It is funny when thoughts and feelings overcome you. I was in bed the other night and had just dozed off when a noise woke me. I don't know what the noise was, or even if I dreamt it, but I was suddenly wide awake.
Not only awake, but whatever the noise was, it sounded just like the noise the chains that my granddfather use to put around the back of the dairy cows when they came in for milking. Along with this noise and thought came the scent. There is no other smell in the world like fresh milk. Laying in bed I could smell it as if I was there right now.
It is funny because when I normally think of the farm, it is the smell of cow dung that comes to me - I love this smell. Yes I know, weird.
I remembered the cement floor and the cows coming in and going out when finished with. The noises in the shed and of the tails swishing to shoo the flies away. The clang of the metal lids being put on the milk tins, that would be picked up later.
So strong was this memory that if it wasn't the middle of the night, I would of hopped in my car to drive to Gympie to see what had become of the farm.
Sunday, 21 April 2013
Thursday, 28 March 2013
Understanding.
I am reading a book at the moment about a mother who has lost her daughter to problems associated with diabetes. Last night I read a part in the book and my thought 'oh my God, I can so relate to this and it says it better than I ever could'.
..Not too long ago Nicole and I were living our own lives. And then she got sick and, by the score, doctors and nurses and therapists and social workers began falling out of the sky. ... In our wallets, their faces replaced those of dead presidents. ...Our lives were no longer our own. Every facet was governed and judged by someone else. First we were free, then we weren't, and now we were here. That's all I know for certain.
This is exactly how it feels if you have a child with a disability. Your life is inundated with people. Don't get me wrong, I have extremely grateful for all the help we receive. It's just that life is very much different. At the end of the day when you might throw off your bra or when you get up of a morning and think you might leave your nightie on until you finish tidying the house, you can't. Well maybe you can, but your house is going to have carers in it and I am sure they don't want to have their retinas burnt haha.
Your chain of thought changes and this was brought home to me this week. When I was following the ambulance to the hospital when they took Peter up, my mind was racing a dime a dozen. In the five minutes it took to get to the hospital, I had rung Jade, Peters sister and worked out a plan of action.
With Ryan in respite, my mind was racing... If they kept Peter in, Ryan couldn't stay in respite as it was Easter. Okay I will have to ring CCRC, QMDA, Focal and Alara to try and organize full time help. I had formed a plan of action in my mind and all this and the phone calls in that short drive.
Luckily Peter is fine and all this didn't have to happen.
Now for some observations from the hospital.
Shoes are optional, as most don't have any on.
You have to tell everyone around you why you are there and find out why they are there.
If you have kids, it gives you the right to talk really loud and try and be the centre of attention.
It's okay to use your phone and talk as loud as you can without going outside.
Speaking of outside, it's fine to go out and the staff spend forever trying to find you when your turn comes up (if it was up to me, you then miss out on that spot and the next in line goes).
If you eat chips or any other food, you can more than welcome to drop it on the floor.
Shifting to a different seat to get away from weirdos doesn't work, they just follow you so they can keep telling you about their kidney stones and past medical history.
Thank God we only have to go there rarely (third time in our lives, all what they thought were heart related and closest place with the right equipment if needed). Private health insurance is priceless, when it means that at other times we can go private and not deal with the above situation.
..Not too long ago Nicole and I were living our own lives. And then she got sick and, by the score, doctors and nurses and therapists and social workers began falling out of the sky. ... In our wallets, their faces replaced those of dead presidents. ...Our lives were no longer our own. Every facet was governed and judged by someone else. First we were free, then we weren't, and now we were here. That's all I know for certain.
This is exactly how it feels if you have a child with a disability. Your life is inundated with people. Don't get me wrong, I have extremely grateful for all the help we receive. It's just that life is very much different. At the end of the day when you might throw off your bra or when you get up of a morning and think you might leave your nightie on until you finish tidying the house, you can't. Well maybe you can, but your house is going to have carers in it and I am sure they don't want to have their retinas burnt haha.
Your chain of thought changes and this was brought home to me this week. When I was following the ambulance to the hospital when they took Peter up, my mind was racing a dime a dozen. In the five minutes it took to get to the hospital, I had rung Jade, Peters sister and worked out a plan of action.
