50 things in 50 years

Sitting here tonight I started to think about next year and turning 50 and the things I want to do. Then it came to me - do 50 things to celebrate 50 years. So I will start my list, hopefully get to think of 50 things and if anyone can give suggestions or help then let me know

1. Read 50 books in the year. Doesn't matter what type but as long as its 50 and I will be able to keep track with my new kindle.
2. Do another cooking class. At least 1 but hopefully 2.
3. Go on a holiday, hopefully to Melbourne. I was last there in 1984, so just a few years ago lol
4. Go to a horse 'cup' day
5. Go down another 20kgs
6. Get a lot more writing from my autobiography done
7. Have lunch or dinner at Bretts wharf or Aria Brisbane
8. Go through the glow worm caves at Springbrook hopefully when the glow fungi is out as well or the fireflies
9. Do a charity event - with not a lot of walking
10. Have a tarot reading
11. Go to a musical
12. Go to gold class movie
13. Go on a cruise - probably won't happen but you never know
14. Get a fish - either fighter or gold fish or two. When I was single I had 2 goldfish, 1 black and 1 gold called Abraham and Lincoln lol
15. Go to a zoo
16. Go to brisbane city markets
17. Brisbane's koala and river cruise
18. Toowoomba carnival of flowers
19. Attend a dawn service
20. Go to Q1 lookout
21. Have a flying lesson
22. crystal castle at mullumbimby
23. do a cross stitch
24. have a facial
25. have a massage
26. try a new food
27. aqua aerobics classes
28. be part of a flash mob - now where does someone find these people
29. Drive a convertible with the top down and music blaring.
30. Get family tree in order
31. Go on a retreat
32. Go to the comedy club
33. Play blackjack at the casino - must remember to take extra shirt to lose since I have never played it lol
34. Swim in the ocean - haven't done this for many many years
35. Go to an opera or listen or an opera singer - don't know if I could sit through a whole opera.
36. Spend a night at maleny/montville
37. Hold a snake - to overcome a fear
38. Attend the good food festival
39. feed the homeless - was looking into this a couple of months ago but didn't do anything about it.
40. do a belly dancing class - well I have enough belly to wobble haha
41. try a new drink
42. queen mary falls walk
43. drink a cocktail - last cocktail was in about 1979 and it was a fluffy duck and its the only one I have ever tasted.
44. host a murder mystery dinner party - have the game here, now to organize
45. Put $5 a day into money box - use it for something special at the end of the year.
46. Have a games night with friends
47. Put $50 on black at the casino for my first and only bet at the table.
48. Trike ride from Gold Coast to Mt Tamborine wineries
49. Ride on a carousel
50. Have a kick arse birthday party

Boy this is hard lol. I know I won't get to do everything on the list, but will give it a bloody good go.

Ideas people I need them to fill the list up haha.

Vent, vent and more vent.

You would think that by now I would of learnt, but no I make the same mistakes over again.

Lets go back to Sunday. Woke at 4am with asthma, had a slight headache most of the day. Had lunch with friends from school and had a fantastic time. At the end of the afternoon, I was helping Jade to clean up the club and suddenly went pale, felt like I would pass out and then the aching started. Every muscle and joint in my body hurt, even under my feet. I had to get Jade to drive me home, since I didn't trust myself to. Got home and went to sleep. Woke no better but tried to eat a bit, then back to bed. Next day I woke with my asthma still playing up, but at least most of the aching was gone.

Now due to this, it meant that Peter puts in more time with Ryan when he should be sleeping before getting up at 3am for work. I then get guilty, so end up staying up longer and longer each night, so that he can rest. That in turn makes me cranky pants.

This week also saw my orders from big w, groupon and godeals not arriving, when they were all due around 2 weeks ago. In phone calls with big w, I would get frustrated as every call I was told a different story, until today they finally admitted they have no idea where it is. I will tell them where to put it shortly. I am sure some three legged blind reindeer is bringing it to me while reading his map upside down.

Today I also ring origin electricity to change the plan I am on. Prior to ring, as you do, I looked up best deals online by them and competitors. Rang up and the guy offered me a better deal on usage but gave me a ridiculous price on supply. I pointed out to him that on the site it lists it at a certain price. He told me that was wrong and wouldn't budge, so I didn't change it. Did some more research and rang back and got someone different. Yes the price I had seen online was right and he didn't know where the guy got the higher price from. Grrrr what a friggin waste of time that was. Why they first person couldn't look it up properly I will never know.

All this on top of terrible customer service in stores these days, has me thinking I will never buy anything ever again.

Last night I was on a facebook page that I frequent. Someone there had commented that they had stumbled across a Muslim trading post page. It went into a big deal with people calling them racist and one person ringing channel 10, telling them the site had only been opened 1 day and 431 listings and what a worry that was. Being in the mood I was in and normally would of just ignored it, I went in with my two cents worth. Before doing it, I went and looked at the site. It had been running since 2002 and the 431 posts were in 9 years, not 1 day. They weren't doing anything wrong and the site said that people had to act within the Muslim upbringing guidelines... which basically worded into honour. I had a couple of bites back. But when I pointed out that it was really no different to the catholic leader and that the post was inciting racism that it got deleted.

You don't have to agree with other people's beliefs, but as long as they are not harming me or my friends, then that is fine.

So in this week of sickness, tiredness and grumpiness, the toll shows on my body with my lap band. After going to Ryan every bloody 20 mins until 2am, then him calling out today for help and me rushing and not thinking, I end up drinking to fast. When I am stressed my band is tighter, so drinking fast meant it came up just as quick.

So tomorrow is a new day, time for me to take some deep breathes and relax and get back on track to only slightly grumpy lol.

Crystal Therapy - autobiography

Many years ago I did a course with a friend, Leigh Wilkins. It was a healing at home course that ran for 10 weeks. Each week we learnt the basics of a different natural therapy - massage, aromatherapy, reflexology, colour therapy, just to name a few. One of the things that really jumped out and appealed to me was crystal therapy. It seemed to tie a few of the ones together - crystals, aromatherapy, meditation and colour therapy.

Wanting to know more, I went to some treatments with Peter Hall in Karalee. Being a bit of a sceptic, I didn't say anything about what aliments I had, just wanting to see what happened. Amazingly, all my problem areas came up to be worked on, along with some emotional issues. Afterwards I felt great. I sent Peter off as well and the same thing happened to him

Peter was a registered teacher and offered me the opportunity to become a healer myself. I jumped at the chance and for the next 2 years I studied for my diploma in crystal therapy.

I had to have 5 people that I would work on over this time and do reports on. Five of my friends volunteered and we went from there. Crystal therapy also takes you on a journey of spirituality as well. Its not affiliated with any religion, but you work with all the masters - Buddha, Jesus, St Germaine, Kuthumi, Sanat Kumara etc.

