Friday 11 November 2011

Secret Squirrel - autobiography

Moving onto a lighter note now. I am co-founder of the secret squirrel club, along with Leanne Robb. Its an exclusive club that many people want to become a member of, but only those hand picked can join. By now your thinking - she's friggin nuts. haha you might just be right.

It all started a couple of years ago. A friend (lets call her Leanne so she remains anonymous) and I set off on a journey of truth, justice and the Australian way of bullshitting. We were acquaintances of someone who we suspected told a lot of tall tales and wanted to know if what we thought was right.

So in the car we went, disguises in hand and cameras at the ready. As we neared our destination we donned our disguises - mine was a cap, broncos scarf and flu mask. Our first problem was to stop laughing. My flu mask had been put on wrong and looked like a duck's bill. This had us just about wetting ourselves with laughter.

We did a slow drive-by of the house and saw we were correct and it the place and area were not as told to us over the years. Yeah yeah I know stalkerish. We then headed off to view the town and what it had to offer. We saw an outfit in a store window and decided to take a photo of it - no pictures of people or even the name of the store, just the outfit. We had a senior citizen come and chase us off, telling us to come in and see it, not take a pic of it. Luckily we didn't have our disguises on at the time, that would of really scared her lol.

We found a park with a tranquil church beside it to stop at. Here beside a major highway, I again donned my disguise. Her the name of our club was created and photos were taken of Head secret squirrel playing on the swings, hiding in the bushes and we found an unusual looking root system on an old tree that provided head quarters for us.

After this we headed off into the farm area nearby to look for things that matched our farms on farmville. Photos of windmills, fences, trees followed. Its amazing what you can find.

This was the first of many SS (secret squirrel) missions. Our next one was off taking photos of UFO's - yep its true, I have the pic to prove it. We found lovers lane and played terrorists around the RAAF base area. On the way back from here I had rung Jade at her work at the Strand to say we were coming for lunch. When she told me jokingly that she would throw us out, I threatened to do coyote ugly dancing on the bar .... that got us served haha.

Another time I went with Leanne (remember this is not her real name), into Brisbane doing SS. It was raining and after Leanne trying to help me stand on a seat in New Farm Park, and me nearly falling on top of her, I got to pretend I was a trapeze artist. On the city cat we kept some Asian tourists thoroughly amused. I am sure they went home to tell everyone about the totally awesome Aussies they saw haha.

Now speaking of my co-founder, I went into her work one day. She introduced me to her boss, who proceeded to say they thought we were sisters. Now apart from the foot or two height difference and the fact we look nothing alike, this gave us some food for fodder.

We started to tell her work mates that we were sisters. They would stare really hard at us, then say 'oh yeah you have the same nose and mouth' hahaha. This then extended to us telling people that we were identical twins and only our mother can tell us apart. Would you believe that no one yet has said we're not lol. The guy at the local RSL said he could tell us apart - Leanne was the nice one and I was the nasty one haha. Now we tell people that Leanne's real name is Arnoldine and I am Danita.

So keep your eyes peeled. If you see some strange behaviour, it just could be members of the SS club checking you out.

By now your really convinced that I am nuts and need admitting. But as Peter says 'As long as I am having fun and not hurting anyone, who cares'.

No comments:

Post a Comment