With Ryan in respite, my mind was racing... If they kept Peter in, Ryan couldn't stay in respite as it was Easter. Okay I will have to ring CCRC, QMDA, Focal and Alara to try and organize full time help. I had formed a plan of action in my mind and all this and the phone calls in that short drive.
Luckily Peter is fine and all this didn't have to happen.
Now for some observations from the hospital.
Shoes are optional, as most don't have any on.
You have to tell everyone around you why you are there and find out why they are there.
If you have kids, it gives you the right to talk really loud and try and be the centre of attention.
It's okay to use your phone and talk as loud as you can without going outside.
Speaking of outside, it's fine to go out and the staff spend forever trying to find you when your turn comes up (if it was up to me, you then miss out on that spot and the next in line goes).
If you eat chips or any other food, you can more than welcome to drop it on the floor.
Shifting to a different seat to get away from weirdos doesn't work, they just follow you so they can keep telling you about their kidney stones and past medical history.
Thank God we only have to go there rarely (third time in our lives, all what they thought were heart related and closest place with the right equipment if needed). Private health insurance is priceless, when it means that at other times we can go private and not deal with the above situation.
Wednesday, 13 March 2013
How much can a bear bear?
This is a whinge, but I need to get it down on paper - well in word form. So if you want to leave my pity party, now is the time to go.
Years ago a very dear friend said to me "You are never given more than you can handle". I have always taken comfort in this and believe it to be true.
I look at my close family and know that they struggle and panic with son having asthma occasionally (not trivialising asthma as you will see). This is their level of what they can bear and that is fine.
Now while I might complain or use humour to cope, we normally get through things and come out the other side, because it isn't more than we can handle.
Today has me wondering, if maybe I have reached that limit. Will I be pushed to crack? Is this some sort of test? WTF did we do in a past life that we have to experience it this time around?
If you have read my past blogs, you will know of some of the medical things that we have been through, but here is a brief run down:-
1 ovary removed, 3 miscarriages, 1 ectopic pregnancy, 3 caesarians 1 hysterectomy (well another would be impossible) gall bladder removed, in hospital for a week with asthma that they didn't think I would come home from, diabetes, asthma, severe depression and a back that as my gp says "is fucked".
Now with the kids. All 3 had asthma. Jade had a couple of hospital visits with asthma. Troy for the first 5 years of his life, would go to hospital every 6 to 8 months to get grommets, had adenoids out twice and tonsils out. Due to this he had some speech problems and had to see a speech therapist. Before he was 2, he had tests for what they thought was epilepsy but which turned out to be cluster migraines. We were told he would either grow out of the or have them for life. Thankfully he grew out of them around the age of 8.
Peter had his tonsils out at around the age of 35. Ryan had his done when he was around 10. Then of course Ryan with DMD and all that goes with that - including losing all movement after his rods being done and the problems of his back opening up. And Ryan going to commit suicide when he was younger.
We had a painting business that at one stage had 3 lots of people in a row not pay, that crippled us and a worker that went up on a murder charge of killing his wife. God this all sounds like a bad novel.
So all of the above is a summary of 1985 until 2012. Then we have 2013.
I think that this year alone, has seen me cry myself to sleep more than the rest of my life combined.
We are still struggling from the dickhead that ripped us off in January. The same week that happened, Peter's work hours were cut in half by his boss. Peter had the breakdown, Ryan had breathing problems and somehow in all that was 'normal' life.
The latest is that Ryan is having panic attacks. He has valium, which I hope helps.
I feel hopeless to be able to help my family and keep us all on the even keel of life. I'm tired. So very, very tired of the fight. It always seems like, we crawl our way to a good place, then get kicked in the teeth, never having time to enjoy what is happening. It is also very hard to focus on the positive when the negative seems to swamp you.
I know I will be fine. I am seeing a psychologist who understands the battles we are going through, as she use to work for DSQ in Ipswich.
But you do really have to wonder, just how much can you bear and what happens when you crack your breaking point.
If you stayed and read all this crap, I can now tell you that yes it has helped to get it down and out there. I don't want hugs or sympathy or anything else. Just sharing the burden is more than enough for me. :)
Years ago a very dear friend said to me "You are never given more than you can handle". I have always taken comfort in this and believe it to be true.