When I first learnt one particular meditation, you had to go to a room and you would see someone and could ask them a question and they would answer it. After it was over, I was describing the person I saw. Peter Hall pulled out a book that he had called Visions of the ascended masters. He opened one page and ask me if that was the person, I said no. He opened another and there was the exact person I had seen. Now I had never seen the picture before but it was Sanat Kumara. Another time on doing this same meditation on a friend, she described what she said was a skinny Santa. Later on I showed her a picture from the same book of Lord Maitreya and she immediately said that was him. She also had never seen the pic before.

One of the friends I was working on lived with her mum and nan. I knew them all and had always thought that Tara's dad had passed away. He was never mentioned in all the years I knew her. Working on her one day, it came up that I had to work on areas related to her dad. On using my pendulum while working on her, it told me through yes and no questions, that her dad was alive and some other things about him. When i had finished the treatment, I asked her about her dad and it turns out that everything 'told' to me was correct.

Now I have mentioned the pendulum. You use this to ask yes and no questions. Your pendulum is only yours and will give you signs for yes and a different for no. It is used to tell you what part of the body you need to work on, what charka's need pulling back in or opening and various other things. The one thing you can't do, and that a lot of people make the mistake of, is asking personal questions about yourself. You will influence the answer. As an example, a friend was pregnant. At a party the woman selling some pendulums said that you could use them for yourself. Angela used it and it said she was having a girl, which is what she wanted. I did it and it said a boy and overdue and she was.

With crystal therapy you do everything from relieving period pain, bad backs, rsi to past life regressions, house clearance and helping people to accept they are dying. Hubby's friend had come over and I told him I had to work on his panaceas and that maybe he should see a doctor. He came back a few days later and told me I was a witch haha. He had gone to the doctor and his sugar level was in the 20's and he then had tests and was diagnosed with diabetes,.

I had a varying mix of people who use to come to me for treatment - carers, labourers, doctors, housewives, people who brought their kids to me, bikers.

I had to stop when life got in the way, but plan to restart again sometime soon.

The Farm - autobiography

I have briefly spoken about my grandparents farm, today I tell you more.

I loved that place. While I can't remember what the house itself looked like, I can remember a lot about it. It was outside of Gympie. The entrance of the driveway was where the metal tin were left with milk in them to be picked up. On the right hand side of the driveway - which was just a dirt track really - was the bull's paddock. I remember me along with my cousins Neville and Wayne, would go down there with something red and run like blazes if the bull looked at us.

The driveway then made its way up the hill to the house. Looking out the back of the house was the farmland. Looking to the right was the milking shed, where the cows were milked morning and night. I can still picture the machine that went onto their udders to get the milk. Pa use to do this by himself. Looking back now, it must of been hard work, getting them all in and then the milking and taking the milk down to the fence to be collected.

I don't remember a lot of inside the house, but I do remember the phone. It was one that you had to wind the handle to talk to the operator. We use to do that just to see how it worked.

I know Pa had his prize chickens but can't recall where they were. I remember heaps of ribbons that he had from the local show. Nana always seemed to be in the kitchen.

It probably wasn't, but it always seemed really green there and I remember that riding on Pa's tractor was a real treat. I can see myself sitting on a tree trunk and thinking I was king of the hill. Its hard to remember what is real. I know that by the time I was in about year 3 that they had moved into town.

I can't even remember if they had a horse and if that is where my love of them came from. I think this week I will have to start going through some photos that I have here and see if I can remember some more.

Secret Squirrel - autobiography

Moving onto a lighter note now. I am co-founder of the secret squirrel club, along with Leanne Robb. Its an exclusive club that many people want to become a member of, but only those hand picked can join. By now your thinking - she's friggin nuts. haha you might just be right.

It all started a couple of years ago. A friend (lets call her Leanne so she remains anonymous) and I set off on a journey of truth, justice and the Australian way of bullshitting. We were acquaintances of someone who we suspected told a lot of tall tales and wanted to know if what we thought was right.

So in the car we went, disguises in hand and cameras at the ready. As we neared our destination we donned our disguises - mine was a cap, broncos scarf and flu mask. Our first problem was to stop laughing. My flu mask had been put on wrong and looked like a duck's bill. This had us just about wetting ourselves with laughter.

We did a slow drive-by of the house and saw we were correct and it the place and area were not as told to us over the years. Yeah yeah I know stalkerish. We then headed off to view the town and what it had to offer. We saw an outfit in a store window and decided to take a photo of it - no pictures of people or even the name of the store, just the outfit. We had a senior citizen come and chase us off, telling us to come in and see it, not take a pic of it. Luckily we didn't have our disguises on at the time, that would of really scared her lol.

We found a park with a tranquil church beside it to stop at. Here beside a major highway, I again donned my disguise. Her the name of our club was created and photos were taken of Head secret squirrel playing on the swings, hiding in the bushes and we found an unusual looking root system on an old tree that provided head quarters for us.

After this we headed off into the farm area nearby to look for things that matched our farms on farmville. Photos of windmills, fences, trees followed. Its amazing what you can find.

This was the first of many SS (secret squirrel) missions. Our next one was off taking photos of UFO's - yep its true, I have the pic to prove it. We found lovers lane and played terrorists around the RAAF base area. On the way back from here I had rung Jade at her work at the Strand to say we were coming for lunch. When she told me jokingly that she would throw us out, I threatened to do coyote ugly dancing on the bar .... that got us served haha.

Another time I went with Leanne (remember this is not her real name), into Brisbane doing SS. It was raining and after Leanne trying to help me stand on a seat in New Farm Park, and me nearly falling on top of her, I got to pretend I was a trapeze artist. On the city cat we kept some Asian tourists thoroughly amused. I am sure they went home to tell everyone about the totally awesome Aussies they saw haha.

Now speaking of my co-founder, I went into her work one day. She introduced me to her boss, who proceeded to say they thought we were sisters. Now apart from the foot or two height difference and the fact we look nothing alike, this gave us some food for fodder.

We started to tell her work mates that we were sisters. They would stare really hard at us, then say 'oh yeah you have the same nose and mouth' hahaha. This then extended to us telling people that we were identical twins and only our mother can tell us apart. Would you believe that no one yet has said we're not lol. The guy at the local RSL said he could tell us apart - Leanne was the nice one and I was the nasty one haha. Now we tell people that Leanne's real name is Arnoldine and I am Danita.

So keep your eyes peeled. If you see some strange behaviour, it just could be members of the SS club checking you out.

By now your really convinced that I am nuts and need admitting. But as Peter says 'As long as I am having fun and not hurting anyone, who cares'.

Meaning of Life

Okay so what is the meaning of life? Is it just to exist or is there more to it? Sometimes it feels as if I am just being here, day in and day out. I feel like I should be doing more. Alexandra Graham Bell invented the phone and people could communicate. Others have discovered, invented or helped others in a mass way. Should the rest of us just be here to enjoy what others do, or should we get out there and try and do what we can to help mankind? If we don't, will we look back on our lives and say 'I was here', or 'I enjoyed myself' or 'I helped and left my mark for others to see'.

