought of doing was to have a big breakfast, since I knew I would be drinking. This I think saved me any embarrassment. You have heard me say I don't drink very much, with 2 or 3 drinks in a session my limit. Yesterday was my once in a blue moon exception to this. I started with a bottle of wine (was equal to 2 standard drinks in the bottles), 2 bottles of champagne by which time my throat was starting to burn from the acid in the drinks.
When I was younger I use to drink Barcardi a lot, but in the last probably 30 years, have only had it once or twice. Since I am not a barcardi and lolly water type of person, I opted for the cans of Barcardi and Cola. It was like saying hello to an old friend. I think I had about 5 of those by the end of the day.
Drinks were included in the price of the ticket for 6 hours and finger foods included for 4 hours. Finger food consisted of pies, sausage rolls, sushi, wraps cut into inch rounds with ham, roast beef, cheese and lettuce. There were spring rolls, money bags, prawn twists and probably other things I have forgotten.
The porta loos were an experience and goes to show I don't get out much. I figured out how to get the water to wash my hands after a while, but had to ask how to flush the toilet as I couldn't figure it out and didn't want to push anything that might have the toilet falling through the floor.
Veronica and I went for a wander around, found the beauty tent where they wanted to fix our hair and make-up. I asked them if we looked that bad and she didn't reply, just gave me vouchers for their salon haha. I got to put a bet on with a bookie, which didn't win.
Doug who had been MIA returned but really just to go to sleep at the table. A group of guys seated near us were entertaining when they got on their chairs to belt out Sweet Caroline.
All in all it was a fantastic day and one that I will repeat again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Again I have updated my list. One of the things that isn't on here but I achieved recently is crocheting a knee rug. Every year I buy wool and start a rug and don't even get through one ball of wool before I stop. This year I got some lovely chenille wool and for a week set a task of 2 balls a day, and am very pleased to say I finished it.
So now for this winter I have a lovely warm blanket to keep my legs warm.
1. Read
3. Go on a holiday, hopefully to Melbourne. I was last there in 1984, so just a few years ago lol
5. Go down another 20kgs (gotten a bit stuck at the moment)
6. Get a lot more writing from my autobiography done - Been doing heaps of that
7. Have lunch or dinner at Bretts wharf or Aria Brisbane - Peter's boss said he is taking me for my birthday
8. Go through the glow worm caves at Springbrook hopefully when the glow fungi is out as well or the fireflies
10. Have a tarot reading - have the name of someone really good in Fernvale
11. Go to a musical (booked for Jersey Boys in July)
1
15. Go to a zoo
16. Go to brisbane city markets
17. Brisbane's koala and river cruise
18. Toowoomba carnival of flowers
1
20. Go to Q1 lookout
21. Have a flying lesson - can't do stimulation due to weight restrictions so will have to think of something else for this one.
22. crystal castle at mullumbimby
23. do a cross stitch
28. be part of a flash mob - now where does someone find these people
29. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring.
30. Get family tree in order - got heaps of this done
31. Go on a retreat
34. Swim in the ocean - haven't done this for many many years
35. Go to an opera or listen or an opera singer - don't know if I could sit through a whole opera.
36. Spend a night at maleny/montville
37. Hold a snake - to overcome a fear (Went on the Brisbane wheel to overcome fear of heights but had to get off, so only went around once. Never again lol )
38. Attend the good food festival
39. feed the homeless - was looking into this a couple of months ago but didn't do anything about it. (contacted agencies but none have gotten back to me yet)
40. do a belly dancing class - well I have enough belly to wobble haha
42. queen mary falls walk
44. host a murder mystery dinner party - have the game here, now to organize
45. Put $5 a day into money box - use it for something special at the end of the year. - been doing this
46. Have a games night with friends
48. Trike ride from Gold Coast to Mt Tambourine wineries
49. Ride on a carousel
50. Have a kick arse birthday party (venue, dj, food sorted. Decorations started)
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