I look at my close family and know that they struggle and panic with son having asthma occasionally (not trivialising asthma as you will see). This is their level of what they can bear and that is fine.
Now while I might complain or use humour to cope, we normally get through things and come out the other side, because it isn't more than we can handle.
Today has me wondering, if maybe I have reached that limit. Will I be pushed to crack? Is this some sort of test? WTF did we do in a past life that we have to experience it this time around?
If you have read my past blogs, you will know of some of the medical things that we have been through, but here is a brief run down:-
1 ovary removed, 3 miscarriages, 1 ectopic pregnancy, 3 caesarians 1 hysterectomy (well another would be impossible) gall bladder removed, in hospital for a week with asthma that they didn't think I would come home from, diabetes, asthma, severe depression and a back that as my gp says "is fucked".
Now with the kids. All 3 had asthma. Jade had a couple of hospital visits with asthma. Troy for the first 5 years of his life, would go to hospital every 6 to 8 months to get grommets, had adenoids out twice and tonsils out. Due to this he had some speech problems and had to see a speech therapist. Before he was 2, he had tests for what they thought was epilepsy but which turned out to be cluster migraines. We were told he would either grow out of the or have them for life. Thankfully he grew out of them around the age of 8.
Peter had his tonsils out at around the age of 35. Ryan had his done when he was around 10. Then of course Ryan with DMD and all that goes with that - including losing all movement after his rods being done and the problems of his back opening up. And Ryan going to commit suicide when he was younger.
We had a painting business that at one stage had 3 lots of people in a row not pay, that crippled us and a worker that went up on a murder charge of killing his wife. God this all sounds like a bad novel.
So all of the above is a summary of 1985 until 2012. Then we have 2013.
I think that this year alone, has seen me cry myself to sleep more than the rest of my life combined.
We are still struggling from the dickhead that ripped us off in January. The same week that happened, Peter's work hours were cut in half by his boss. Peter had the breakdown, Ryan had breathing problems and somehow in all that was 'normal' life.
The latest is that Ryan is having panic attacks. He has valium, which I hope helps.
I feel hopeless to be able to help my family and keep us all on the even keel of life. I'm tired. So very, very tired of the fight. It always seems like, we crawl our way to a good place, then get kicked in the teeth, never having time to enjoy what is happening. It is also very hard to focus on the positive when the negative seems to swamp you.
I know I will be fine. I am seeing a psychologist who understands the battles we are going through, as she use to work for DSQ in Ipswich.
But you do really have to wonder, just how much can you bear and what happens when you crack your breaking point.
If you stayed and read all this crap, I can now tell you that yes it has helped to get it down and out there. I don't want hugs or sympathy or anything else. Just sharing the burden is more than enough for me. :)
Friday, 8 February 2013
My Baby
It's amazing how quickly life flashes by. You just seem to blink and your babies are all grown up into young adults. Sometimes you wish you could just slow down the world and enjoy for longer the journey you all take.
So it brings me to say why I feel this way. On Valentines Day, my baby turns 21. OMG where have the years gone?
Troy to me, is still that little boy with fine blonde hair that would have a mind of its own.
Troy came into our lives at a time that we needed something good. Out of 7 pregnancies, he was the only one not conceived on fertility drugs. To this day, I am sure he was sent to soften the blow and help us cope at a time we needed it. Rather than going into it all, it is written on here - http://kerrie-itsmylife.blogspot.com.au/2012/02/babies-and-jour-sneys.html
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So it brings me to say why I feel this way. On Valentines Day, my baby turns 21. OMG where have the years gone?
Troy to me, is still that little boy with fine blonde hair that would have a mind of its own.
Troy came into our lives at a time that we needed something good. Out of 7 pregnancies, he was the only one not conceived on fertility drugs. To this day, I am sure he was sent to soften the blow and help us cope at a time we needed it. Rather than going into it all, it is written on here - http://kerrie-itsmylife.blogspot.com.au/2012/02/babies-and-jour-sneys.html
Three kids in three years didn't leave much time to think.
From the word go, Troy had a mind of his own and we all knew for sure he had arrived. He was the one that would rip off his nappy when he was in his cot and trying to take after his father's profession, would paint the cot, the walls and anything else he could reach with poop.