Most people live by the motto of - do unto others as you would have others do unto you. But do people really live this way? People might see restaurants throw away left over food and say 'why not give it to the homeless etc', but how many of the people who say that actually give their left overs away. If your electricity or phone isn't working, people complain about the inconvenience. How many go and visit neighbours to see if they need any help while these services are out? Maybe something for us all to think about.

Well thats enough profound and questioning wisdom for today. Let me know your thoughts though below.

Feelings - autobiography

I have written a lot about the pass, so thought maybe I should write about something now before I forget and it becomes the past.

The older I get the more unsettled I become. I don't know if that is the right word for it. Its a combination of feelings. I guess loneliness is one. Yes I have some great friends, but my main communication with anyone apart from family is through the net. I don't regret any of the choices I have made in regards to family, but I don't get to   see others very often. When the kids were younger and at school or sport, that meant that every week, hell nearly every day seeing other adults and talking to them, even if it was just a quick 'hi'. Now I have a once a month meeting. Every Thursday seems to get so full of appointments I don't get to be able to see anyone then and weekends occasionally I have something on with friends, but they also have their families they need to catch up with since they all work. Unless someone is here with Ryan, I can't even just pop up to the shop.

Another feeling is resentment. This is the time in our lives that we had set aside to be able to do the things we wanted. To travel, get out and do the 'adult things' that so many parents put on hold until their kids are grown. It would be nice to just be able to say 'lets go out for dinner tonight' and go or even when you see an expo on that day that you didn't know about. It all takes strategic planning and not spur of the moment. Most of the time we can't do things together as a couple. My resentment is not towards Ryan, but towards the situation we are in.

And along with those feelings comes anger, sadness, and a lot of negativity.

On the flip side, our situation has also given us the black humour that we have. Lots of laughter and a lot of things we would never have experienced in life. We would never have gone to the Sydney Olympics or to the amazing holiday house on the Gold Coast or unit on the Sunshine Coast, if it wasn't for Ryan. If I wasn't sitting at home using the net to talk to the outside world, I would never have met some of the totally amazing people I have..... or the full on fruit cakes haha.

I have found that also the older I get, the less tolerant I am. I tend to say things and be up front with people, and some can find that confronting. I need to find a happy medium with myself. I need to get back into reading for relaxation. On a side note here - I don't buy any of the magazines, but I love going to the Dr's and reading them. They are normally months old and the crap they write in them, never seems to happen eg such and such is so happy in their marriage - and they are already divorced when you read it lol.

Anyway back to what I need to do. Meditate again, oh and maybe just run away from home. lol

empty nest

No one can say that being a parent is all fun and games. It is hard work and dedication to your children. There is laughter, tears, fun and times that you think “I love you but just don’t like you at the moment”.

I started my life as a parent on 24 hour call. Changing nappies, feeding, bathing, burping and cleaning up the projectile vomiting that made the exorcist look like a kid’s movie. No one told me that the 24 hour call never stopped.

I moved onto play dates, kindy, preschool and school. Mornings were a rush to get dressed, fed and school early for band or choir practice. Pick up from school was dancing, soccer training, and other sports. During the day was tuckshop, reading in classrooms and helping with where ever I was needed in the school. Weekends full of sport or going to eisteddfods.

So that’s the first 17 years!

I was always there to lend an ear, guide when it was needed and yes to scold and be the “bad” mum. They had smacks and cuddles, time out and fun times.

Then suddenly they are gone!

When they first go, you get the daily phone calls and get asked for advice. That tapers off and you get asked things sometimes. While you were once their confidant, it is now their partner. And while this is how it should be, you are now left with time and that big empty feeling.

All those years of wishing you had time for yourself is now here. But what the hell do you do now you have this time? There are only so many treatments you can get. You find that your friends are at different stages to you – they may have not been stay at home mums and work, or they might still have children at home and are busy with them. Going to courses by yourself seems so daunting and you feel too old to learn and compete with the younger generation.

You also start to think ‘were those women that gave you “that look” when you said you were a stay-at-home mum right?’ Should I have done more for myself and not been there for the kids?

Then I think of how happy they were when they competed in a game or eisteddfod. I also remember how happy other people’s children were that someone could take them because their parents were working and unable to get time off. And I think ‘no I wouldn’t trade it at all’.

So the feeling of a big empty hole doesn’t seem so deep now. And as I was writing this my baby boy rang me – he is 19 – asking if I could do something for him and yes! I am still needed and as he told me, appreciated.

I will find something for me to fill my time, but being a mum will always be number one, even if it is just in a revived, slightly smaller way.

Babysitting - autobiography

Its funny how things come to you at the strangest of times. Cleaning the carpet this morning and my mind wandering, I thought about my brother and sister. Most times when thinking of them, its remembering of when we were kids.

My sister is 7 years younger than me. We never had anything in common or ever did anything together. My brother was 2 years younger, so being closer in age we did do some things together. We use to ride dad's motorbike, ride our horses and had some of the same friends.

What I remember most though is the Christmas I was in year 7, so 1974. Dad was driving cement trucks at this stage and mum worked at Coward's butcher shop in Nicholas Street. That left us 3 kids at home by ourselves, with me having to look after the other two. If we did anything wrong, my sister would dob. Maybe that is why I did what I did. I locked her in the laundry and told her she was a black pom and couldn't come out until she scrubbed all the paint off. Of course she was let out before mum got home and dobbed.

I can't remember the other two ever getting the strap. I guess they did, but I can't recall any time they did. I do however remember getting it. Seemed like a week didn't go by that I had it wrapped around my bum. I got to the stage of putting on about 8 pairs of undies so it wouldn't hurt. It still did though.

I had to look after my sister every holidays then until I started work in 1978. Even then, once I had my licence my parents would go away for weekends, leaving me in charge of the other two and having to run them around. They did something wrong and I got into trouble for it, I did something wrong and I got into trouble for it. What a win/win situation for me!

When I had my kids, I was very careful not to put this type of responsibility on them. I didn't want them to have to spend their time looking after each other. They had their different friends, hobbies and sports. I also guess that is why - apart from Ryan - that I never went back to work. I wanted to be there for sports days, after school and for them to partake in activities that weren't just on weekends. They didn't turn out perfect by any means, but they know I am here if they need me. This has reminded me to post a story about empty nest I wrote a couple of months ago. lol

Charity work - autobiography

At school I use to do some door knocking and collections for charity. Don't ask me which one though as I can't remember lol.

After Ryan was diagnosed though, I did a lot more. When he was first diagnosed we had Care and Concern from St Mary's come and help with his physio. Then of course there was Montrose Access (who at the time was called Montrose home for crippled children), who supplied his physio, occupational and speech therapists, along with social worker. It cost nothing for this service.

I felt that I had to give back to the community. Most of it was probably guilt based, due to being told at the time I was a carrier for the DMD gene. So to me, helping outside the house was me putting karma out there as a sort of forgiveness. Yes I know, stupid way to think, but at that time I was not thinking rationally. In fact for the next god knows how many years I didn't think clearly haha.