He was my climber and nothing was going to stop him from going where he wanted to. He had a stubborn streak and we often had a battle of wills.
The two things that really stick out - Troy had a dummy and no one and nothing was going to take it off of him. To me he had gotten too old to have one at two, so I had to cut it up to stop him using it. After the initial cries which lasted all of half an hour, it was soon forgotten.
The other item was an outfit that he had. Anyone who knew Troy back then would remember it - black and fluro green bike pants, with a matching t shirt. It was so bad that I had to buy another, so that the dirty one could go in the wash. It didn't matter if you let him choose something to buy, he would still only want to wear this outfit. It was stained and getting ratty. In the end, it had to go the same way as the dummy and be cut up (well it almost just fell apart). Again more tears, but soon over it.
It must of been this tortured memory that left his mark on his fashion sense. Over the years, I could take the other two anywhere and buy them anything to wear. Troy was different, he had to have just the right clothes that he liked. So he always ended up with less clothes, because his cost more than the variety store ones of his brother and sister.
Troy was never been a clingy child. He was always saying 'I can do it'. He was though and still is to a degree, someone who didn't want to be in the spotlight. While noisy around home, he was quiet with those he didn't know.
I can still remember him going through primary school, and every time he had to give an oral, his legs would be shaking so much, that it is a wonder he could stand up. He excelled in Maths at school, to the point that his year 8 teacher would tell me that Troy could work out equations quicker than he could knowing the answer.
Troy has had a wide variety of interests over the years. He use to do karate and advanced a couple of belts in that at a very young age. He was then old enough to play soccer, which he did in the winter months for a few years. His team did very well, making the finals nearly every year. Troy was fantastic as goal keeper, although he did play all positions.
In the summer months, Troy did Little Athletics for a couple of years. Again something that he did well in and at school with athletics as well. He had decided to give up little A's and finally decided on tenpin bowling as his summer sport. Again he excelled in this and by the second year was also playing the adult league and in the Ipswich team. Troy continued with this for around the next 6 years.
Even before Troy was old enough. He got a job at the local bowling centre. He did this until he started his apprenticeship.
Career wise, Troy had wanted to be an electrician. A friend of ours, offered to give him some work experience to see if he liked it. After the first week, Troy told us that he thought it was boring and that crawling around in ceilings full of installation that would creep its way into every crevice you had, was not something he wanted to do.
Troy was then sent by the school to do experience with a marine upholster. While he enjoyed this and was offered a school based apprenticeship, he couldn't see himself sitting in a shed all day. The guy was upset, as he said that Troy was the hardest worker that had been sent to him.
At this time, one of the guys that Troy bowled with, offered him some school holiday work, helping him in his tiling business. The first day saw Troy carting over a tonne of tiles up 2 stories in a house. He loved it! So he set out to find himself an apprenticeship. This came in the form of Apprenticeship Queensland.
Troy left school - or rather ran from school - to start the next stage of his life. It wasn't always easy, as there were down times when there were no hosts to employ him. Even with these down times, Troy finished his apprenticeship in under 3 years.
The good about going through an agency is that you get to work with a variety of people and gather a wealth of knowledge. The bad is that at the end of your time, you have no job. Troy was able to pick up work here and there with tilers. Over a year ago, he set up his own business. It is going in leaps and bounds and he has a fantastic name around the area. He has gone to jobs to fill in for regular tilers and done such a great job that companies have made him their number 1 tiler to call on.
.
Right up until the last twelve months, Troy was still someone who was quiet around those he didn't know. Having his own business, he has come out of his shell in leaps and bounds. He has strong values and God help you if you have kids that don't behave, as he will tell you how he could never get away with any crap and kids need discipline haha.
At 17, Troy became a dad to a kilo little ball of energy - spanner. He came home with his dad, slept in his room, went for drives with him and even now, sits at night next to him. I think there is a similarity in colouring between the two of them haha.