First to receive my help was Lifeline telephone counselling service. I really enjoyed this and did it for about 3 years. What happened for me to stop, was burn out. I started out with 1 shift a fortnight, on a Sunday night from 4 until 10pm. That changed to weekly and because I couldn't say no when asked to fill in, it ended up as 3 shifts on a lot of weeks. While listening to people talk and helping them in the right direction was great, it took its toll eventually. I seemed to work every father's day, which I hated, as it would break my heart when men would ring in tears because they weren't allowed to see their children by the mothers. I also seemed to get Christmas night, which was people upset at not seeing family - mainly the elderly. I also did some overnight shifts. These were the hardest as calls were from people in physical pain, usual from something terminal and also those that were lonely. Its not the type of  work that you get happy calls.

By this time, the kids were at school. I spent the next 11 years doing tuckshop, 9 years on the p & c committee as QCPCA rep, bookshop convenor, vice president and president. I also did classroom reading, swimming and anything else that was needed.

In 1998 Ryan put in his wish with Starlight Children's Foundation. Once it was in, I then joined them as a wish volunteer. I use to be given a case and would have to meet with the child, find out what their top 3 all time things they would like to do/have was, then go about trying to get number 1. I lost count of the number of children whose lives I brightened. Things were not just small. For example one child asked for a cubby house. The one I ended up getting for him was off the ground, with a sandpit underneath, steps and a cargo net to get up into it, a swing set off the side and a slide out the back. Another girl had never had a birthday party and at 5 didn't have long to live. I had 2 weeks to organize it and held it at the local school. It had dodgems, giant slide, pony rides, face painting, magician, merry go round, pizza, ice cream cake, fairies and a telly tubby costume for her to wear. To see her face was just magical. The best part of doing the wishes was that most companies donated the items, or did them at a very low cost.

I also helped Starlight in their first Qld starlight room when it was built at the Mater hospital, delivered easter eggs to the 2 Ipswich hospitals children's wards and stood on street corners selling merchandise. Again putting so much into what I did, burnt me out, plus I would never claim back any expenses, so money became as issue as well and by around 2003 I had stopped this.

Around this time I was canteen convenor for Ipswich Little Athletics. Volunteering my time since Troy was competing there. When he stopped going there it was a relief not to have to do it lol. It was every Friday night in the canteen, Fridays collecting the food for that night, Thursdays ordering day and I also had to do the high school in the area as well, when they had their sports days there.

Boy I am exhausted just writing this haha.

2004 saw me take over secret santa at EmailCash. September until December was spent with this. I loved it!! I got to know so many people that I wouldn't of otherwise gotten to know. Some people who previously I hadn't even noticed on the site,  would email me and we would get to talk and know each other well. I did secret santa for 7 years, the last couple on another site and about 4 secret bunnies. Thousands of cards have been through my house on their way to surprise someone. And over a thousand gifts were exchanged in that time.

I think it finally took until last year (2010) until I decided that I didn't have to pay back the world. Finding out that I wasn't a carrier and that Jade wasn't either probably had a lot to do with it. Now I pick one cause and help them each year, but in a lot more relaxed way.

I don't think I will ever stop, as its still my way of paying back the community for the help we receive. But I am learning to slow down.

Had to add to this today as I remembered more lol. I did some work for CODI, trying to get them some publicity when they were first starting out. I sort of fell into this when I attended Ipswich's first disability expo and got talking to the guys that were on the committee at the time.


I have also spent the past year as secretary for Northern suburbs rugby league club. Jade roped me into this, with her being bar manager there and the club struggling to get people on the committee. Its the one job that I hate to do haha Have already told them I won't do it next year. 

Daily struggle

Lately I am finding I am craving milk drinks. The problem is that they tend to build up phlegm in me, which in turn means that it causes my food to get stuck and I throw up. Gross I know but its mainly phlegm and what ever is behind it.

I am also at the invisible stuck line where I am just about to go into another bracket. It happened from the 50's to the 40's and to the 30's and the 20's and the teens and is now happening for the tens. I am determined that it will happen this month. Its just a pain not being able to exercise atm.

Now I hear you ask, why am I not exercising. When I did the charity walk I damaged t9 and t10 in my back and it is now seizing up when I do the slightest of things. After a ct scan I have been told to rest it for 3 months. Yeah right!! And who will look after Ryan when Peter is at work... oh the carer fairies haha. 

Next week I am going to see the plastic surgeon to see what the cost is to get my arms done and what he wants me down to for it to happen.

Going to try and organize myself to write more on this and my autobiography which has sadly been forgotten, although on here.

Oh and also now have a twitter account @kerrieczernia 

Night for now. :) 

lapband - nov 2010

Well I had another fill. I had been putting it off since I am having a lot of dental work done and you need good teeth to chew, chew, chew. But as I said to my surgeon I can always blend it.

I have had to go back on nexium. The burning in my throat from burping was terrible. It is one of the side effects of the band being tight.

As you might have seen I reached one of my goals, which was to get a pair of jeans. I was so happy, esp since they were a 24 and with a BELT. No elastic in sight!!!! I also got some shorts in a 22 that fitted. When I started all this I was 32+

Because I mainly eat fish and chicken I have been doing a lot of experimenting with recipes, which I have to say I am enjoying for a change.

We are going on holidays soon and I might even be tempted to go swimming :)

lapband - oct 2010

I had a fill yesterday. Needed one about 4 weeks ago, but I am having a heap of dental work done and wanted to wait. Problem is the dentist is doing one tooth at a time and I have apts until December.

Now have I said before that you need good teeth to have the lapband. One thing you have to do is chew, chew, chew your food. With painful teeth, that doesn't happen. The dr asked if I was sure I wanted a fill and I said yep even if I have to blend my food before eating. I had only lost just over 1kg since I saw him in August due to eating bigger meals.

I am now able to buy clothes at regular shops such as kmart or 1626 etc. That feels so good. The dr yesterday said that when I get to 100kgs he is sending me to the surgeon to see about getting all the excess skin cut off. While excited about this, I am also very nervous about the pain. He has said they could probably do everything I want done at the same time - arms, boobs, stomach. I was talking to someone and they had 20kgs of skin removed. :O

Even after over a year its still hard to get use to some of the things you have to do. When out with friends and esp talking you want to have a drink, but if you do while eating, I find I throw up. Funny how a lifetime of habits are hard to break.

I have been experimenting with recipes lately. Since I no longer have steak, bread etc and eat mainly chicken and fish, its becoming a challenge to cook different dishes. So far they have all gone down well here at home with the family so thats a plus lol.

I have more energy, well when not tired haha and am enjoying doing things I couldn't do before.

One of the things I am aiming for in the next month, is to practice getting on and off the floor. I know, sounds a simple thing, but something I haven't done in over 2 years. I want to do this so that when we go on holidays I can use the spa.

I can now put my socks on and do my shoes up without help. All things people take for granted except when your obese.

Anyway thats this months update. I will let you know how I get on with the spa :)

lapband - reflux

I had the specialist today but didn't get a fill as it is still tight. I am having terrible trouble with relux atm. Unforunately this is one of the side effects of a tight band. Also stress will make the band feel tighter, which happened over the holidays and esp the day of the funeral when nothing would go down.

I also found out that the meds for my back will make the refux worse.... yah, which do I want more haha.

One of the things that is happening now is when going out its getting harder to find food to eat. When shopping most places are either sandwichs or battered/crumbed food, none of which I can eat. Even at some places to eat there is no choice. We went out for dinner on the coast and the only thing on the menu at the club we went to that I could eat was soup. I have found though that thai and chinese are great to have and thankfully I love them both.

Oh and I should mention for gena that cold rock icecream is great to when on holidays haha.

Anyway the dr was really happy with how I am going... 8kgs down since last visit. Go back in 3 months or sooner if I feel I need a fill.

Now to give you an idea of what I have with my band, here is a sample menu of a typical week.

Breakfast every day - porridge
Lunch - either wrap, omellete, or left overs
Dinner - fish and veggies, lasagne, lamb or chicken done in crockpot, chinese, thai or homemade pizza (can't eat shop ones, I think mine are ok since they are piled high with filling) or a pasta dish with the pasta cooked softer, chicken and veggies.

Sometimes I have yoghurt or if friends are over might have dessert.

lapband - brain block

I am getting so frustrated. This getting over the 130kg mark is taking forever and is becoming a huge mound for me. So today I have started using Troy's gym set to help me overcome this block. Maybe something different to walking might help.

I am sure its my mind stopping it happening, rather than anything I am doing. I haven't put on, neither have I lost.

Another thing happening atm is my depression is playing up. The 2 probably go hand in hand. With the loss of sleep with Ryan, I get so tired that all I seem to do at times is cry. Then I start thinking of all the things that friends can just go and do eg holidays without their grown up kids, free to do what they want or to just pop to the shops when they want (even though I hate shopping). Its just everything has to be a well planned tactical manoeuver. If I want to do this on this day, who will be able to watch Ryan. What time can they do it from and to, will I fit everything in that time rah rah.

See how it goes. Then there has been the worry about money lately with the increase amounts with carers and the tv blowing up. I wouldn't have worried about the tv but we had a carer coming that night at midnight and I couldn't very well say "sit here and twiddle you thumbs." So that money came from the money that was to be for our holiday with Ryan at the end of next month. Yes we are still going and having a garage sale in a couple of weekends to repay that money.

I am not asking for help etc here, just venting and showing how all the little things are tending to build into big things atm. Saying how I wish that life could be simplified into the "normal" day to day challengers that others have. And also that I would stop farting and burping so much lately haha. Is that too much to ask???? lol.

lapband - 12 months 2010

Well today its been 12 months since my lap band was put in. Wow what changes there have been!!!

I have averaged around .698 kgs lost a week, which I am happy about.

I have more energy and nanny naps are a thing of the past.

Clothes sizes have gone down, car seat has had to be moved forward and shoe size has gone down.

I have no signs of diabetes, my blood pressure is down on the low side instead of the high and my asthma has improved.

I can't eat bread, eat anything crumbed or have soft drink without something in it (which isn't a bad thing when its barcardi or lemon, lime and bitters), without it getting stuck.

I walk quicker and exercise more. As Ryan said to me last night, " Mum you don't realize how strong you are". I think he meant strength and not smell lol.

I have done things I couldn't of done 12 months ago - my trip with walking around the zoo for hours and going on the sky safari, going jet boating (although won't be in a rush to do that again) and so much more. Even small things like now tying my own shoelaces, which might not sound like a big deal but is to me.

While decluttering my body, I have also done so with my life through the house and only having people around me that make me feel good and are true friends - which is why you lot are here.

Thank you for your support and friendship, it means so much to me. :)

lapband - waterfalls

lol, not that type of water falls. I forget each time when I have a fill and am on liquids that all I do is pee like I am 8 months pregnant haha. Up 3 or more times during the night and then every half hour or so during the day.

One of the other things that happens when your on liquids only, and this I find very odd, is that you get constipated. Its the only time it happens and I have to take fibre. Guess its the no roughage being eaten that does it.

Had blood tests this week and everything is perfect. My good cholestrol level - the one that takes all the crap away from the heart - is over 1 for the first time since I have been seeing my dr, and thats 20 years. At this rate I will live to 100 haha.

lapband - throwing up

I find that when I start getting to the lower end of a range that I seem to stay the same for a while. For example I started in the 160's so when I got to around 161 to 163 its like a giant hurdle to get to the 150's, same to get to the 140's and 130's. Now its happening to get to the 120's.

Its like I get so excited to nearly be there and my body says "nah nah we tricked you".
This one is a biggy as I can't remember the 120's. So I am hoping by the end of the month I will be there :)


The one thing I hate about the band is that you never know when your going to get something stuck. Of course some foods you know and just don't have, but other foods are ok one day and not the next.

For me this seems to be wraps and chicken. I can have chicken and salad on a wrap one day or then like today it gets stuck. I haven't thrown up for ages... actually it was the 10th feb when Leanne was over for lunch (also fil's birthday). Then it was also wraps. Yet I have wraps nearly every day for lunch.

I am starting to think that maybe stress makes the band tighter as well. Today I had to go and say farewell to a lovely friend who is dying. I spent a few hours with her this morning before coming home for a late lunch.

Anyway thats my update for now lol

lapband - judgement

So many people see someone overweight/obese and automatically think they know why they are that size and how to help them. Let me tell you now, that no you don't.

People put on weight for a variety of reasons. Health - both physcial and mental, over eating, wrong diet etc.

For me it was a combination of things. 20 years of steriods and other medication sure put a lot on. Lack of exercise was another. These 2 however are related. The steriods didn't help my bones, cracked discs then in my back tending to Ryan led to constant pain, which led to not exercising.

Another reason was depression. I suffered pnd after the birth of Jade, then just getting over that when Ryan was diagnosed. I had grief counselling which helped but then the guilt sets in.

It was bad enough knowing that I had to watch my son go from a toddler who could do everything to being in a wheelchair not being able to do anything to one day losing him while he was still a young man. It was having genetic tests that said I was a carrier and passed it on and that I also passed it onto my daughter and she was a carrier as well.

It was inlaws saying it was my fault. It was always having to be the strong one that kept the family together. Hubby didn't and still doesn't in a way, deal with any of it.

Food was my crutch. It wasn't that I ate a huge amount of food. It was that I ate the wrong food instead - lollies and chocolate. Most bigger people don't eat a lot. Some do, but a lot probably eat less than some thin people. I was punishing myself and I guess even in a way thinking it would be better if I went first.

I remember my doctor saying that I wouldn't see 50 due to smoking and weight and thinking, big flucking deal.

Smoking I just stopped. After 32 years and a pack or more a day I just stopped. Of course that helped with my asthma, which helped with medication.

It took the fall before help with the weight could come. Even now after the band, if I get upset I look for something sweet. Yes it is an addiction. Yes I have to fight it.