Troy's feelings run deep. You don't always know what he is thinking or feeling. He will just do things out of the blue, that really show an insight into his mind. An example of this is that the necklace in the above photos. Ryan gave that to him when he was about 13. It only comes off, when he is doing something where it might get lost eg skiing. It stays there and if you ask him if he wants a necklace for a present, the answer is no, he has one. The other, was him going out and getting a tattoo of Ryan's portrait. Not many brothers would do that. It moved Ryan and I think he finally realized how much his brother really does love him.
I could not ask for a better son. Troy is wise beyond his years, caring and thoughtful. He would go without, to make the world an easier place for you to be in. He isn't a fool and won't let anyone treat him like one. I am so proud of him and the man he has become.
So on February 14th, when you turn 21. Troy you can know that I am wishing you, all the happiness that I know you deserve. I hope that his year, is all you want it to be and more. I promise that I will still keep driving you nuts at times and speaking of driving, that I will continue to make you feel unsafe in the car with me driving and NO you cannot drive my car lol.
Love you lots and forever xxx
Saturday, 2 February 2013
Thank God January is over
All I can say is that I am glad that January 2013 is over. I wasn't going to write about it, but since it is part of my life and that is what this blog is, it needs to be written.
The Good.
I went and saw South Pacific, Mouse Trap and Les Miserables. Loved them all and felt very cultural haha. I went to the Gold Coast food and wine expo, where I got some great recipes and also discovered some new food. I was chosen to go on stage with Justine Schofield and toss a crepe . I thought to myself 'this is not going to go well' haha. But I did it!!
I had a fill in my band and considering I hadn't had one for 11 months, Dr Adib was very pleased that I had maintained my weight and not put on, as most would have. My diabetes blood test came back fine, so another positive.
I got to spend time with good friends on my days out and to that I am grateful. I have such a diverse group of wonderful friends.
The Bad.
Peter has to help everyone. Over the years he has been burnt a couple of times, but nothing like this month. A friend's brother wanted him to paint his car. Long story short, he wanted the car back before it was finished. Peter told him he would have to bring it back. The guy then got his sister who is a lawyer involved.
Peter had a nervous breakdown. I was having to deal with it all and talk to lawyers, who said that they had no case. Due to the harassment of the sister, Peter would then get worse. I got to the point of just not being able to deal with it all. I ended up giving the guy what he wanted, which was everything he had paid - money for paint used, money to panel beater. He hadn't paid for the painting, but it was more paying him to piss off.
I had to borrow money to make up the shortfall. Have been selling my jewellery, carousel, bell and crystal collections and anything else I can get my hands on. They are just things and its more important to me to get rid of this headache.
In amongst all this. Ryan had an ear infection and a burst eardrum. The antibiotics were playing havoc with his bladder. At times he couldn't go without hoping out of his chair. Since I can't do this, I would have to ring Peter at work to help. Even though he would clocked off and he gets to work his own hours, his boss went off and we thought Peter was going to lose his job.
Now add in more crap with DSQ to top it all off. The couple of days without power or phone from the floods was nothing. An inconvenience to looking after Ryan, but nothing more. Peter is getting better since it has all gone away and he can bury his head back in the sand (this is how he deals with most things. Not a criticism as such, just his way).
I think that I have used up my years worth of crying and so it now all has to just get better.
I joined the relief baked team on facebook and did the cooking for Laidley area, as my way of giving back and trying to restore my karma balance (can't think of any other way to say it). I am going to put January in a box and burn it.
Thanks to those friends that gave me a shoulder to cry, scream and complain on.
Now lastly, something that I thought of this week. When I had the reading, she told me that I there would be some trouble involving money and the law. I thought police, but with what has happened, it is lawyer. I am not a firm believer, but so much has come true with what she said. Food for thought.
The Good.
I went and saw South Pacific, Mouse Trap and Les Miserables. Loved them all and felt very cultural haha. I went to the Gold Coast food and wine expo, where I got some great recipes and also discovered some new food. I was chosen to go on stage with Justine Schofield and toss a crepe . I thought to myself 'this is not going to go well' haha. But I did it!!
I had a fill in my band and considering I hadn't had one for 11 months, Dr Adib was very pleased that I had maintained my weight and not put on, as most would have. My diabetes blood test came back fine, so another positive.
I got to spend time with good friends on my days out and to that I am grateful. I have such a diverse group of wonderful friends.
The Bad.