My back is still stuffed and I will take pain killers so I can exercise. Also with less weight it is easier to do it as well.

So before you judge, think about what the person might be going thru that you don't know about. 

lapband - health changes

I had to do a follow up survey for the psychologist that I saw prior to having the ban done. It reminded me of a few health changes to share.

Hypertension - I have been on medication for high blood pressure for a while now. In December I had to have my medication reduced due to BP lowering. It has also got to the stage where I might be able to come off it altogether soon ..woohooo.

Diabetes - While mine has always been diet controlled, the doctor is now saying that I may not be classed as diabetic any more. Can't say if he does this, that I will miss the 3 monthly pee in a jar and go for blood tests that I do haha.

Sleeping - I use to have a daily nana nap in the afternoon. Now I very rarely have one. Also not sleeping in like I use to on the days that someone is here for Ryan.

General Health - I have a lot more energy. A good example was while away and going to Taronga Park Zoo. We spend 5 to 6 hours there and I only stopped for 2 shows (the bird and seal) and for lunch and one other rest. I would never have been able to walk around there like I did. Also when shopping I can now have a brisk walk without the need of grabbing the first trolley I see to help me with walking along.

Back problems - I can't say there has been any change in this, but as my gp said "its fked" haha.

Asthma, arthritis and depression - no changes with any of these.

Overall I feel better in myself, although I do know I still have a long way to go with my mindset on it all.

lapband - april 2010

25th April 2010 update

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Displaying all 6 posts.

• 

  Kerrie Czernia

  Yes Floyd I know, its been too long lol.
  
  Well it took until last November for the dr to get the band right. I now go every 7 to 8 weeks for a fill. I am now down to low 130's and stuck a bit atm.
  
  I had my holiday which I throughly enjoyed, then Easter and atm am struggling not to eat chocolate or lollies. I am also feeling a bit depressed about it all atm as well. I think I would just love it to fall off and go quicker. Then tonight transferring everything over to here I was able to sit back and say... Hell yeah, in a year I have come a long way.
  
  This time last year I was 167kgs. I have gone from 160's, 150's, 140's to 130's and nearly in the 120's. I really need to focus on that!!!.
  
  I do have a lot more energy, which was aparent when I went on holidays. I was able to do so much more than I could in the past God knows how many years. I have gone down in dress sizes and it seems every time I get in the car I have to move the seat forward a little bit more.
  
  Food is still a problem sometimes with food getting stuck and end up throwing up. Also going out is a problem as a lot of places around here just don't cater. If they have fish its crumbed and other food they have seems to be stuff that gets stuck.
  
  I just have to get my mindset back to the right place. I guess in a way to I also feel a lot of pressure with people asking how much weight have I lost now. If its only a kilo or half a kilo since they last asked, then I feel like it should be more and I am letting those that support me down.
  
  Anyway I promise to update here a lot more often than I previously was on the other site :)

Lapband and why it started

The start of the journey 

May 29 2009 05:25 pm

I had looked at lap band briefly and the end of last year. The costs were what put me off initially. So I got stuck into doing some more research - what drs had good reps, who had been done and had problems and what were they, what food was involved etc.

I spoke to a couple of people that I knew of that had gotten done. One had major problems with hers and had to have it removed, the other had no problems.

I joined Yahoo lapbanders site and lurked and read what peoplethere had to say. I decided I would go and speak to a specialist and see what they said about me having it done. I was just going to take my time with it all.

The first specialist I saw was lovely. He put me at my ease as I had been panicking that they would say no you can't be done. He explained everything in detail to me,

 He was more than willing to do my surgery but the hospital he operated out of had a bmi restriction and I was over that limit. Yeah stupid hey!! You're going to have an operation to lose weight but your too heavy. So he referred me to another specialist.

I came home and rang to make an appointment with the new one and was expecting to have to wait for a couple of weeks or so, but no, I was in the very next Monday!!!

I asked hubby to come with me so that he knew what it was all about as well and to catch anything I missed or ask any questions he might want to know.

When we saw Dr Adib we found him to be extremely friendly and positive person. He went thru things again about the surgery and then said he could do it on the 22 May, (It was the 20th April when I saw him). Hubby was straight away, "book it in for then". I was sitting there like a fish with my mouth opening and closing. I said "but we don't have the money yet". Hubby had already said he would sell one of his cars to pay for it, but as of that date we still hadn't sold it. Dr Adib said that he would do payment plan to help us out until the car sold.

While I was excited about having it done, I was also feeling guilty, that hubby finally after years of trying, had a car that he could show. But he insisted it was okay.

The dr had me starting optifast on May 1st, 3 weeks prior to my operation. The optifast stage is to shrink your liver. The dr during the op hangs up the liver so he can get to your stomach. If it is still fatty it can be damaged very easily, so getting rid of all fats from it, makes it safer to work on.

I had to see his dietician who gave me the eating plan for the first 3 weeks. I also had to make an appointment with a psychologist to make sure I was ready for the op.

With it being so close to not being able to have food, I had some friends come over for lunch for what we called the "Last Supper". Good food and good company.

I was nervous, excited but feeling positive that this was the start of something good.

Why it began. 

[edit] [delete]
May 29 2009 02:35 pm

For years I have battled with my weight. 20 years of stertoid medication didn't help, along with bad eating habits.

I had stopped smoking in September 2006 cold turkey. The determination that I had then, finally came to me in 2009. It was the right time for me to do something about my situation. I hadn't had any steroid medication for over 12 months, so no more excuses.

Now if you asked if there was one thing that motivated me more than anything else, then the answer is yes.

At the beginning of the year I had a bad fall in our ensuite. I was on the toilet and got up and took a step towards our bedroom. My left foot started to slide on the tiles (they had residue of Ajax on them from the cleaner). I ended up doing the splits, falling onto one knee, then onto my back.

I laid on the floor and sobbed. My husband came in to help me up but I couldn't sit properly due to pain and weight. There was no way that I could get my 167kg blob back onto my feet. As I laid there visions of firemen and ambulance officers coming to try and get me up had me sobbing harder.

I cried for humiliation, shame and disgust. It was the lowest of lows for me.

My husband was able to get my son's hoist and lift me that way and take me to the bed before releasing me. It didn't help that our son's overnight carer arrived during this time, so there was no hiding what had happened.

Right there and then I vowed that this would not continue. I wanted to live, I wanted to see my kids grow, get married and have children.

For me this is probably the kick start I needed.

Lapband 1

post op visit 

[edit] [delete]
Jun 9 2009 11:24 pm

Had my post op visit with the surgeon today. He was extremely pleased with the way I am going. Said it was obvious that I am following everything to the letter. He said that my op had gone well and that I had done a good job cleaning my liver.

I am getting my first fill in 3 weeks time. I will have 5ml of saline injected into the band to tighten it. Then have to go on 2 days of liquids again, and then back to what food I am on then.