Peter has to help everyone. Over the years he has been burnt a couple of times, but nothing like this month. A friend's brother wanted him to paint his car. Long story short, he wanted the car back before it was finished. Peter told him he would have to bring it back. The guy then got his sister who is a lawyer involved.
Peter had a nervous breakdown. I was having to deal with it all and talk to lawyers, who said that they had no case. Due to the harassment of the sister, Peter would then get worse. I got to the point of just not being able to deal with it all. I ended up giving the guy what he wanted, which was everything he had paid - money for paint used, money to panel beater. He hadn't paid for the painting, but it was more paying him to piss off.
I had to borrow money to make up the shortfall. Have been selling my jewellery, carousel, bell and crystal collections and anything else I can get my hands on. They are just things and its more important to me to get rid of this headache.
In amongst all this. Ryan had an ear infection and a burst eardrum. The antibiotics were playing havoc with his bladder. At times he couldn't go without hoping out of his chair. Since I can't do this, I would have to ring Peter at work to help. Even though he would clocked off and he gets to work his own hours, his boss went off and we thought Peter was going to lose his job.
Now add in more crap with DSQ to top it all off. The couple of days without power or phone from the floods was nothing. An inconvenience to looking after Ryan, but nothing more. Peter is getting better since it has all gone away and he can bury his head back in the sand (this is how he deals with most things. Not a criticism as such, just his way).
I think that I have used up my years worth of crying and so it now all has to just get better.
I joined the relief baked team on facebook and did the cooking for Laidley area, as my way of giving back and trying to restore my karma balance (can't think of any other way to say it). I am going to put January in a box and burn it.
Thanks to those friends that gave me a shoulder to cry, scream and complain on.
Now lastly, something that I thought of this week. When I had the reading, she told me that I there would be some trouble involving money and the law. I thought police, but with what has happened, it is lawyer. I am not a firm believer, but so much has come true with what she said. Food for thought.
Friday, 4 January 2013
Emotions
Isn't it funny how a sound or a sight can bring back memories of childhood. Last night at South Pacific that happened to me.
Now I can't recall when I saw the movie, but I know that I was young. I think I was born loving musicals. Doris Day movies were always a favourite of mine. Last night the haunting Bali Hai was what sent that knowledge of knowing I had seen this before. I knew all the songs and when Nellie sang I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair, I had the visions of it being sung. I had to look up to see who played that part in the movie as I was thinking it was Doris Day, but no another blonde Mitzi Gaynor. I guess that is where my brain over the years just remembered blonde and who actually sang it.
In the second half, Nellie played by Lisa McCune, came out in her brown uniform. While all the men were in khaki, she was in a brown uniform. For anyone that went to a catholic primary school in the 60's or early 70's, it was that brown. When she entered the stage I was momentarily transfixed by it and thinking 'it doesn't have green buttons'. They were the colour of what we use to wear - brown with big olive green buttons. I could feel the touch of that fabric in my hands.
I guess it was the old memories and the uniform, but I was sitting there as a child of seven or eight, watching with excitement. It was the strangest of feelings and I had to give myself a bit of a shake and to concentrate again on the show.
The show was fantastic. It certainly fulfilled the wish that I hadn't done last year of going to an opera and being moved by the singing. When Teddy Tahu Rhodes sang you couldn't help but react. My body just felt like it was welling up and ready to explode with emotion. Christine Anu was perfect for the role of Bloody Mary. Lisa McCune stood out as Nellie and Gyton Grantley was amusing in his role of Billis.
I have a feeling that this is going to be a cultural year for me.
Now I can't recall when I saw the movie, but I know that I was young. I think I was born loving musicals. Doris Day movies were always a favourite of mine. Last night the haunting Bali Hai was what sent that knowledge of knowing I had seen this before. I knew all the songs and when Nellie sang I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair, I had the visions of it being sung. I had to look up to see who played that part in the movie as I was thinking it was Doris Day, but no another blonde Mitzi Gaynor. I guess that is where my brain over the years just remembered blonde and who actually sang it.
In the second half, Nellie played by Lisa McCune, came out in her brown uniform. While all the men were in khaki, she was in a brown uniform. For anyone that went to a catholic primary school in the 60's or early 70's, it was that brown. When she entered the stage I was momentarily transfixed by it and thinking 'it doesn't have green buttons'. They were the colour of what we use to wear - brown with big olive green buttons. I could feel the touch of that fabric in my hands.