The dr was running over 2 hours late. He told me when I went in that he was doing a band on someone that morning and when he got in found a hernia the size of a very large rockmelon. It was so big it had pushed their stomach up in behind their heart. So the op ended up taking 2 hours extra with removal of hernia then having to reposition stomach. OMG can you imagine that!!

Oh and another way to tell I am losing weight. Not only are clothes getting looser, sleeves getting longer but I also had to move the car seat forward to be able to reach the pedals properly. No fat to push me forward haha

I did, I beat the body. 

[edit] [delete]
Jun 8 2009 09:34 am

Have to say the scales gave me a boost this morning.

Every time I have been on a diet in the past that 150 mark was always like a brick wall that I couldn’t break through. For some reason when I put on weight and went over that 150kg, it was like my body saying “well that’s it, your never going back”.

Well today I did!! 149.85kgs!!!

So body, take that! I am never going back over it again!

And yes I have been taking my medication every night, still not back on even keel but it will come J

Finally all caught up 

[edit] [delete]
Jun 6 2009 06:02 pm

Well yesterday and today it all caught up with me. Tears have been flowing and not just in trickles but Noah’s ark flood mode.

I think being bought on by a few things – today being daughters birthday and they always get to pick what they have for a meal, so not being able to have that or cake it just felt like I wasn’t a part of it. Daughter and boyfriend went out last night and came home and not knowing also ate the food I had made up for today (although it wasn’t mushed yet), I went to get it and it wasn’t there.

Also because of crushing tablets to have them and they taste foul, I have been only having them every second night… yeah yeah I know, shouldn’t do that, but I did. Hence anti depressants have seemed to cut out.

Then add to it all family that get shitty because they weren’t told I was going in, doesn’t matter that they never tell us anything and it was a pretty horrible couple of days.

But good thing is that I got on the treadmill to stop myself crying which worked, bad thing I started again writing this lol.

Wind 

[edit] [delete]
Jun 5 2009 11:36 am

Yesterday I had my first bout of wind up under my right hand side rib area. Boy what pain that causes!! Think I ate the yoghurt too fast.

Speaking of yoghurt I have the best friends around. A friend of mine Jan came over yesterday and knowing what type of foods I am allowed and not allowed, she brought over some gourmet yoghurt. OMG this stuff is yum!!! Made in Qld in comes in flavours such as Mango (which I had), coffee and walnut, rhubarb, and others. As a treat it is a great way to go and better still made in Qld and sold at IGA. Be warned though, ½ cup of it is too much as it is very rich.

The wounds are in such an awkward place. My bra is rubbing on one which isn’t good, so another friend suggested a man’s hanky between bra and wound to stop it happening. Am getting some today. All the others seem to be healing up nicely.

Exercise isn’t going so great, but am going to try and get an exercise buddy to make things easier. Will let you know how that goes.

Family has been so supportive and telling me how well I am doing and how proud they are. Clothes are getting looser and I can actually touch parts of my body that I haven’t been able to for a while eg shoulder blades.

Wham, Bam, Pow 

[edit] [delete]
Jun 3 2009 10:12 am

Last night having just sat at the dining room table to have dinner, my youngest decided that me sitting there with my rice bowl and princess fork was just too much temptation. He picked up my fork and in his best daddy voice said “ Here comes the train. Open up, toot toot”. Well that’s when my best batman impression came in lol – wham, bam, pow!!

Tried rissoles and veggies with gravy for dinner last night. Store bought rissoles but never again. Its either none or I make my own. They were a bit too compact to blend so needed more gravy than I would of liked to use.

And did you see more weight loss!!! Now I am only .7kg off of being in the 140’s… wooooohoooooo!!!

I have started on the treadmill. Only doing about 15 mins at a time at the moment but will slowly build up.

I am a princess!! 

[edit] [delete]
Jun 1 2009 02:51 pm

Yes you read right, I am a princess!!!

Sent son out today to buy me some small bowls that would hold about ½ cup, so it made it look like I had a big meal and a small fork to have small mouthfuls.

He came home with 5 rice bowls – these are excellent for the mushie stage and hold just the right amount.

He also brought home, a baby fork and spoon. He said he got the one with princesses on them as that is what I am…awwww….think he might be after something lol.

I am really enjoying the different flavors now. It was the thing I have missed the most, especially over the liquid stage.

Last night for supper I had some yoghurt with some apple that I had stewed before my op. just the right amount of tang.

Today a wonderful friend of mine (pozzie) came to visit. With her she brought have the supermarket of food I could eat and also some seafood mornay that she made me – it even had lobster in it!!!

I normally take about 20 mins to eat the ½ cup serve; this took me 40 mins as I was savoring each mouthful.  Thank you so much pozz.

Today is our 24^th wedding anniversary and we are having curried chicken and rice for dinner and mashed banana and custard for supper. I had been worried I would still be on liquids at the moment and wouldn’t be able to share a dinner with my husband.

I am hoping to add my 1-month photos either later tonight or tomorrow. I am feeling very positive within myself, proud of myself for being able to follow the dietician to the letter and grateful to having wonderful, supportive and caring friends.

First Day of Mushies 

[edit] [delete]
May 31 2009 03:15 pm

I woke this morning very apprehensive about getting to eat food and how I would feel.

For breakfast I made some porridge, it was ok but by the end of 20mins (the length of time I have to take to eat my half cups worth) it was a bit gluggy.

So roll on lunchtime and I had to come and tell you what an explosion I have just had in my mouth. I can tell you that the first mouthful was orgasmic haha. I cooked some veggies - potato, pumpkin and broccoli, and then mashed them with a little milk and to that added a tin of lite tuna tempters that had lemon and cracked pepper in it. Run the hand blender thru it all and omg to die for.

It made 1 and a half cups so 3 meals all toll. I will be freezing it as I am going to build up my choices of just grabbing things out the freezer.

Tonight for dinner I have the crockpot on making a beef stew of - beef, potato, carrot, celery, turnip with tomato puree, water, salt, pepper and instead of sugar I put 1/2 teaspoon of equal. Its finally great to be able to eat with the family and we all have the same thing. Of course theirs won't be blended lol

Liquids, liquids and more liquids 

[edit] [delete]
May 29 2009 07:12 pm

The liquid stage!! I am sure this has to be the hardest part. You have to build from having a sip of liquid every 5 mins to around 125mls every 20 mins at day 4 and then  cup every half hour around day 7.

This stage I was allowed -

• 3 optifast shakes
• tea or coffee with milk
• thin soups
• drinking yoghurt
• vegetable and fruit juices strained

I have to say that first cup of coffee I had on the Sunday was heaven. nearly 4 weeks with no coffee and I didn't care that it took half an hour to drink it. Nectar of the Gods  haha.

I was allowed to change what flavour optifast I had now and could have any. I got hubby to buy me the strawberry, which he couldn't get until the Wednesday. By this time I was at the stage of thinking, " I can't cope with making another bloody chocolate shake".  That first strawberry was magic!!!

Because I was use to making thick soups I found it easier to buy some chicken and noodle soup and strain it. Every day was shake for breakfast, soup for mid break, shake for lunch, orange juice for mid break then shake for dinner.