I guess it was the old memories and the uniform, but I was sitting there as a child of seven or eight, watching with excitement. It was the strangest of feelings and I had to give myself a bit of a shake and to concentrate again on the show.
The show was fantastic. It certainly fulfilled the wish that I hadn't done last year of going to an opera and being moved by the singing. When Teddy Tahu Rhodes sang you couldn't help but react. My body just felt like it was welling up and ready to explode with emotion. Christine Anu was perfect for the role of Bloody Mary. Lisa McCune stood out as Nellie and Gyton Grantley was amusing in his role of Billis.
I have a feeling that this is going to be a cultural year for me.
Sunday, 30 December 2012
2012 in Review
Wow what a year!!
This year has been one of many experiences and journey into finding myself again. While this time last year I had made the resolution to do things rather than say I wanted to. I never thought that so much would be accomplished. Turning 50 surely was a great year.
Holidays - So we went on a cruise, which was so magically and I can't wait to go on another. If you haven't experienced one, do yourself a favour and go. The food was divine the shows were first class and the other passengers and crew were so friendly.
That was April and May saw us go for two weeks to the Sunshine Coast. I love it here and most of all loved catching up with great friends. If I won lotto, I would buy the apartment and live there permanently. While up there, I was surprised by Jade coming for Mother's Day, which was lovely to spend time with her, even if it was just for one day. We went up to Maleny and finally got to visit the cheese factory that for years I have said I was going to.
November was our week down the coast. While it is nice to visit the Gold Coast, I certainly wouldn't want to live there. It is too busy for me.
Now when I saw the psychic, she told me there would be 3 holidays in a 6 week period. Well we had a night at the Gold Coast for Ryan's Jades 21st, then our week there and in that time I also bought Peter's Xmas present, which is 2 nights at Mt Tamborine. So I guess all that counts.
House - I have spent a lot of time this year doing gardens around the house. It has been great, designing and planting and even better when you can eat the fruits of your labour. It has given me a great place to release any tensions and overall just something different to do. When I am in the kitchen looking out at the moment, I can see the vines of melons growing what looks like wild in the garden. I look and thing 'I grew them from seed'. It gives you a great glow inside.
I have also spent a lot of time, minimizing. Apart from giving me money to do other things I want to get done, it also feels good to have a clean out of crap you don't need any more.
Cooking - Wow where to start? This year I have done classes in pasta, cannoli, crème brullee, profiteroles, Asian dishes, Easy Christmas, vegetarian and demos at the Good food and wine festival. I was chosen to cook with Jamie Oliver, which was exciting. Most things I cook now are from scratch instead of using bought sauces or dressings etc. The family is really enjoying this new style of cooking and I am enjoying it all as well. As I tell everyone, I don't do anything that is hard, but have learnt how to do everything easy that can impress guests haha.
Family - A lot has happened with family this year. Troy has moved back home, which I love having him here. He has his own business and it is thriving and he has a great reputation with it. I am so proud of the young man he has become. Ryan, while he has lost a lot of weight which is a concern, is doing really well. He is back playing sport and enjoying it. I think sometimes he worries more about us than we do about him. Jade is constantly working, but the club is benefiting with the functions it is holding and catering for. It is one thing that I am so glad of with my kids: they all have great work values. Peter has stopped his job with the newsagency after 15 years or so. No more getting up at 2.30/3 am. He now just works for someone painting his rental homes. And the saint that he is, still putting up with my moods.
Friends - I have the best friends! I know that those I call close friends, can be called any time day or night if I needed and I hope they know that the same applies if they need to call me. I was lucky enough to see so many of them this year that don't live close. I did have a couple of set backs where my judgement of people took a battering and I started to doubt how I saw people and who I could trust, but it is all good now - well I hope so. :)
As you look back on the year, the things that gave grief just seem to fade away and only the good memories remain. I am hoping that I can continue to keep pushing my boundaries and experiencing new things in the future.
I can't finish without thanking my wonderful family for their support, even though they tell everyone I am doubly crazy as I am on two anti depressants haha. While I don't like to single out people, these friends are there and have listened to my rantings and supported me so much and more than I could ever say. So to Jan, Veronica, Colleen and Kerrie, please accept my heartfelt thank you for just being there and being yourselves and for me being able to call you all my friend xxx.
I hope that all my friends get to live your dreams in 2013 and that it is one of happiness and good health for you all and I look forward to reading and hearing about what adventures you are undertaking as the year progresses.
This year has been one of many experiences and journey into finding myself again. While this time last year I had made the resolution to do things rather than say I wanted to. I never thought that so much would be accomplished. Turning 50 surely was a great year.
Holidays - So we went on a cruise, which was so magically and I can't wait to go on another. If you haven't experienced one, do yourself a favour and go. The food was divine the shows were first class and the other passengers and crew were so friendly.
That was April and May saw us go for two weeks to the Sunshine Coast. I love it here and most of all loved catching up with great friends. If I won lotto, I would buy the apartment and live there permanently. While up there, I was surprised by Jade coming for Mother's Day, which was lovely to spend time with her, even if it was just for one day. We went up to Maleny and finally got to visit the cheese factory that for years I have said I was going to.
November was our week down the coast. While it is nice to visit the Gold Coast, I certainly wouldn't want to live there. It is too busy for me.
Now when I saw the psychic, she told me there would be 3 holidays in a 6 week period. Well we had a night at the Gold Coast for Ryan's Jades 21st, then our week there and in that time I also bought Peter's Xmas present, which is 2 nights at Mt Tamborine. So I guess all that counts.
House - I have spent a lot of time this year doing gardens around the house. It has been great, designing and planting and even better when you can eat the fruits of your labour. It has given me a great place to release any tensions and overall just something different to do. When I am in the kitchen looking out at the moment, I can see the vines of melons growing what looks like wild in the garden. I look and thing 'I grew them from seed'. It gives you a great glow inside.
I have also spent a lot of time, minimizing. Apart from giving me money to do other things I want to get done, it also feels good to have a clean out of crap you don't need any more.
Cooking - Wow where to start? This year I have done classes in pasta, cannoli, crème brullee, profiteroles, Asian dishes, Easy Christmas, vegetarian and demos at the Good food and wine festival. I was chosen to cook with Jamie Oliver, which was exciting. Most things I cook now are from scratch instead of using bought sauces or dressings etc. The family is really enjoying this new style of cooking and I am enjoying it all as well. As I tell everyone, I don't do anything that is hard, but have learnt how to do everything easy that can impress guests haha.
Family - A lot has happened with family this year. Troy has moved back home, which I love having him here. He has his own business and it is thriving and he has a great reputation with it. I am so proud of the young man he has become. Ryan, while he has lost a lot of weight which is a concern, is doing really well. He is back playing sport and enjoying it. I think sometimes he worries more about us than we do about him. Jade is constantly working, but the club is benefiting with the functions it is holding and catering for. It is one thing that I am so glad of with my kids: they all have great work values. Peter has stopped his job with the newsagency after 15 years or so. No more getting up at 2.30/3 am. He now just works for someone painting his rental homes. And the saint that he is, still putting up with my moods.
Friends - I have the best friends! I know that those I call close friends, can be called any time day or night if I needed and I hope they know that the same applies if they need to call me. I was lucky enough to see so many of them this year that don't live close. I did have a couple of set backs where my judgement of people took a battering and I started to doubt how I saw people and who I could trust, but it is all good now - well I hope so. :)
As you look back on the year, the things that gave grief just seem to fade away and only the good memories remain. I am hoping that I can continue to keep pushing my boundaries and experiencing new things in the future.
I can't finish without thanking my wonderful family for their support, even though they tell everyone I am doubly crazy as I am on two anti depressants haha. While I don't like to single out people, these friends are there and have listened to my rantings and supported me so much and more than I could ever say. So to Jan, Veronica, Colleen and Kerrie, please accept my heartfelt thank you for just being there and being yourselves and for me being able to call you all my friend xxx.
I hope that all my friends get to live your dreams in 2013 and that it is one of happiness and good health for you all and I look forward to reading and hearing about what adventures you are undertaking as the year progresses.
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