Not knowing much about drinking yoghurt I thought it was yukult, so got hubby to get some of this. Revolting stuff. I gave the bottles away to a neighbour haha.

So that brings me to today. I had thedietician  this morning and he has said that I can go on mushies starting Sunday. Wooooo hoooooo.

Mushies as my dietician  explained is food. So if you make something and then dip a fork in, if it stays  if it runs through the prongs it is liquid.

This consists of 6 half cup serves per day eg

• Breakfast 1 weetbix or a sachet of plain porridge on the fork it is food,
• mid morning, yoghurt with blended fruit (no passionfruit)
• Lunch, sandwich tuna and ricotta or casserole.
• mid afternoon, more fruit
• Dinner, curry, spag bols, etc
• supper, 1/2 mashed banana and custard.
• 2litres of fluid (no fruit juices)

The reason for the amounts is that my new little stomach is only about the size of an egg and if I have more to eat than 1/2 cup I can damage it. I also have to have a drink no more than 10 mins prior to eating and then not until 30 mins afterwards so that my meal isn't washed away.

I have to say my dietician is excellent although all my "visits" with him, have been done by phone. He really explains everything and why you need to do things at certain stages. He works in conjunction with the  people at Foodtalk, developing the guidelines for banders around Australia.

Can't wait for this stage to start. It's our wedding anniversary on Monday so we are having a romantic dinner of curry and rice with banana and custard later. It is one busy week with daughter and her boyfriend also having their birthdays on Thursday and Saturday.

Until next mushies update..... bye.

The Operation 

[edit] [delete]
May 29 2009 06:46 pm

4.30am and my alarm goes off. Time to get out of bed, have a shower with the surgery wash and get ready for my daughter to take me to the hospital. We didn't have to be there until 7am but it was a 40 minute drive plus Ipswich motorway into Brisbane is known for accidents and hold ups plus heavy workers traffic.

There had been a concern that I might not have even gotten to the hospital with floods we had the couple of days beforehand. But all was good and we ended up getting there 45 mins early.

We went to admissions where I had to pay the excess - I wonder if they get the money first in case something happens lol. Then someone came to take me to the pre operation section. She said that daughter wasn't allowed to come up even though I had been told she could stay with me until my op time at 10am.

This upset me a little bit and even had me thinking "was it too late to call it off".  To make it worse the woman came back a few minutes later to say they had changed the rules and my daughter could stay, but by then it was too late as she had left. A lot of others in the area had people with them.

I sat there for 2 hours before seeing the anesthetist who came to take my history and explain what he would do. He was a really lovely guy. Really putting me at ease.

It was another half an hour before seeing the nurse to take all my details and take me thru to get changed. For some reason this section had thought I was getting done later so as I came out from getting changed they said I  was next. Then they realized they hadn't had some blood work done that they were suppose to get done and I ended up having to wait around for that.

As soon as my blood work was done I was taken to the "holding" area in theatre. They checked who I was and what I was having done. The anesthetist came out to see me again and so did my surgeon. He asked if my hubby was there but I explained no he was at home and he said he would ring him after to tell him how it all went.

Into theatre we all went. Me with my beautiful white knee length stockings and ultra sexy hospital gown. Everyone else covered up with masks on - think I must of had bad breath lol.

I was connected to a few wires on my body, also a monitor on my forehead to say how under I was (have never had this with all the other ops I have had done), then iv in and off to sleep.

Next I woke up with the anesthetist calling my name and asking how much pain I was in from 1 to 10. I vaguely remember saying 8 and him giving me some pethadine. He also gave me a heparin injection to help with clotting. The nurses asked a few more times and gave more pethadine until I was down to under 5.

It was then a case of waiting until I had woken fully and I was taken to the ward. I had some splint type of things on my legs as well that pumped up and down with air to also stop clots. I dozed on and off for a while until a nurse came in with hubby on the phone. The doctor hadn't rung him and he and the kids were sitting at home worried as to what was happening.

The worse thing at this time is that your mouth is dry and all you want to do is wash it all out. Your not allowed anything for so long after the op but as soon as I could the nurses got me a damp washer and some ice..... Heaven!!!

When hubby arrived at the hospital at 7pm I was a lot more alert. I asked the nurse if I could sit up - from previous ops, I have found I cope a lot better sitting rather than lying. She was concerned about this and went and asked the nurse in charge who said it was fine. So between her and hubby I got up and sat in the chair. Oh did I mention I was also on oxygen all this time as well to get my stats up.

That night wasn't too bad. With the help of the nurse I was able to relieve pressure on my bum by half laying on my side with a pillow behind me. Although around 4am I did get and sit in the chair again and dozed a bit there.

The next day - Saturday - I was taken off the iv, oxygen and my lovely splints and taken off for a barium xray. This is to make sure the band is in the correct position and liquid can flow through it properly.

Until this test was done I wasn't allowed any fluids apart from water. My dietician had told me to take an optifast sachet in with me to have after this if I felt like something. He had also explained that often they will bring you food or even jelly to have but to refuse it all, as it's not allowed.

With the test done I could head home. Hubby came to pick me up. I can honestly say the most discomfort I was in, was that it felt like a bad stitch in your side. I was one of the lucky ones without all the shoulder tip pain, although I did get it slightly about 3 days later.

All toll I had 3 heparin injections and also came home with coloxyl to keep movements lose and no straining.

The optifast stage 

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May 29 2009 05:42 pm

May 1st and I was all ready to go. I had bought my optifast, sugarless gum to chew, benefibre to have in shake.
I was allowed to have -

• 3 optifast shakes a day - I was only allowed chocolate, vanilla or chicken soup
• 1 cup of berries no other fruit
• salad or vegetables from a restricted list
• jelly
• no milk, protein, carbs.
• diet cordial, diet drinks, plain mineral water

I stuck to the chocolate shakes as I had heard heaps of people say the vanilla was horrible and from previous experience with powered soups I wasn't game to try the soup.

I would have things like salad for lunch with a dressing of lemon and garlic on it, or my favourite salad of spinach leaves, bean sprouts, capsicum, mushroom and tomato with a dressing of soy, lime juice, garlic and chilli.

Dinner along with my shake I would have some soup that I had made up. I had to learn to like black tea so just had it and water for fluids of which I had to have 3 litres a day. It wasn't too bad just trying to keep the variety was the main thing.

I did have chicken a couple of times in that 3 weeks. My dietican had said if I was stuck out somewhere then to have protein.

I did vary the choc shakes from cold to warmed up as a hot chocolate. Someone sent me a chicken soup to try and boy can I tell you it was the most vial thing I have every tried lol. By the end of the 3 weeks I was very sick of chocolate though.

I had an appointment with the dietician again and he told me what to have after surgery. Best news I heard was that I could have any flavour shake by then wooo hoooo!!!

The day prior to surgery I didn't really eat much at all, as I was too nervous. I did however go and have my hair done and coloured just to feel good about myself and bring on the new me.